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| djin_bleu |
on Wed 8 Feb 12, 6:59 PM to djin_bleu's blog.
Everyone within the realms of BDSM will be aware of the term 'power', personally I deem it different from the everyday sense of the term in which we struggle to keep our power or we take from others, this power is different simply due to it being a life force, our essence to keep alive, to keep our dignity and pride. We are all subject to the food chain although we don't think so anymore due to the lack of natural predators although if you really take a moment to think about it one could argue that we ourselves are our worst predators as well as everything else's. I digress somewhat.
Power of which I am discussing in particular is a derivative of life's power but it is the sexual aspect we concentrate on. In D/s we can all identify someone who exudes power and wields it so but they are not always labelled as to what we expect, they may term themselves submissives for example and yet we can feel their strength through their character, personality and body language. Where people sometimes hit a snag is when they get aroused from being submissive yet always seem to rise up and fight it, they need seduction to enter into the equation, they are secretly hoping that particular person rushes in and takes charge expelling all urges to defend themselves and reach that place where they are blissful and content at their Dominants feet.
Likewise there are people who control their surroundings through a power exchange, upon finding a submissive they can exercise and impress upon those subject their own wants and desires yet feel that they are doing all the work, mental work if you will and then it becomes a paradox where the Dom/me WANTS control yet when they have it they expect the sub to 'mind-read' which confuses the whole dynamic. I am talking from my own experiences, not just observations although I have plenty to choose from in my time.
I am wise enough to realise that all relationships are uniquely flawed and by their very nature they must be so, how can we perfect something if it's already that way? Personally I have spent the last 25 years of my adult life trying to work out why I get aroused the way I do, it's certainly not out of choice I can tell you that now, I am one of the few perverts in the scene, many are kinky, curious or just love low down and dirty sex, I however don't.
What I have deduced thus far is that power in a sexual sense with another person isn't about giving or taking someone's power, it is about re-direction, channelling if you will. If I meet someone who is bursting with a vibrance and energy then I then can flourish in one sense as opposed to someone who just sits their expectant, I can have enough power for a rugby team but if the other person has none then it dies a boring death.
It isn't a TPE for me at all, I am not a Psychic Vampire, I don't drain a person's energy but instead use theirs against them, they must have a deep stirring of passion and intelligence, power with no direction is meaningless, it is just a mass which flows just out. Intelligence is paramount to re-direction, it is never just up to one of us to take charge; that would open us both up to misinterpretation and snap us out of the mind-set we aspire to be in.
It is always difficult to look past a partners label or self image but not impossible, every single relationship I have been in and known has changed its shape regardless of the participant's intentions at first. The trick to it all is to understand that there will be a time when ones needs and identity change and one must be wise enough to jump on the flow of the wave when it presents itself, a fool will stay where they are.
So for me it is about sexual energy and more importantly the others persons energy and power, deep deep down all of us enjoy gratification even if you are a submissive who craves to obey, you still crave do you not? Power is a gift to us simply when we are aware of it being so. It's like being in a dream and realising you are, oh what a person can do in such circumstances and the same principal with power between two souls, it can be channelled, re-directed and enjoyed which is a far cry from having it just snuffed out like a candles flame.
