Scene Negotiation Form (28)

http://www.cyberprog.net/sceneform.pdf

I normally tell my subs to cross out stuff they don't like and circle things they really want to try. I normally also highlight things I really enjoy, and zero in on the highlighted and circled stuff first, before working outwards to explore things with a sub.

I have it as a word document also if you'd like to re-word things, just drop me an IC memo with your email address and I'll forward it on. It is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License. which allows you to modify and share it as you please, as long as you attribute myself as creator, and release your work under the same license.

Most people work around their psychological demons, we harness ours up and take them out for a ride.

What if said sub *thinks* they dislike something, and actually, if you try it, it turns out to be the best thing of their life? I was like that with face-slapping... now i beg for it from him!

(i was going to say other things, but then Madonna came on TV)

I can see this could work for some people, but maybe it's a bit too all-encompassing for a lot of people.

x

[pi]

...It seemed like a good idea at the time...
http://chopmusic.co.uk/ . . . http://www.brumbazaar.co.uk/ . . . http://www.londonalternativemarket.com/

Club Subversion Crossing the Rubicon FleursduMal bobette's Facebook Beginners Guide to BDSM

How appropriate with St David's day less than a month away

We could broaden that to include any spanking with food. I sometimes use a Toblerone to spank my partner. Then we get to eat it

PS: I leave the Toblerone in its box while using it for spanking.

Edited 6 Feb 12, 10:04 AM by leopard99

Club Subversion Crossing the Rubicon FleursduMal bobette's Facebook Beginners Guide to BDSM

To Honor! if you can't come in her, come on her!

Toblerone to eat = yum. Toblerone to be spanked with = ouch, that has sharp pointy edges! and nougat and chocolate! (yummm)

There's a somebody I'm longing to see, I hope that he turns out to be, someone to watch over me
I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood, I know I could always be good, to one who'll watch over me (Ella Fitzgerald, singing George Gershwin)

From the very outset of meeting someone for the first time, to knowing them - as well as one can know another human being, are we not in constant negotiation?

At what moment do you produce a piece of paper and say "Tell me everything you want to do, with the rest of your life"?

How sterile is that?

How truly encompassing is it also?

How does that create an environment in which you can empower or grow someone to be stronger or more confident?

How is that 'Control' or not 'Topping from the bottom'?

"Oh, I see you don't like caning? Well... you will with me, because I'm and expert and not at all like those others who can't use a stick" - I've heard this said, even without a list. How can a list improve the real trust needed to have such faith?

At what point does it serve in any way, other than to create a false understanding or sense of pseudo-reassurance to either party?

A relationship is organic. It is also primal.

If someone needs to work from a list, it immediately suggests that they can not communicate or are indeed uncomfortable with some elements of what they may be asked to do, as a Top or bottom.

Is this not driven by fear?

What occurs in professional circumstances, is to make certain that expectations are met or that boundaries are respected. Such lists are important for such activities, I'm sure. My comments are specifically concerned with non-professional relationships.

Given that people can communicate on so many other levels and that the journey in any relationship is one of discovering new heights or farther horizons, a paper shopping list does nothing to benefit the growth of either individual or the growing of their relationship.

This is my belief. I accept that others may have alternative perspectives to mine and that this is an open forum. My comments are not meant to insult anyone or cause offence. I am truly interested and indeed fascinated, by the proliferation of methods, barriers or devices that over-complicate something that is very simple, honest and true.

Could have been worse. Might have been slapped with the fish. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhJQp-q1Y1s

I don't consider it a negotiation form, though. More of a history/experience/interest list. There is a vast amount of activities and fetishes. To discuss whether someone has done all (or even many) would take a very long time.

By looking at the list, I find it could add spontenaity - because the limits are there, what they are interested/not interested in is there and a person can use that information in some ways which, if it was discussed would take away the surprise.

As for relationships being fluid, I agree - people continually evolve and nothing can beat ongoing communications. But, I find it is a good starting point.....

(ETA: Having said that, only about 3 people have ever bothered to send it to me in over 10 years. LOL)

@Play_Space - Next party is Friday, March 2, 2012 and the first Friday of every month!
Road Trip to the Sea!!! The October trip has tJust elapsed...More info here.

Edited 6 Feb 12, 12:56 PM by Ama_Sidero