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| Adverse_Camber |
on Sun 29 Jan 12, 11:50 PM to Adverse_Camber's blog.
is a peculiar thing.
So my dad was here this weekend, I don't see very much of him, what with living a couple continents away and that.
I showed him our website, cos I'm proud of it; and excited about the potential it has. He kinda glanced at it, then said something about it being very convincing, how could I claim to be able to do all that?
And for a moment, I was flash-angry, then defaulted to quiet hurt. But...a new thing...I didn't immediately think, "Yeah, he's right, I'm a fraud."
Instead I thought, "Wow, he knows NOTHING about what I am capable of, of what I have achieved in this swift interlude of 20 years."
And I realised...that's not his fault. Because that's when I stopped trying to impress him, or anyone really, I guess.
I have now NON-attended one graduate exhibition and three graduation ceremonies, one at the House of Commons, no less. Because I just don't care...I don't need a ceremony, or the certificate, or all the letters I can put after my name. I'm a licensed this and a qualified that...and so what?
Hell, I don't even know where the sodding certificates are!(Or my driver's licence; or my decree absolute- but that's another story)
It's what I actually do that counts, to me. And I guess I just forgot to tell him what I achieved along the way. And I realise, finally, how little hold that lack of self-esteem has on me anymore.
I had to be obliterated first for that to happen though.
| 30 Jan 12, 12:51 AM gastro_masochist 6 mths |
perhaps we all need to be 'obliterated' before we can begin. Ib xx "I'm not bothered if people in general like me or not, those that matter to me like me and that's all that counts." |
| 30 Jan 12, 8:18 AM carenza_lionheart UK(NN), 24 mths  |
That's a fabulous definition of self esteem. x The one who claims to be innocent - who wants to test the claim? |
| 30 Jan 12, 12:13 PM MissP UK(EN), 8 yrs |
It's a mind over matter subject. I find that if I don't mind, they don't matter. |
| 30 Jan 12, 12:27 PM MisstressvsSolicedog UK(NN), 17 mths |
funny thing parent's,, when i lived at home i went of abroad for a week,, arriving home they asked where i had been,, i told em they did'nt believe me ? even though i had said before going. so the implacation was that i was lying,, to what ever end's .. Please excuse crap spelling cause i,m rubbish |
