This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| Wed 1 Feb 12, 6:45 PM Engenious UK(SM), 4 mths  |
Can anyone suggest a reliable and relatively quick method of getting a sub into sub-space? She is not heavily into pain and we are often a bit limited on time, which are the challenges behind this request. Pain can be ramped up slowly of course, but that needs time. Is it different for each person? I'd be interested to hear from both Doms and subs as to what they have found works for them, such as specific pain-pleasure combinations, and equally useful what doesn't. Practical ways of achieving sensory deprivation would also be welcome. | |
| 1 Feb 12, 6:56 PM polly_pocket UK(CF), 3 yrs  |
for me, ambience has to be right, and a nice build up. Im not sure the "relatively quick" would work for alot of subs and not every one experiences it. you have to know individual buttons to press. polly | |
| 1 Feb 12, 7:15 PM kitty_can_has_rope UK(GU), 15 mths  |
Not everyone goes into subspace every time. Is there some reason you believe you 'should' be sending your sub into subspace? for example, do you believe that you have to in order to 'get it right?'
Just trying to understand your need to pose the question, no criticism/judgement intended I'd expect there might be some common themes but it will be personal to each individual. In my personal experience, being in subspace adds to aftercare time needed which can be unpredictable so I definitely wouldn't advise doing it 'in a hurry' as you might not have time to provide the aftercare the sub needs. I wouldn't want to make myself vulnerable to someone who was going to rush off and leave me afterwards, I wouldn't feel safe enough to relax into that state in the first place.
Sorry, this is sort of list-like, not feeling chatty enough to make it fun but hope it is constructive Why be difficult, when with little bit of effort you can be impossible? | |
| 1 Feb 12, 7:33 PM Engenious UK(SM), 4 mths |
Thanks to you both for the helpful replies:
"Is there some reason you believe you 'should' be sending your sub into subspace? for example, do you believe that you have to in order to 'get it right?'"
More or less. We've not got there yet and I'm essentially hoping to work out from the responses what aspects of what I do needs work. It may be that I'm just not making enough time and providing the right ambience.
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| 1 Feb 12, 7:57 PM Sister_of_Cain UK, 7 yrs |
Subspace isn't the be-all and end-all, although it's really nice when it happens, there are levels of it. To get in 'that' mood will be different for everyone and between people. For some it's pain (not the best for you), a softly spoken word, a quick snapped order, a gentle touch, a forceful touch, some like hair pulling/held, some like the act of being put into bondage to trigger the mood, getting/being dressed in an outfit. Hope some of this helps. Sometimes suffers blonde moments. Hot as Hades, Sweet as Honey and Spicy as Sin! | |
| 1 Feb 12, 8:00 PM carenza_lionheart UK(NN), 24 mths  |
"In my personal experience, being in subspace adds to aftercare time needed which can be unpredictable so I definitely wouldn't advise doing it 'in a hurry' as you might not have time to provide the aftercare the sub needs. I wouldn't want to make myself vulnerable to someone who was going to rush off and leave me afterwards, I wouldn't feel safe enough to relax into that state in the first place." ^^ This. And like an orgasm, if you make it a holy grail, the pressure will mean you never find it. The one who claims to be innocent - who wants to test the claim? | |
| 1 Feb 12, 8:08 PM Monkey_Wench UK(B), 20 mths    |
For me the quickest and most reliable method is needle play. That never fails to subspace me, but in quite a different way to eny other kind of play. I believe that's due to the initial endorphin rush. Being tied, slowly and sensually does it as well. That is a different kind of subspace for me though, a gentle, calm floating one. With impact play there is no shortcut for me. It takes a long, slow warmup, with some stingy singletail action when I am ready for it. And nothing hard and thuddy like paddles, they just bring me straight back out again. If it is done right I will float, and fly, and have a wonderful time. But this is all very specific to me, everyone is different, and I am different every time I play. The person I am playing with makes a huge difference as well, our relationship, whether it is just a play one, or an emotional one, that has a huge impact. Sometimes ambience and setting make a difference, sometimes not. It really is going to be a case of trial and error for you guys, and that in itself is an exciting thing to be enjoyed as you experiment. Have fun! "Love is the longing for the half of ourselves we have lost." — Milan Kundera | |
| 1 Feb 12, 8:12 PM Toots UK(S), 7 yrs |
Agree with all the above and to answer directly and from personal experience, one word.....
Needles!! This is an interesting world I find myself in — an interesting hole I find myself in — fits me rather neatly, doesn't it? In fact it fits me staggeringly well, must have been made to have me in it!! | |
| 1 Feb 12, 8:16 PM Monkey_Wench UK(B), 20 mths |
LOL - not just me that goes ga-ga with needles then?
"Love is the longing for the half of ourselves we have lost." — Milan Kundera | |
| 1 Feb 12, 9:51 PM Engenious UK(SM), 4 mths |
I think we will From all the responses it does seem that we need to find our own way with this and understanding that there are different types kinds of subspace that can be arrived at in quite differnt ways is enlightening. Does anyone have any thoughts on the role of sensory deprivation, and of course any practical tips. We use a blindfold, but that's about it. | |
| 1 Feb 12, 10:06 PM RichardNewbury UK(BH), 4 yrs |
If she's really comfortable: needles! Mine sub-spaced after the first one at a party recently. Stayed well under for the next 15 and then took her time coming back. Best regards, Richard "A leader leads by example, whether he intends to or not." |
