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| Missdirection |
on Mon 6 Feb 12, 5:15 PM to Missdirection's blog.
I'm not in a good place today - well actually for past few weeks. I don't know what I need or want for the long term.
I watched the film Stigmata on Saturday night. For some reason I longed to be the young girl in the film - to feel that pain and persecution. I want to externalise the anguish, turmoil, self loathing and pity I feel. Maybe if the pain was real and physical I could justify all these emotions I'm experiencing. But when it's inside with nothing visible it seems unjustified, unreal even!
Am I alone feeling like this? I don't know and I don't care.
Here's the whip, nails and halo of barbed wire - who wants first go???
| 6 Feb 12, 5:21 PM carenza_lionheart UK(NN), 24 mths  |
You are not alone. Whilst I would never self harm, I understand that internal pain that is invisible to the world can be hard to bear. The one who claims to be innocent - who wants to test the claim? | |
| 6 Feb 12, 5:41 PM foxycherry UK(SE), 2 yrs |
Totally understand how you feel. As its already been said, internal pain cant be seen. I wish I had a wand to take it all away, even for the pain felt on the inside to manifest itself in a physical manner. So we carry on, trying to smile, trying to crawl out of that in a corner. Can I hand someone the rope and a cane???
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| 6 Feb 12, 10:41 PM misunderstoodslave UK(OL), 2 yrs |
Sigh. One of the many reasons I should have known what I was earlier is the way I longed for, prayed for, fantasised about the stigmata as a child and young adult. Catholics are so not normal. | |
| 6 Feb 12, 11:32 PM Missdirection UK(LL), 3 yrs |
We so need a "like" button on here!!!! Sorry? Did that hurt? |
