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| Ms_Valentine |
I was reading on a thread just now about what might define a hard player and what hard play might be.
I love how complex and varied we are in what we love and equally what we could not do and why.
I am mostly into D/s, so controlling @paulss is my biggest thrill. I do like to undertake some kinky activities with him and also with my fee paying subs.
I tend to be a harder or softer player when it comes to pain play depending upon who I am with. I can hurt paul but only to a point. I can hurt pure masochists to a point way beyond that, where blood flows.
My biggest pain-play pleasure is CP. Any implement, any length of time and any degree of severity. I love it, adore it and couldn't live without it.
I couldn't hit a person in a bdsm session with my balled fist, I couldn't kick or even slap a face really hard. It just makes me go cold. This same person who can cane a man until he begs and cries, bleeds, bruises black and blue and every other hue, can't thump, slap, punch or kick.
I wish I could live for a while in the skin of other 'hard players' who play with different implements, motivations and goals. I want to understand why some love what I could not do. I don't feel critical toward or dismissive of their pleasures. I actually feel frustrated that I can't just for a little while, see what they see. It is not that I am not totally satisfied with my pleasures. It is just that sense of curiosity that makes me wish I could untether myself from my own consciousness and see things as others do.
I guess it is the idea that one should try to experience as much as one can in life but with bdsm, I don't think you can experience the 'same' as those others who enjoy and relish something if you just do not get what they get from it though.
Oh well, not a rant, just a little reflection upon limits, in a way I don't normally think of them.
| 28 Jan 12, 10:30 PM will_ingtoplease UK(LN), 3 yrs  |
I have wished many times I could take more , as much as i have tried . I have a fantastic time and I hope Mistress does also ,knowing I have gone as far as I can, hope i am not weak but certainly not a hero. thats the way it is , I am sure you and your subs enjoy, so I hope like me that gives you pleasure always . Regrets i have a few , great memories I have many . | |||
| 28 Jan 12, 10:33 PM hollythedolly UK(NN), 2 yrs  |
I go cold at the sound of a whip or a cane. It's swings and roundabouts And i have to be built up or i just switch off and dont respond leaving myself and the other person frustrated. Only a couple of people i've ever played with have realised that. So it what is best for you and yours. | |||
| 28 Jan 12, 10:33 PM Ms_Valentine UK, 9 yrs |
Exactly.I am happy with my life. I just want a way in, a window to allow me in on how others think and feel so I could connect to their passions with some sense of understanding. Dominant partner in an FLR with @paulss | |||
| 28 Jan 12, 10:34 PM tanken UK(NR), 2 yrs |
I think doing what interests you is fine. Most of us won't climb Mount Everest in our lifetimes but I don't think that we are 'missing out'.
My own interests within bdsm are very limited indeed but I'm happy with things that turn me on rather than trying things that have no interest just for the sake 'individual experience' Happiness is a warm bum | |||
| 28 Jan 12, 10:36 PM Ms_Valentine UK, 9 yrs |
Yes...I see....but it is not about doing what is best for yourself. That goes without saying or at least I hope so. I just wish I could be in someone else skin for a while, to feel the pleasure, exhileration, passion, they feel and see that activity with new eyes. Dominant partner in an FLR with @paulss | |||
| 28 Jan 12, 10:38 PM Ms_Valentine UK, 9 yrs |
I am not talking about missing out as I don't need more bdsm interests to enjoy for myself. I really do love what I love and feel great about it. I just wish I could understand other people's joys a bit better. Dominant partner in an FLR with @paulss | |||
| 28 Jan 12, 10:38 PM tanken UK(NR), 2 yrs |
Well I'm afraid you can't be someone else but that is the purpose of communication: writing, talking, taking photos, making films etc. is all about
Happiness is a warm bum | |||
| 28 Jan 12, 10:44 PM Ms_Valentine UK, 9 yrs |
That s the point of my wistful reflective blog. One cannot ever get something that others do unless we share their desires. We can be supportive and respectful but we will never FEEL what they do. We will always be an observer, outside of a boundary, a kind of limit we cannot break through. Dominant partner in an FLR with @paulss | |||
| 28 Jan 12, 10:44 PM will_ingtoplease UK(LN), 3 yrs |
Ms Valentine I hope you never have any doubts the pleasure a sub gets , no matter how severe , they - we -I just go as far as we can that extra few strokes , never get to a total they want to take , but they try, Pain is not the only way to show devotion , hope peherps my opinion helps your thoughts , as you stated you just wanted opinions . Have a great life | |||
| 28 Jan 12, 10:50 PM Ms_Valentine UK, 9 yrs |
No, I can understand how a sub feels when being subject to CP. Stuff I am into I can feel connected to and understand what a sub gets from it. I think that is because I am part of that energy, that thrill. I am the yin to their yang or however one likes to put it. When I am playing, I see and feel a subs pleasure quite easily. Even though, I don't want to submit to CP, I can imagine it is a wonderful, exciting thing to do. My blog was only about things I am not inclined toward and so will never be able to experience and understand as others do. Dominant partner in an FLR with @paulss Edited 28 Jan 12, 10:55 PM by Ms_Valentine |
