Pain Play for Beginners (11)

Thanks

Edited Wed 18 Jan 12, 3:14 AM by ssnappy

Nevertheless I will do as you have requested and memo my ideas to you.

http://www.freakclubwear.co.uk/store/index.php?m...

Vicky of Freak Clubwear

Freak is 8 years old as a full time fetish business. FREE online BDSM instructional videos on our site. www.freakclubwear.co.uk See us at the LFF and BBB every month and Erotica in November.

You need to think about impliments, if you want to use them or not, remember that different things can be used differently. Some bottoms/subs etc find they develop an aversion to different toys normally because of bad experience so starting slow and soft is always the way to go, make sure that you are constantly checking.

One of the best methods I have had was a hand holding technique. The dominant one has told me to squeeze his hand when he holds mine. He then used that to analyse how I was processing the pain, little to no squeezing back meant I was either encouraging more pain or was spacing, hard squeezing meant it was too much, though of course you can develop your own system, the hand holding thing gives a lovely closeness though so I would recommend something like that if not to guage feeling just to add a connection which can be missing if you are standing further back using a toy.

Mixing it up can prolong a scene, so not just hitting with the same toy, mix in rubbing kissing suede leather fur etc remember that pain often wakes up the skin and the senses making it sensitive to different textures.

I also do think safewords or whatever you decide is important, she needs to know you will stop if she needs it to.

You also need to think about bondange, personally if I get on a spanking bench I am anybodies, it triggers a strange reaction in me, like meditating only better. If I am just bent over a bed or whatever I dont get into that mind frame and find that the ability to move away from the impact ruins the experience for me. I am not saying go out and spend a fortune on a bench (my lovely man spent weeks making me one) but playing around with restraint is a good idea.

Also a recomendation I make is find something you know she likes that can change her mind set, it could be a massage before hand or the promise of a special dinner or whatever. For me its exhibitionism, put me in a room of people and the way I experience pain is totally different I love it with a passion. So it may be she loves wearing latex or a specific bra, maybe its sensory deprivation, whatever add it into your pain play and she may find it a lot easier to process that pain as part of a postive thing.

If you are wanting pain to be a positive thing, I recomend avoiding it as a punishment thing, some people love that however so it depends on your dynamic, often though the funishment element comes with people who identify with terms like brat or masochist who enjoy their pain to have meaning, if the punishment is serious, as in you are wanting her to feel remorseful or whatever then don't use pain. Honestly this is from my own experience, I am not a masochist and once a dominant hit me 10 times, hard, with a cane to punish me, fine but it meant I never saw a cane as anything other than a negative thing when I was with him.

Most of all, really important this, have fun.

Cheers,

Ssnappy

Oh you will, will u? Remember where I bit you the other day? I can always bite harder! :P

...Sweetheart

*giggles*

Molly x

ssnappy wrote: And remember what you HATED the thought of me gagging you with? You just guaranteed it Dolly_Molly wrote: ssnappy wrote: ...I can always remove Molly's IC privileges for a week or so if I really need to..... Oh you will, will u? Remember where I bit you the other day? I can always bite harder! :P ...Sweetheart *giggles*

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Molly x

On behalf of @Dolly_Molly and myself I would like to thank you for taking the time to give us such detailed and useful feedback. I apologise if you feel as though your contribution was unappreciated, this is certainly not the case and neither myself or @Dolly_Molly meant to come across as being rude.

Although I did politely thank all those who responded to us both on the board and via memos I can see how, as publicly it seems you were the main contributor to the post, you feel entitled to a personal and public thanks, however, I could not have know this was your expectation and I assure you no harm was intended.

Once again, apologies, and thank you so much for your helpful post.

Ssnappy

ETA personal thanks are not expected on these boards or anything like that I was just being petulant.

Edited 21 Jan 12, 11:27 AM by Souci_X