This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| 2 Feb 12, 11:43 AM bohnanza UK(FK), 12 yrs   |
Everyone on PlentyOfFish or Match or OKCupid is after a partner, less than half the people on here are looking, 49% — made up of 53.9% of men and 42.0% of women — and some of those are arses who still have an ad active whose title is Not looking. Well turn your ad off and you won't be selfish by taking a spot in the personals and misleading people. IC isn't a dating site, though that is one of its features. I have the perfect accent for conflict resolution, shame about the personality. | |
| 2 Feb 12, 11:55 AM Souci_X UK(BA), 5 yrs |
Part of the problem with internet dating, in my opinion, is that it creates a checklist which makes people more rigid. They look for interests ticked, the right height, the right eye colour, a good photo, a good location etc etc forever and ever. This isn't how you date out in the real world. You see someone/meet someone and give it a go. Then if there are compromises to be made then you make them. I think the internet can make people too picky, and therefore unrealistic. I have had a fair few relationships, a mixture from online and off as the first meeting but none have been perfect, if I was just looking for that checklist of stuff I would still be single, and probably never have dated anyone at all. I am not saying people shouldn't have the ideal in their head, I just think people should also mix that with realism. | |
| 2 Feb 12, 12:13 PM bohnanza UK(FK), 12 yrs |
This is a really valid point of view. A lot of people pick potential suitors using exclusion rather than inclusion, eg they are ruled out because they drink, rather than ruled in because they also like pony play. Online you only get to see what they want you to see. Observing people at events is much more productive, you see how they react to things and people rather than through replies where time has been taken to tailor the reply for you. I have the perfect accent for conflict resolution, shame about the personality. | |
| 2 Feb 12, 12:39 PM annetony UK(GL), 6 yrs |
I can't remember the last time I sent a memo to a Domme's personal ad here on IC. I only send IMs to people I have met and played with in real life. Last year I did receive a memo from a Domme looking for a relationship and we sent messages back and forth but nothing came of it. She did get to know a lot about me, but did not reveal much about herself either in her profile or in our messaging. But I do think she was genuine. Don't think I want to do that again though, too one-sided. So real life meetings at a munch or an event are probably still the best way of going about things.I am looking at vanilla dating sites at the moment and getting some response. Even found my dream lady on one site, tall, equestrian , not many miles from me and – just about – in the age range which might consider me. I had to send her a message, as even without any kink element, just seeing her in her riding gear would do me! Sadly she hasn't been on line for over a month, so the chances of her even reading my message is not great and a positive response is probably even more remote, but at least I tried! It hurts so good | |
| 2 Feb 12, 3:05 PM ToakReon  UK(RH), 12 yrs |
Perhaps I should try:- "Hi, this is you local depraved lecher. I saw your profile and picture (PHWOOOAAAR!) and thought you were a girl who would look great naked and handcuffed. Fancy meeting up for dinner and violent ravishment?" *UPDATE* Model(s) for "how to" bondage photographs (and other bondage photographs) have now been found. Thank you to all who showed interest. | |
| 2 Feb 12, 3:14 PM SlutBoy2000 UK(AL), 7 mths |
Well, I keep writing stuff on here, in the hope that a big strong woman will come along, kidnap me and make me her slave forever and ever and ever!
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| 2 Feb 12, 4:06 PM SirBstard UK(DL), 6 yrs |
very little point these days. I met my slave on Collarme of all places These days that would be less easy as all the women are really men and if they aren't then they are scared to go out of the house.
There's hardly anyone on the personals in my area. Tend to be the same names year after year after year(they obviously don't go out of their house either...) I don't think there is a Ds dating site anymore is there? This is a "discussion" site, Fetlife is a "woop woop I went to club and got tied up with some rope" site and Collarme is just a joke Edited 2 Feb 12, 4:09 PM by SirBstard | |
| 2 Feb 12, 4:13 PM handywithrope 5 yrs |
Gave up long ago. Nine out of ten don't reply, although the one taht does turns into a good friendship! Answer vanilla dating sites about 4 a month. IC about 4 a year. So the answer is not a lot of effort, except in fits and starts. | |
| 2 Feb 12, 4:54 PM Helena_loves UK(LN), 15 mths |
I think what you say Souci is very true. I myself find I have a certain type of person I am looking for. Maybe I overlook compatible matches, basing my decision on one or two photos. Some might say, shallow - perhaps so. On the plus side, the net can instantly put you in touch with many people, who in reality you would never cross paths with. This surely cannot be a bad thing. I must say, I think it better to attempt to meet someone as quickly as possible if there are commonalities. There is nothing worse than prolonged emailing, taking up precious time for nothing to come to fruition.
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