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| angellover |
on Mon 23 Jan 12, 5:56 PM to angellover's blog.
I have a really good friend who I respect and love as a friend. I have never played with them or seen them as my Dom to be or any thing like that... just a really good mate who shares some interests outside of BDSM.
Well, He met a new sub and he started seeing her. Now their roles have reversed and she's topping him and I see no issues with this as its their lives not mine and as long as his happy I am happy for him. However, what I can not understand is: she has told him, his not to have any contact with me...
I am totally amazed that they are not allowed a good friend and it makes me wonder why, what's the big deal, why ??
As to my friend, I respect you carrying out the wishes and instructions given you, but I will not give you up as friend as that's Not what friends do and I will always be your friend and an ear and a song when ever you need it.
| 23 Jan 12, 6:05 PM simply_sub_lime UK(SP), 2 yrs |
It sounds to me like the female partner you refer to, cannot call her a Domme lol, has confidence issues and regards you as a threat. You do right in standing by him, as in my experience, their relationship may well be short lived and your long term friendship towards him is far more important.
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| 23 Jan 12, 6:06 PM frida_sub UK(CM), 2 yrs |
The woman must feel threatened by you in some way - God knows why! I have always found it odd that some Dominants feel they have to micro manage their submissive's friends. This thankfully isn't a problem i have to deal with. I hope your friend sees sense, as unless one is lucky, who are we with left with when the Dominant disappears - our friends. hugggs moonie xxxx i love Who i am with and i am with Who i love | ||
| 23 Jan 12, 6:27 PM IrrepressibleSoul  UK(OX), 24 mths  |
Would echo the above comments It always makes me quite irate when I see something like this....so-called as control or Dominance.... Personally I see it as general insecurity, and a high level of it. The alternative as other posts said....is they see you personally as a direct threat....but that still comes back to insecurity. I have to say, you are quite generous....I would be fairly miffed with any friend of mine going along with this...furthermore....well I think its just rude. Tathagata Buddha, the Father Buddha said "with our thoughts, we make the world"......well I bet he never had to build a flippin' shed! | ||
| 23 Jan 12, 6:29 PM Maximotom 4 mths |
Why have you written a blog about a private matter ? | ||
| 23 Jan 12, 6:40 PM chartreuse UK(BA), 6 yrs  |
Because she needed to! Why do you ask?
@The_Coven / @The_Problem_Page / I want the "Moon on a stick and the Stars suspended from bunting". / So many haystacks, so few needles! / Any man can be what a woman wants him to be, if he wants to be with her... relinquish the power to her and let her lead the way. | ||
| 23 Jan 12, 6:45 PM angellover UK(CM), 3 yrs |
What is it to you? However, If I am not allowed contact with my friend, when they read the blogs as they do. They will see and need to know that I will not stop being their friend and that I do care.... Simple really isn't it.
The highest fences we have to climb, are those we have built within our mind | ||
| 23 Jan 12, 6:46 PM angellover UK(CM), 3 yrs |
The highest fences we have to climb, are those we have built within our mind | ||
| 23 Jan 12, 7:16 PM Maximotom 4 mths |
sorry my reply was to not address to you , l have no wish to get into any dialogue with a third party
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| 23 Jan 12, 7:35 PM angellover UK(CM), 3 yrs |
I just want him to know I am hear if any thing happens, I hope it doesn't, as his a nice person even I can understand and respect that he needs to carry out the instructions given to him. I was wondering why his not allowed friends and IF the peices need picking up, they will know I am hear.... simple really.
The highest fences we have to climb, are those we have built within our mind | ||
| 23 Jan 12, 8:00 PM vixylix 2 yrs |
I despise "Dom/mes" who restrict certain friendships. What happened to consent? Why should YOU suffer for their "dynamic"? I have been at the receiving end of this where my friend had restictions on elements of our friendship (ie she wasn't allowed to come to my house when my husband was here...???!!!)
Thankfully that distructive relationship has ended and our friendship has blossomed greatly in so many ways since (love ya babe I get the whole insecurity thing but seriously I think it just reeks of distrust and jealousy and it's a shame your friend is allowing this to happen (anyone remember a little thing called 'hard limit'???) I admire your view to stand by him. I did that too and things worked out. Like someone else has said, it probably wont last. Big hugs xxx |
) and I think any form of restiction like this is dangerous and unfair. If the relationships fails the submissive could easily be left alone with no friends...right when they need them!