Let it go (3)

Posted by LadyLibidienne on Mon 23 Jan 12, 12:28 AM to LadyLibidienne's blog.

In my 12 years in the scene i have had a few BDSM relationship. When they have broken up I have always tried to remain friends with 2 exceptions. The first one was an online relationship very early on and don't even know if he is still in the scene and the second was my choice to break up and my choice not to keep in touch. However as far as I am concerned it is over and forgotten.

So why do people keep having to relive old relationships and imagine things that are happening that are not. Do they feel the need to keep punishing the one who left them. Is it the "if I can't have you I will make your life hell by making veiled accusations?"

In order to move on you have to leave the negative behind and I have proved that as heartbreaking as it is at the time you can forgive and move on with your life and yes even stay friends. But if you or the other party don't want to stay friends then let go and move on with your life. you will be much happier in the end.

Replies

23 Jan 12, 7:49 AM
GoddessRose
UK(EN), 6 yrs

I agree with that statement. It is diffecult sometimes to move on if your heart has been broken but, it is the best thing to do. To stay friends is a tad more diffecult but can be done, if you can forgive the person involved.

Moving on is so much better than staying bitter, because it can only make your own life a misery.

GoddessRose.

23 Jan 12, 9:31 AM
MissMorrigan
UK(BN), 7 yrs

Moving on requires processing that pain instead of holding onto it. When a person is in a great deal of emotional anguish it's difficult to see past that and if they can't they do need to accept that they require professional help or they'll cling to their bitterness like a life-raft and it will taint absolutely every relationship they seek thereafter. Recognising the five stages of grief helps and that there will be relapses until finally they can move forward positively. It also helps to understand that a relationship is never one-sided and we can only be responsible for our own actions.

The tooth fairy teaches kids to sell body parts for money ~ David Richerby

23 Jan 12, 9:54 AM
angellover
UK(CM), 3 yrs

MissMorrigan wrote:
Moving on requires processing that pain instead of holding onto it. When a person is in a great deal of emotional anguish it's difficult to see past that and if they can't they do need to accept that they require professional help or they'll cling to their bitterness like a life-raft and it will taint absolutely every relationship they seek thereafter. Recognising the five stages of grief helps and that there will be relapses until finally they can move forward positively. It also helps to understand that a relationship is never one-sided and we can only be responsible for our own actions.

I agree with MissMorrigan above.

Some people take longer than others to accept and move on.

Ann I wish you well and that they come to terms with the situtation they find themselves in.

The highest fences we have to climb, are those we have built within our mind