| 12 Jan 12, 8:46 PM stargazer100 UK(KT), 4 mths  |
Sorry to hear about your luck with certain men to date. Yes, possibly most men can be scum bags although a fair percentage aren't. Statistically most of the good men are in committed long term relationships, yes they still exist. The male players who cheat on partners fall in the scum bag group, however despite this their are still some good ones about. Albeit they may be difficult to find. There is unfortunately no guaranteed place where to look and find one. So brush yourself down, put your gladrags on and keep up the search - your luck has to change sometime! | ||
| 12 Jan 12, 9:37 PM bossy_bitch UK, 3 yrs |
Yes, it's true - not all men, or women, are the same...but if I had a tenner for every time I've exclaimed 'Fucking men!' - I'd not have to work for a living. Likewise, I'm pretty sure that most men have said "Fucking women!" just as often. We all have relationship bollocks from time to time - some of us more often than others. Rant all you like and good luck with the date. | ||
| 13 Jan 12, 1:03 AM Unholy_One UK, 5 mths  |
I have no idea of the circumstances of the breakup of your previous relationship, but you come across as being very bitter & jaded.
Married men looking for a 'bit on the side' are generally just cheating scumbags who are not interested in conversation and are just looking for casual kinky sex that they cannot get at home. That's nothing to do with being an "Honourable Trustworthy Dom". Men who dont possess the natural dominance to make their own marriage work will often use the BDSM scene to seek out a gullible subbie to get their kinky kicks with. It never ends well, even when the subbie proclaims what a fantastic UberDom he is and what a deep level of trust & commitment they share, the fact is the man is still just cheating on his wife with a bit on the side because he has no commitment to his own wife and cant get her to fulfill his needs.
If you have a habit of attracting (or seeking) these types of married scumbags who only want a convenient 'kinky bit on the side', then perhaps it may be time to take a time-out and a period of reflection to take stock of what you are actually projecting. If you want kinky sex then advertise on a kinky sex website - If you want a companion and vanilla conversation then join a social club.
Edited 13 Jan 12, 1:40 AM by Unholy_One | ||
| 13 Jan 12, 9:15 AM alexandraa UK(NW), 8 yrs |
Hahhaha he was nice but not in the slightest bit sexual.... seems it's an either or situation, conversation or sex, not both from the same source. Choices choices....
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| 13 Jan 12, 10:45 AM Shypeachybottom UK, 20 mths |
Slightly to my surprise I find that I have to react to the above. While I cannot stand cheating, I think the above - especially "Men who dont possess the natural dominance to make their own marriage work will often use the BDSM scene to seek out a gullible subbie to get their kinky kicks with." and "the fact is the man is still just cheating on his wife with a bit on the side because he .. cant get her to fulfill his needs" is really oversimplistic. There can be many reasons people get married, why marriages don't work and why people stay married even though the relationship may no longer be working (like children and finances). There are quite a few people on IC who are married to vanillas and who play on the side and some have ongoing successful D/s relationships in parallel to their mariages. I am uncomfortable when a married dom is unfaithful to his wife without her knowing - but, and this is a big but - you simply cannot judge every relationship by the same yardstick, and often marriages occur at a point in time when people's D/s side hasn't yet developed enough to realise that a vanilla mariage will not fulfill all of their future needs. For me I would like a dom who can fully commit to me and with whom I can be in an exclusive and monogamous long-term relationship with. So long term, a relationship with a married man would not fulfill all of my needs. But that doesn't mean it might not work for someone else, and it doesn't mean it might not fulfill some needs. It also doesn't mean that there might not be very valid reasons for that married dom having a relationship outside his marriage, without his intention being to hurt his prospectie submissive/play-mate as you seem to suggest. Your post shows that you have had at least one bad experience, but that doesn't mean that everyone should be tarred with the same brush. There's a somebody I'm longing to see, I hope that he turns out to be, someone to watch over me | ||
| 13 Jan 12, 5:23 PM MissKimberley NL, 8 yrs    |
You seem a little bitter, frustrated and disillusioned. Not exactly the sort of woman a nice chap would be looking for. Maybe give up on the man thing for a while until you're in a happier place? I tend to find that I meet the best men when I'm feeling happy without them in my life  “During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act” - George Orwell | ||
| 15 Jan 12, 5:55 PM Big_Friendly_Giant UK(RM), 9 yrs |
Purhaps you need to take some time out before jumping back. I've bee on the scene a few years and have twice taken a step back when I have become disalusioned. Edited 15 Jan 12, 6:05 PM by Big_Friendly_Giant | ||
| 17 Jan 12, 8:58 PM HerMastersChoice UK(B), 8 yrs |
It's your own fault for being so attractive! I thought you understood the biology of blood flow? It cant go in two different directions at once. Either up to the brain to aid making conversation or down to sustain the hard on. :o) | ||
| 21 Jan 12, 9:25 AM alexandraa UK(NW), 8 yrs |
Hey HMC darling!! Long long LONG time no see and Hahaha you are so right and continued dates with men have proven the very same.... It appears to be we talk about sex or the state of the Euro. One or the other. I live in hope....
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