This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| Thu 19 Jan 12, 10:28 PM DoctorStrict UK(BS), 4 mths  |
This is 2 questions really. Do you think everyone could be found on a scale between sub - Dom in the same way that people are somewhere beteeen gay / straight? Does the analogy work? If so does it then follow that a 'switch' i analagous to a 'bisexual'? As for fetishes, if the definition of a fetish is the necessary requirement of an object / scenario for sexual gratification then do my fetishes for legs, bottoms, vaginas and pretty faces make me a fetishist. Does that make me normal? | ||
| 19 Jan 12, 11:00 PM Tanos  UK(M), 14 yrs   |
I don't think all these variations of the Kinsey scale idea (where people are put somewhere on a line with 100% homosexual and 100% heterosexual at opposite ends) are a good way of looking at it. They assume people only have so much attraction to "spend" and if you're more attracted to A you're less attracted to B. I think it's better to look at them as separate interests / attractions / orientations as that allows people different levels of intensity, and accommodates a much broader range of sexualities. So you could have someone who isn't that attracted to men or to women as men or women, but is insanely attracted to anyone wearing rubber. Or you could have a bisexual who is every bit as attracted to men or women as people only attracted to one. It also includes asexuals. The same argument goes for dominance and submission. It's begging the question to say D/s-switches are not as dominant as non-submissive dominants, and not as submissive as non-dominant submissives. :T: www.tanos.org.uk | ||
| 19 Jan 12, 11:42 PM stillwondering UK(CH), 14 mths |
Or to put it another way - everyone is individual, and most of us change from time to time, and over time. Attempts to pigeonhole a person, benchmark them against others, or define them by their position on a scale, usually fail. Viewing them as an individual works, though. | ||
| 19 Jan 12, 11:53 PM Ianneil UK(N), 5 yrs  |
Everybody is on a scale betwex dom & sub.....if you or anyone else knows where that is or if it matters may be more to the point. As with the gay/straight thing why is there any feeling of a need to define it. Does it matter? Do you get cheaper car insurance declaring you are a lesbian? Why are you bothered if you are normal? | ||
| 19 Jan 12, 11:53 PM IrrepressibleSoul UK(OX), 24 mths  |
I struggle to see how someone can be on a sliding scale of homosexual to heterosexual......with bisexual in the middle presumably Can you be a little bit gay? 12.7% gay? doesnt quite work for me. They seem like distinct entities to me - that said, clearly someone who is bisexual might have a bit more of a scale, in terms of of a preference to one sex or another. as regards Dom/sub......one scale alone might be a bit too basic to describe it. I do think that everyone has a natural tendancy to one or the other.......but that doesnt take into account that a Dom might only be able to dominate 10% of those with a tendancy to submission (presuming they want to submit to that Dom of course...)........or that a sub might only submit to a very very few Doms equally. or that its entirely possible, and common in fact, to have partnerships (more apparent in a 'vanilla' sense) between two people with a tendancy towards a Dom characteristic, or the opposite.....within that partnership though - someone will always have the lead, even if by a small percentage only
Tathagata Buddha, the Father Buddha said "with our thoughts, we make the world"......well I bet he never had to build a flippin' shed! | ||
| 20 Jan 12, 1:10 AM Romola UK, 7 yrs |
There are definitely people who are neither sexually dominant or submissive. I know, I don't get it either, but they are definitely out there and I've slept with at least one. It's only a weblog | ||
| 20 Jan 12, 8:39 AM Conto UK, 11 yrs |
Would you be surprised if they were in here too? The word BSDM is designed to include them, and (with very minor qualifications) that's where I am. Edited 20 Jan 12, 10:08 PM by Conto | ||
| 20 Jan 12, 8:47 AM Tanos UK(M), 14 yrs |
What about people with no interest in either dominance or submission? Another one dimensional statement is that everyone is on a scale between gay and straight but as I pointed out that ignores asexuals. The world is just more complicated than these 1D scales. :T:
www.tanos.org.uk | ||
| 20 Jan 12, 9:57 AM Ianneil UK(N), 5 yrs |
I meant that in a wider generality of life in all our interactions with others we express some form of dominance, submissiveness or neutrality thus being somewhere on that scale in that moment. Not that that moment defines or limits us. I agree 1D scales are a massive oversimplification and can be very limiting.
| ||
| 20 Jan 12, 10:26 AM valleyrose17 UK(BS), 2 yrs |
YES!
"Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed" Michael Pritchard | ||
| 20 Jan 12, 10:13 PM Conto UK, 11 yrs |
|
