Safety with Alt (36)

I have met loads of wonderful people from clubs and munches. Although with munch meetings I tend to find that people enjoy talking about experiences, but when it comes to meeting it never seems to happen. Clubs and meeting like minded people seems to be the best option. But I have recently tried using BDSM dating which is also connected with Alt.

I contacted a number of people stating that they are Mistresses and looking for a slave. We exchanged e mails and details. One lady wrote in detail about the what she would like to do to me and it read like a porno setting, she e mailed photos of herself and the photos seemed to be a little too professional. After 10 e mails she then requested a token of my devotion by insisting I'd pay the sum of £820 into a designated bank account. I just wonder what the extra £20 was for? I decided to use common sense and not pay the amount, besides I never even met the lady.

Another lady on Alt had a profile stating that she required a slave and her photo was that of a clearly beautiful exotic woman. Again emails and details were exchanged (never my full name and certainly never my address). After the eighth e mail she explained that she was currently living in Nigeria and would require me to pay a deposit on a house for her in the UK when she moves back. Again alarm bells started ringing and when I explained that I would need to meet her and see if we were compatible, she became quite forceful with her emails. She would not even agree to contact through MSN or even web cam. Needless to say I was very dubious and ceased contact.

Now I decided to be a little bit down to earth and answer an e mail from a normal true looking Mistress, not someone that looked like they came from a glamouous photo shoot. Anyway this lady contacted me and we exchanged numbers she phoned and we had a in depthed conversation. I felt quite settled and thought yes....finally maybe I could meet someone that didn't want a house or large amounts of money. But it appears all she wanted to do was phone me and tell me her fantasies and there was never any commitment to meet.

I am just also wondering is there a BDSM dating site which is good?

don't be so mean.. buy the lady a house, what could possibly go wrong ?

"Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed" Michael Pritchard
"Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall in love with a gorgeous redhead" - Lucille Ball

Don't give up, but keep your cynical head on while dealing with people on the net. If someone is pro then they will expect to be paid and may even require a deposit. But I would expect a professional to have a website in this day and age, so be sure to ask for the link. If someone isn't pro, then money should not be changing hands other than possibly to cover travelling expenses, and then only as a reimbursement once they've actually turned up.

But you really do need to be incredibly selective. The slightest hint of cyber wanker and they are on block.

In fact I can't say that we have had one bad experience, and have ended up playing with all but 2 lots of the people we have talked to, and we have had supper with both of them. However...

We have not spent interminable hours messaging. We have made it clear that there will be a conversation between me and the other female by conversation 2, preferably face to face,(Skype), any excuses and they are not given a second chance, this will get rid of anyone who is not up front within minutes.

It is all about how much time you are willing to spend and whether you truly want to meet someone. If you are all about getting horny online, they are probably a different species than the ones who want to meet you!

T

Edited 3 Feb 12, 10:11 AM by tallulahme

Generaly avoid any so called dominant on any site who requests such a 'tribute'.

Although I do not consider IC a dating site as such this is probably the best one although as it has been mentioned real life meetings via munches and clubs is the best way to go.

Any so called BDSM dating / social site is going to have people who have had good and bad experiences, the only way to find out for sure is to have your own experience.

I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it.
Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet (21 November 1694 – 30 May 1778)

I also met half a dozen or so lovely people from from this site, so it's worth looking here too. I know this isn't officially a dating site, but with almost half the people here being 'interested', it sort of actually is one. Just don't tell anyone, there's a good chap.

But- and on Collarme particularly- be prepared to sift through lots of pro-Domme profiles, and to view lots of profiles of women who give the impression of having the ego of Shirley Bassey and the temperament of an unusually uncivilised 10th Century Viking with a raging headache.

There is a common scam on some 'pay' sites too- you will be sent emails, ostensibly from dominant women, but when you try to reply you find you need to upgrade to a paying account. So all of those emails you've had saying 'come and be my slave, you little slut boy' or similar will probably have lovingly crafted by an unemployed truck driver with excessively hairy armpits and a beard, called Bill.

Or by an enterprising young nigerian gangster- I hear they are very keen on BDSM these days, the little tinkers.

Re meeting in person, to be honest I personally want to get it over with asap. Yes you have to be careful and the internet is full of axe-murderers (one less though, now that I've packed it in)- but emailing for six months is quite frankly wank. Get them on the phone or skype within a week, and meet up within two or three. It just saves so much wistful and earnest emailing, honestly. You get to find out if she's sane and has a vaguely human face, and she gets to find out if you are worth murdering- no, I mean dating. Definitely dating. Personally, I've hardly ever been killed by anyone on the internet.

But even better- if you don't have a good reason to avoid a local club event or munch, that is probably a more sane approach, in that the people you meet in person just seem a whole lot more human, and are much less likely to murder you. Not that anybody will want to murder you. I think. Nicest smile on, and best foot forward old man

Yes! I have scissors and cardboard right here. What size doll's house would you like?

" Good morning slave, yesterday i was a bit disappointed by the UK home affairs, my work visa would take longer time, they said the government has passed a circular to the home affairs and to all embassy officials to be strict with the visa because of the london 2012. And i have engaged in a beauty shop where i had a slave managing it for me before i decided to travel back home to secure a working visa. I also sell antiques online to masters and mistresses who are interested in buying, our country is rich in lots of arts and crafts antiques here, so i do trade them, and i make use of my slave's account to run the business. But i have hooked him up with another mistress and he would be travelling out of UK soon. I have about £1500 capital with him, but since i am not coming to UK soon, i need someone to continue working for me as my accountant before my arrival. My slave is leaving, so i approached you to see if you can help me be doing the task. It is as good as working from home. All you need is to set up an account where i have all my trading get credited, and i will give you commission on transaction if you are dedicated. There is no way i can raise money for my long term health insurance without this business. And this health insurance would take me £5000 and this would make me have more points in securing the UK visa. If you agree with me, you may give me your bank details, so i can have him transfer the money to you before my slave leaves for his mistress. It is not a job that takes your time nor your energy. All i need is just inform you when payments are coming in, and then you take your commission thats all, but you have to check your emails regularly. If you need a separate account for this, i can have him send you £20 at first to open an account, then later i will have him send the subsequent ones to you. Let me know if you are ready to work for me. Mistress "