Initiative - an example (48)

Thank you for the ideas

Best

a

Space travels in my blood. And there ain't nothing I can do about it.
I know I'm being used, that's okay cause I like the abuse.
I can resist everything except temptation.
It's always funny until someone gets hurt and then it's just hilarious.
Cake or Death?
Life can be beautiful - Joe Gillis

Some subs would give their right hand (well may be not but you understand the drift) to be in a position to hear a mistress say that they would like a bath and then be able to draw it properly for them as you describe. Yet I suspect that it is very difficult to keep that level of dedication going day in day out especially if you have had a hard day at work yourself.

It is the very simple NOT having to say things which is so important to me. I am really lucky in that both rogerow and M376M know how to do it. I will use M376M as an example, because I see more of him, and....

You know, for all I tease M376M unmercifully on the boards and talk about him like a piece of meat, anyone who knows us knows I adore him. Because:

It took me jokingly making a fetish on FL called "cheese & crackers after play" and the next time we met, he had a small cheeseboard and crackers. After 2 years, he doesn't always have them, but often does.

We bought sunflower seeds on holiday and one of the recent times we met he had a bag for me.

He often brings me little presents, nothing massive, but stuff like a little karabiner with a torch in it. How cool is that. Ok, I don't think I will wear that "COCK" scrabble tile button, but it is really funny.

The point isn't the presents. The point is that he remembers what I say just in little conversations. He pays attention to my preferences and likes and dislikes.

He stalks my posts. In one I mentioned I hadn't read or didn't remember Neuromancer (the author specifically). The next visit, he had his copy of Neuromancer to loan to me (and later a copy I could keep, as his had sentimental value).

He does his real best to please me. Maybe it is because I don't really EXPECT it and am really seriously impressed and delighted with every little thing he does, no matter how small. Maybe it is because I know he is a switch and independant and really not service oriented that I know how much thought really goes into it.

On the contrary, you get the guys who promise the world, then after the initial chase is over totally loses interest, or can't even seem to think of anything to talk about, much less anything nice to surprise you with, however small.

Maybe, though, one of the big factors is communications. They can't know how much we value things unless we communicate. I think it needs to be communicating in a good way, too - natural conversation where a person can say, "I loved it when you did that" so they know they are appreciated.

Not saying you don't, Chartreuse, just observing that some of the guys I talk to don't really seem to want to converse that much. =-$

ETA: rereading it, it sounds like it is about the little gifts, when it's not. We don't live together, so the bath being run stuff only happens on the Turkey road trips. (I'm not going to waste HURTING time with him taking a long bath. LOL) So, really, it is about him remembering my likes and showing me he remembers.

xx

AND ETA: Some have said they don't even really feel they could compare (compete) with the boys, but, actually, I don't think it is THAT difficult to remember that someone said they liked something if they are really listening. I personally think it comes down to whether or not they can be arsed. One thing is for sure - if they can't, I sure can't either. LOL

@Play_Space - Next party is Friday, February 3, 2012 and the first Friday of every month!
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Edited 17 Jan 12, 10:12 PM by Ama_Sidero

Most of us work and EVEN women have a hard day!

Sometimes I don't mention that I will be having a bath, I just get on and have one.

Some people say they love to serve and do it well... others say they love to serve but only serve when the mood takes them.

That initial passion and desire is much of what attracts... the loss of that initial passion and desire is much of the reason why an attraction may be lost - if it can't be maintained don't start it.

I don't spend 24/7 with anyone... a submissive should not find anything difficult/an effort when spending some time with me - it's not difficult/an effort for me, as a dominant, to make a willing submissive feel appreciated.

"As ye sow, so shall ye reap" - a sub will reap what he sows... if he sows the seed too thinly he will reap very little in return. (The same can be said for the dominant but, correct me if I am wrong, I always thought it was the role of the submissive to please.)

@The_Coven / @The_Problem_Page / I want the "Moon on a stick and the Stars suspended from bunting". / So many haystacks, so few needles! / Any man can be what a woman wants him to be, if he wants to be with her... relinquish the power to her and let her lead the way.

In any case i like a woman who lights her own candles

Happiness is a warm bum

Edited 17 Jan 12, 10:45 PM by tanken

tanken wrote: You need a Butler In any case i like a woman who lights her own candles

Some chaps would quite like to provide butler service to a Lady who appreciates it.

"Wisdom begins in wonder” (Socrates)
"Imagination is more important than knowledge" (Albert Einstein)
Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est. http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/226772/

Scoring an own goal is such a tragic waste of talent... and the scorer may find himself on the losing team.

So much of what you have written makes sense to me... Yes, it's the simple things - like remembering the little things said in everyday conversation. Remembering them and doing something about it can make it abundantly clear that you are special to someone...

D'you know, there are times when a submissive mentions things he likes, too - I make a mental note and remember to treat him with that "something" he's mentioned in passing. I also get pleasure from giving.

(I also say "I loved it when you did..." if/when I am pleased. Praise goes a long way but sometimes not far enough.)

@The_Coven / @The_Problem_Page / I want the "Moon on a stick and the Stars suspended from bunting". / So many haystacks, so few needles! / Any man can be what a woman wants him to be, if he wants to be with her... relinquish the power to her and let her lead the way.

tanken wrote: You need a Butler In any case i like a woman who lights her own candles

@The_Coven / @The_Problem_Page / I want the "Moon on a stick and the Stars suspended from bunting". / So many haystacks, so few needles! / Any man can be what a woman wants him to be, if he wants to be with her... relinquish the power to her and let her lead the way.

@The_Coven / @The_Problem_Page / I want the "Moon on a stick and the Stars suspended from bunting". / So many haystacks, so few needles! / Any man can be what a woman wants him to be, if he wants to be with her... relinquish the power to her and let her lead the way.

Not sure how much this scenario says about submission. It could happen between a couple in no way explicitly interested in domination or submission (ie in simple language a vanilla couple).