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| trillium |
on Thu 19 Jan 12, 5:50 PM to trillium's blog.
As a human, to me it seems that, how an action is explained is more weight bearing then the action it's self.
Yet often I wonder; when I drop into fantasy are the best bits simply a break down and recombination of acts I've have already experienced.
I have a number of fantasies differing from day to day. I've tried a lot from the list of BDSM activities but the obvious acts are just desires way of pointing one in a possible direction to feed its self. It is the more suttle acts and absence of acts in which desire is really fed.
To snort up a line, of pheromones, and then to relate that with an experience of which the interpretation influenced by actions leading up to that experience can graft a glade of meaning, purpose. A sense of having a short absence in visiting this glade fires desire but prolonged absence protrudes a spike of throes into the heart.
Do I find a negative experience often becomes positive and even desirable in reflection? Yes, but it only becomes desirable if 'correctly' linked to a person or pheromone.
Does talking about and explaining things confuse me and make me wish I'd kept my mouth shut? Yes most definitely.
Then why do I speak? I want to belong.
But doesn't my talking conflict and prevent me from feeling that I belong? Yes
Then why? I don't have a clue...
"waggles tail, sniffs feet, gets petted, folds back ears, licks owners... wakes up, tucks tail between legs and searches frantically for said dreamt owners"
