Posted by rose_in_chains on Mon 16 Jan 12, 10:31 PM to rose_in_chains's blog.
A very strange thing happened to me the other night when I was playing with my FwB (friend with benefits). He's my friend, we sometimes hook up for dinner, flirting, and lately kinky sex. We started out teasingly using the word 'Sir', which he likes, and when we play me calling him his actual name has become the safe word. Despite only really ever playing with me on a few occasions he's become quite the brutal sadist, and there have been times when I've had to use it... I've learnt that fighting him isn't a good idea, he's much stronger, and ruthless with his revenge (see other blog on consensual non consent).
But last time we played, I called him Daddy, it just came out, and it felt really natural. For me, this is really very strange. I've never understood the Daddy Dom/little girl dynamic, everything I've read on the subject has made me more sure that it's not for me. And whilst we kind of play with the Dom/sub, Sadist/masochist dynamics, what we're doing is really just kinky sex and not the kind of hardcore play scenes I've enjoyed with others (although, I would describe what we do as quite hardcore, again see the other blog on consensual non consent...). He's not 'scene', he's not part of this world where we discuss all the terminology and I didn't know what he'd make of it – as it happens, he just shrugged his shoulders in his very debonair French style (well, he is French) and said I could call him whatever I wanted...
But Daddy? Some might say I've got a bit of a Daddy complex (well, some have). Certainly, I've dated and played with my share of the older man... My own father is a bit reclusive and emotionally distant, but I don't think I've been trying to replace that in any way, I just think I fancy older men. But my FwB is younger than me (and I definitely fancy him too, I'm not ageist at all!), not significantly, but by 7 years. And I called him Daddy.
Not really sure what to make of it, or if I should be making anything of it. Strange thing, this kink thing.
| 16 Jan 12, 10:48 PM skadii UK(W), 5 yrs  |
You don't have to be playing with an ageplay-style Daddy Dom / little girl dynamic to have a Daddy. Daddies in American gay culture can just be older, slightly debonair men (like the term sugar daddy for a heterosexual relationship but without the accompanying gold-digging inference), and can be more about experience than chronological age. I don't necessarily see why a younger person shouldn't make a perfectly good Daddy, and having a Daddy doesn't automatically cast you as a little girl.
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| 16 Jan 12, 10:55 PM rose_in_chains UK(W), 4 yrs |
I need a 'like' button. Phew! That helps, thank you Twitterati? I'm emilyrose_uk - see you there? | |
| 16 Jan 12, 11:05 PM pleasureswitch UK(E), 6 yrs  |
This is a well meanin guess. He fulfills a deep emotional need in you. This came to the surface the other day when you were in a highly charged/emotional state of mind. A father figure can be a really nice thing to have in a persons life,(lovin carin thinkin about a person) they don't have to be a/your father or even older IMO "Yeah I like Kinky stuff,dirty dark pervy stuff,weird sex....
An' Yerself ?" | |
| 17 Jan 12, 7:50 PM rose_in_chains UK(W), 4 yrs |
Hmmm. Yes, you're probably right, a deep emotional need which surfaced when in a highly charged emotional state. Which does not mean I'm falling for him, not at all, no, never. Twitterati? I'm emilyrose_uk - see you there? | |
| 17 Jan 12, 10:33 PM pleasureswitch UK(E), 6 yrs |
If not Daddies Sauce, whats wrong wit a little fresh French Relish ?
D-lish "Yeah I like Kinky stuff,dirty dark pervy stuff,weird sex....
An' Yerself ?" |
