Have you met a Master who is just a wanker? (70)

What happened to being "open-minded"? Isn't it all very intolerant, and judgemental for someone else to label others as wankers because they don't happen to "get it"?

Perhaps that type of dynamic might be what some subs want & enjoy? The feeling of being used, treated like a slut & whore by the Dom who is not concerned about her comfort or enjoyment? Who are we to judge?

I wonder how you would feel about someone making ill-informed judgements about you, merely based upon your profile?

Matthew 7:1 "JUDGE NOT, LEST YE BE JUDGED"

Edited 12 Jan 12, 3:35 AM by Unholy_One

No, it doesn't give the 'wrong' impression. Who decides what is 'right' or 'wrong' about how any person, dominant or submissive behaves outside of bdsm play. A munch is just a social gathering and as such may be equally intimidating for anyone, regardless of how dominant they are in a scene.

I don't know what kind of impression you think all dominants have to make but to ask to be welcomed in and introduced is not either 'too nervous to walk into a pub' or anything else negative. It is just that some of us are not such social or extrovert people as others. They may not NEED the 'Meet and Greet" but find it more comfortable to use the service if it is there.

It appear incongruous that I can PD confidently for thirteen years and meet new subs on a weekly basis with no fear and love that visceral thrill of the unknown yet at the same time be shy of meeting new people in a pub. However, I don't consider my feelings 'wrong', just a sign that I am a person with different sides to my character.

Dominant partner in an FLR with @paulss

Edited 12 Jan 12, 8:27 AM by Ms_Valentine

We have all been there once and any Master Mistress or sub that is not at least a little nervous first time that would make me wonder, surely the idea of a munch is just that to greet meet and welcome the less experienced and nervous into the fold. There was a time when all of us had never played with someone,

I don't think it is anywhere as simple as that.

A lot of what you say may sound sensible in the non bdsm world but within bdsm many assumptions like "relationships have to be two way, there has to be a connection" and 'Sex should be a pleasurable experience for both parties" are not so true.

We use control, inequality, humiliation, even degradation, all quite healthily within bdsm and it can all be pleasurable, even if not in an obvious or overt way.

Some subs even want to be 'used', objectified, treated like a piece of meat or equipment and that is also healthy a sit their choice.

If people make mistakes (and we all do at times) then they will end up in play or relationships where their wants and needs do not match those they are with. They then choose to walk away before more unhappiness is caused.

We all must use our own personal responsibility to enter and exit from situations we do not feel are good for us.

If people lie or trick us, it can be hard to know we are getting into something unhealthy but we can exit asap once we know.

So, my long winded point is being a wanker may not be so much of an issue as being a liar or manipulator. To some a wanker is just selfish and within bdsm that may or may not be okay with them. Those other things are more generally reviled.

Dominant partner in an FLR with @paulss

I have never encountered that with a 'Meet and Greet' wherein the organiser has introduced themselves to me, shown me through to the munch area and said "Guys, this is Janie, new to the munch" and then supported that by taking me to individual tables to introduce me to others. I do not need to be babysat, far from it, I consider this politeness and a willingness from others to take an interest in that I am actually there. The reaction from doing this is entirely different and those reactions from the first example are entirely different to the responses in the second. In the second people naturally stop for a moment and extend their "Hellos" and the atmosphere is warmer, more inviting and makes me actually want to be there. The former doesn't.

If my preference for a meet and greet at a munch is seen as somehow less 'dominant' in some people's eyes, they aren't the kind of people I would wish to socialise with in any case and it certainly isn't an indicator of my capabilities as a dominant female.

The tooth fairy teaches kids to sell body parts for money ~ David Richerby

Well said

But in truth i don't think she got how its a pleasure in itself for many

Hopefully she has read a few of these posts and shes learned to keep her name calling to herself.

Also strange that many who agree with her, have Objectification as an interest.

“Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

Edited 12 Jan 12, 9:11 AM by Gentledom14

If it is down to mutal pleasure and satisfaction through sex how does that differ from a vanilla relationship? Vanilla sexual relationships often include a bit of spanking and silk scarf bondage, the old slap and tickle as they say. It is the power exchange that changes that from a vanilla to a BDSM experience.

I will concede on my opinion a bit if we are talking about the use of dominance as bedroom foreplay but the OP talks of Masters. To me, a dominant holds the power some of the time, a Master holds the power all of the time.

Michelle

Trussed UK (shop) ~****~ Thoughts on BDSM (resource)

Is it the submissive feeling like a piece of equipment or the 'Master' making them feel like a piece of equipment. If the latter, when used properly it could be very powerful transference and a great psychological tool.

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