17 Jan 12, 2:42 PM
Freetime28
UK(BS), 10 yrs
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Answer to the question is simple.
WHY NOT! |
17 Jan 12, 8:38 PM
bluemagic
UK(RM), 7 mths |
NightFox wrote:
bluemagic wrote:
Well, to put in my 'two penn'eth' - for what that's worth (prob less than 2p - lol!): I would say - read my post on the thread 'Is It Normal?' .. where I argue strongly that 'there is no such thing as normal' (see the post!).
Maybe this does not help you with your 'theatre' project (as I believe you said it was?); I don't know ... but I would say that pretty much everyone has some sort of 'fetish', though it may not necessarily always be sexual or quasi-sexual and, of course, as I have argued on that post, most people don't care to talk about it; many will not even admit that their little 'quirks' and 'rituals' are fetishes at all - but they are, imo. This is one reason why I do not much care for the term 'vanilla' - which, in any case it seems to me, is far too vague, imprecise, willy nilly and utterly diluted, even to the point of almost meaninglessness sometimes, in its so widespread use here. However, that is merely my opinion.
If we are all ice cream (to draw on the metaphor from which the term apparently comes, I believe?) then most of us, in very truth, are actually of a range of different 'flavours', according to which 'register' of our lives (to borrow a semanticists' and sociologists' term a little here, if I may) we find ourselves in. How 'vanilla' or 'flavoured' (or 'kinky', if you prefer) we allow ourselves to be, or to be seen to be, will depend on where we are, and with whom. Only in what we take to be a 'safe' community and/or with like-minded people, or esp with playmates and partners (provided we feel we can be sure that we have the same sort of 'fetishes' in common, of course) do even we, I think, take off the supposed 'vanilla' mask completely - and even so, there may be odd occasions when we didn't get it right (in terms of what we both really wanted?) - but that, of course, can and does happen all the time in all human relationships, anyway. Do you not think so?
As I have argued on that thread, 'average Joe' or 'average Josephine' are probably, in reality, a fiction anyway (with their, equally fictitious 'two point four' children as well, of course; no doubt - lol!) - and at best a suit of acceptable 'respectability' (for want of a better term) which we all find it expedient to wear in certain circumstances and in certain (but not usually all) companies.
As to the 'ethical and moral' ramifications? Well, as I've also argued on that thread, so long as we are not actually doing anything illegal - or destructive of families and societies ... well, read my little anecdote there from the late life of Freud - and no, there's no 'pschyo-spiel' at all in my post - promise!!
- bluemagic
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I had to lie down for a while after reading this.
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I hope you are now fully recovered - lol!!!
- bluemagic
"When the bottom falls out of your world -
Take 'Andrew's' (liver salts) and, instead ...
Let the world fall out of your bottom. "
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26 Jan 12, 3:15 PM
Buceph
UK(SE), 15 mths
|
Hello all (again)
In case anyone sees this, just to say thanks for the responses. A lot of the questions raised (e.g. the question of normality) and answers posed I've already come across - and will likely hold a central point in my thesis if I get the go-ahead. Some ideas took me off-guard, for which I am mostv grateful, although whether they'll end up contributing towards the theatre is another question entirely.
Anyway, much obliged everyone, and until the next time,
Buceph |
27 Jan 12, 1:49 AM
bluemagic
UK(RM), 7 mths |
Buceph wrote:
Hello all (again)
In case anyone sees this, just to say thanks for the responses. A lot of the questions raised (e.g. the question of normality) and answers posed I've already come across - and will likely hold a central point in my thesis if I get the go-ahead. Some ideas took me off-guard, for which I am mostv grateful, although whether they'll end up contributing towards the theatre is another question entirely.
Anyway, much obliged everyone, and until the next time,
Buceph
|
... YW Buceph. Good luck with the project 
- bluemagic
"When the bottom falls out of your world -
Take 'Andrew's' (liver salts) and, instead ...
Let the world fall out of your bottom. "
|
27 Jan 12, 2:24 AM
Rara_Avis
UK(W), 6 yrs
|
IMHO:
It's surely agreed as fact that the brain works by association; we're associative creatures. Early formative and childhood experiences can, typically (but not exclusively) form and inform our desires in later life (especially when coupled with the hormones concomitant with pre and post-pubescent maturation). There's echelons of material about this. Suffice to say, the younger the person, the greater the brain's plasticity = the more likely it's likely to be etched in our synapses and systematic reflexes, and thus they become REAL.
It's also possible that those with a 'genetic' per-disposition might be more receptive; potentially making it more likely that certain people might lean towards a fetish, where others with (theoretically) the same/ similar experience, might experience no effect - or even distaste.
The same is true for psychopathy - the hair-trigger is in many, but activated in few (of course, of a radically different spectrum; and incidentally, something well discovered in a recent BBC Horizon documentary).
For the layman: the subconscious plays a pivotal part in this (as it does, our internal "kinks"), and if one really wants to delve into their fetish (say, it's one they're perhaps not comfortable with, or simply wish to explore internally) hypnosis and CBT (that's Cognitive Behavior Therapy, folks!) is an option. But of course, they're only options for those who feel they're in need of such.
That many nurture, enjoy and gain pleasure out of fetishes (and by association culturally, qualified by the similar interests of peers and the permission that's it's "OK!", or more, to be 'celebrated' (a whole chapter on the Hive Mind on this spring to mind) may serve to amplify and accentuate their meaning and importance (the associative cycle?) and thus, we hold on to them dearly.
After all, the majority of fetishes are 'sexy' (to the beholder) and they inform our sexual leanings and they become crux.
I'm not a qualified in this area (although I do I have a degree in it and have taken a serious interest in it throughout my life) ... but I'd also wager that some fetishes are also 'coping' mechanisms from traumatic experiences in early/ middle childhood; although these usually manifest (again, not always!) in less desirable, and more manifestly controlling ways, and in many instances, cross over into OCD, etc.
I sometimes think the more 'extreme' (said without ANY judgement) the fetish, the more entrenched in childhood.
I speak without qualification or experiential wisdom, save for a few 'kinks' Feel free to disagree! Edited 27 Jan 12, 2:46 AM by Rara_Avis
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2 Feb 12, 2:29 AM
Black0rchid
UK, 2 yrs
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Buceph wrote:
Why do people have fetishes?
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So I don't have to do the housework of course.
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2 Feb 12, 2:32 AM
Black0rchid
UK, 2 yrs
|
Rara_Avis wrote:
IMHO:
It's surely agreed as fact that the brain works by association; we're associative creatures. Early formative and childhood experiences can, typically (but not exclusively) form and inform our desires in later life (especially when coupled with the hormones concomitant with pre and post-pubescent maturation). There's echelons of material about this. Suffice to say, the younger the person, the greater the brain's plasticity = the more likely it's likely to be etched in our synapses and systematic reflexes, and thus they become REAL.
It's also possible that those with a 'genetic' per-disposition might be more receptive; potentially making it more likely that certain people might lean towards a fetish, where others with (theoretically) the same/ similar experience, might experience no effect - or even distaste.
The same is true for psychopathy - the hair-trigger is in many, but activated in few (of course, of a radically different spectrum; and incidentally, something well discovered in a recent BBC Horizon documentary).
For the layman: the subconscious plays a pivotal part in this (as it does, our internal "kinks"), and if one really wants to delve into their fetish (say, it's one they're perhaps not comfortable with, or simply wish to explore internally) hypnosis and CBT (that's Cognitive Behavior Therapy, folks!) is an option. But of course, they're only options for those who feel they're in need of such.
That many nurture, enjoy and gain pleasure out of fetishes (and by association culturally, qualified by the similar interests of peers and the permission that's it's "OK!", or more, to be 'celebrated' (a whole chapter on the Hive Mind on this spring to mind) may serve to amplify and accentuate their meaning and importance (the associative cycle?) and thus, we hold on to them dearly.
After all, the majority of fetishes are 'sexy' (to the beholder) and they inform our sexual leanings and they become crux.
I'm not a qualified in this area (although I do I have a degree in it and have taken a serious interest in it throughout my life) ... but I'd also wager that some fetishes are also 'coping' mechanisms from traumatic experiences in early/ middle childhood; although these usually manifest (again, not always!) in less desirable, and more manifestly controlling ways, and in many instances, cross over into OCD, etc.
I sometimes think the more 'extreme' (said without ANY judgement) the fetish, the more entrenched in childhood.
I speak without qualification or ... wisdom
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I made notes as I was going along, only to find at the end the poster was speaking without qualification or wisdom.
I probably can't use this as a source now.
Edited 2 Feb 12, 2:33 AM by Black0rchid
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3 Feb 12, 9:37 PM
bluemagic
UK(RM), 7 mths |
Rara_Avis wrote:
IMHO:
It's surely agreed as fact that the brain works by association; we're associative creatures. Early formative and childhood experiences can, typically (but not exclusively) form and inform our desires in later life (especially when coupled with the hormones concomitant with pre and post-pubescent maturation). There's echelons of material about this. Suffice to say, the younger the person, the greater the brain's plasticity = the more likely it's likely to be etched in our synapses and systematic reflexes, and thus they become REAL.
It's also possible that those with a 'genetic' per-disposition might be more receptive; potentially making it more likely that certain people might lean towards a fetish, where others with (theoretically) the same/ similar experience, might experience no effect - or even distaste.
The same is true for psychopathy - the hair-trigger is in many, but activated in few (of course, of a radically different spectrum; and incidentally, something well discovered in a recent BBC Horizon documentary).
For the layman: the subconscious plays a pivotal part in this (as it does, our internal "kinks"), and if one really wants to delve into their fetish (say, it's one they're perhaps not comfortable with, or simply wish to explore internally) hypnosis and CBT (that's Cognitive Behavior Therapy, folks!) is an option. But of course, they're only options for those who feel they're in need of such.
That many nurture, enjoy and gain pleasure out of fetishes (and by association culturally, qualified by the similar interests of peers and the permission that's it's "OK!", or more, to be 'celebrated' (a whole chapter on the Hive Mind on this spring to mind) may serve to amplify and accentuate their meaning and importance (the associative cycle?) and thus, we hold on to them dearly.
After all, the majority of fetishes are 'sexy' (to the beholder) and they inform our sexual leanings and they become crux.
I'm not a qualified in this area (although I do I have a degree in it and have taken a serious interest in it throughout my life) ... but I'd also wager that some fetishes are also 'coping' mechanisms from traumatic experiences in early/ middle childhood; although these usually manifest (again, not always!) in less desirable, and more manifestly controlling ways, and in many instances, cross over into OCD, etc.
I sometimes think the more 'extreme' (said without ANY judgement) the fetish, the more entrenched in childhood.
I speak without qualification or experiential wisdom, save for a few 'kinks' Feel free to disagree!
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I can meaningfully neither agree nor disagree, as it seems unclear (to me, anyway) quite what point or points you are making here. Would you care to clarify?
- bluemagic
"When the bottom falls out of your world -
Take 'Andrew's' (liver salts) and, instead ...
Let the world fall out of your bottom. "
|
3 Feb 12, 10:30 PM
NightFox
UK(CV), 3 yrs
|
Why do some people like stilton cheese ?
NF |
3 Feb 12, 11:04 PM
Heliumscream
UK, 6 yrs
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I had a children's bible when i was about six. It was full of illustrations including a couple of them depicting egyptians with large whips flogging slaves who were working. I was drawn to it constantly and kind of turned on by it.
Then at eight watching land of the giants i remember the one where the little person was caged in the doll house by a little girl, that absolutely fascinated me.
I have always been turned on by being a slave, well before I was sexually active or even knew there was a kink.
Why? No idea sorry. The map is not the territory
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