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| totallycoverme |
The title of this blog is a documentary that I've just watched on really. It was about the way in which men who like their women big go about it. It featured men who chose to be in relationships with very obese women and fattened them up because it was part of their fetish or because they wanted to make the woman vulnerable via disabling her and preventing her from leaving them and just to get a sense of control generally. I only saw the end half of this docu but it was really interesting.
I'm going to be really honest. There was no mention of BDSM or Ds in this docu but a lot of the themes turned me on. Like looking and the big beautiful women really turned me on. Like I would love to have all of that gorgeous body to play with. I think it would be amazing hot to both be with and be a bbw (currently, I am well into the obese category myself but these women were all well over 25st, one was even 50st at one point). I'm finding it hard to both describe what I felt whilst watching this docu and I'm really hoping that my view don't offend anyone but I think the idea of being "fattened up" is very arousing.
That is to say that if Master enjoyed me being fat (he doesn't because it affects my health and in the grand scheme of things, I need to lose weight because even at 15st something I am in a fair bit of pain at the moment) it would really turn me on. I find the idea of being "fattened up" as a slave really hot in the sense that it would be objectifying and humiliating as part of that. I love the idea of having a massive girating body and huuuuuge breasts to the extent that my areoles are stretched. I find this such a hot idea. I love the idea of being filmed naked whilst stuffing my face and having someone enjoy that. I love the idea that someone would want to control my weight by, as happened in this docu, encouraging me to eat and drink very liberally in order to reach new extremes. I find it hot in terms of body modification. Maybe I also find it hot because it would be liberating.
I'm confused that I am aroused by the above thoughts in the way that I am because on a general basis, my weight is something that bothers me (see yesterdays blog) but when it comes to sexualising my obesity, there's something very liberating but more importantly, genuinely arousing about that.
I am very motivated by humiliation via objectification as part of being an emotional masocist so maybe that has something to do with it? (I can't stress enough that I am NOT saying that being big is something to feel humiliated about because that would make me a horrible person and a hypocrite in the process. I'm talking about the humiliation that can be felt from being objectified about the way you look, whether that be comments about your breasts, penis, hight, face, whatever....ultimately, the big disclaimer here is that everybody is beautiful and that this is about context in that a person is being objectfied via their body. Thus I am saying that having your body objectified, no matter what it looks like, is humiliating. I am not saying that being big is humiliating).
See I'm confused. I'm confused because normally, I'm pretty good at understanding, accepting and rationalising what turns me on but in this case I'm very confused. I'm confused because I'm aroused about something that I'd not really thought about that much before and I'm confused because why is it that something that causes me a lot of worry in "real life" is such a turn on as a fantasy in my head? (I suppose the same could be said with regards to any BDSM that might take it's inspiration from a theme or activity that would be genuinely unpleasant in a non consentual and "real" environment e.g. domestic abuse, prison, violence etc)
What's going on? I found the themes in this documentary to be a substantial turn on but I'm not quite sure why. Maybe it was because there was an element of control that existed in the relationships in a "let me fatten you up and then film you naked to document my good work that turns me on honey" kind of way. I dunno, like the element of control and objectification was massive and I suppose those are things that massively attract me to being a full time slave anyway but then again, I was genuinely attracted to the idea of being fattened up and just running my hands over a body that would be ultimately, fascinating and enjoyable in all it's gorgeous curves and plushyness. To be honest there are days when I do feel very sexy in my fatness but it is more frequently that the concern for my health overrides this.
I do hope that this blog makes sense if only slightly. I just wanted to get my thoughts down because I'm not sure what to make of them right now.
I can't stress enough how much I don't want to offend anyone with this blog.
Maybe this is just another example that perhaps suggest that in my head, I have the subconscious ability to sexualise the things that I'm not happy about in real life. It wouldn't be the first time I suspect.
People! What's going on in my head?
I have a fantasy in my head now and that's that so I guess that's cool. It's probably not something that I will carry out in real life but I'm just wondering why it's turned out to be a fantasy all of a sudden.
I can honestly say that this is probably the first time where I've fantasised about something and felt unsure, maybe even uncomfortable about it. It feels very strange!
This is all very perplexing!
Edited Sun 8 Jan 12, 11:44 PM by totallycoverme
| 9 Jan 12, 12:33 AM Unholy_One UK, 5 mths |
" because they wanted to make the woman vulnerable via disabling her and preventing her from leaving them and just to get a sense of control generally." Interesting. So does that theory mean it's not necessarily because the 'Feeder' likes big women and finds them attractive, but more about the Feeder being so afraid of the woman leaving & abandoning him that he makes her so fat that no other man would want her, as a form of control over her? | ||
| 9 Jan 12, 12:44 AM totallycoverme UK(M), 4 yrs |
this could be a reason for being a feeder (i have my suspicions about whether an ex was trying to do this to me at some point, as much as i do accept that my overall weight problem is down to me) but the docu didn't refer to this because the idea of it was that the feeders were proactively in favour of big women and thus the feeding to gain control was apparantly more about getting the woman to fat to physically be able to leave the house in the first place in a way that made them dependant on the feeder. It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice | ||
| 9 Jan 12, 10:05 AM canupleaseme UK(S), 3 yrs |
I loved that program lol and not cos I am into feeding people or being fed it was just so shocking I had to watch it twice!!
Kink friendly Beauty therapist all enquiries welcome | ||
| 9 Jan 12, 10:25 AM MisstressvsSolicedog UK(NN), 17 mths |
I think you put over your view very well indeed, i didn't see the program, i manage to just tolerate the way 'news' is broadcast these days let alone other program's, in what you are saying though is that in your life weight is an issue,, you enjoy being objectified, you have said it all,, loseing the pressure of haveing to keep your weight down is a freedom,, seeing a person totally obsessed by 'you' is a massive turn on, there's nothing confusing in that at all, had your weight not, been any issue in life the program would not have held so many triggers for you. Please excuse crap spelling cause i,m rubbish | ||
| 9 Jan 12, 1:05 PM totallycoverme UK(M), 4 yrs |
thank you It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice | ||
| 9 Jan 12, 2:34 PM MisstressvsSolicedog UK(NN), 17 mths |
Oh i think you had the answer but had'nt placed the questions in the right order. Please excuse crap spelling cause i,m rubbish | ||
| 9 Jan 12, 7:07 PM MissKimberley NL, 8 yrs     |
I'm fat. I'm not into feeding. My partner isn't a feeder. We both appreciate a slightly larger than average woman. We're both health conscious enough to understand the risks of being fat. But this: "a body <snip> fascinating and enjoyable in all it's gorgeous curves and plushyness. To be honest there are days when I do feel very sexy in my fatness" is exactly what I enjoy about my size. I love the way it curves, the way it wobbles, the way it is strong and full and firm, beautifully plump and so much softer ... I wouldn't advise anyone to be above their healthy weight range but there are certain benefits in being large; a certain softness and pleasurable warmth and comfort.
“During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act” - George Orwell | ||
| 9 Jan 12, 10:31 PM misunderstoodslave UK(OL), 2 yrs |
While not wishing to disagree with the v lovely @MissKimberley and not dissing anyone who likes fat or plumptiousness in itself, I have to say that feeding is wrong and upsets me and I don't care if I get banned for saying it's not ok. As a still size 14 (12 in M & S skirts, yay) former seriously obese person I just can't deal with it on any level. I didn't see this particular documentary but I've seen others, with helpless women who pretend it isn't about control, having their creases oiled by their feeder partners as they can't get in the bath. I can't bear it. It's not like chaining someone up, it's deliberately giving them a lifethreatening condition so they can't leave you. Is the equivalent deliberately facially scarring someone for the same purpose. How many of us would think that was ok? Maybe it's because I had so much sadness over my obesity for so many years, but it touches a raw nerve with me that makes me feel sick. It's not like me, as I'm very libertarian usually, but I can't see it and not express my revulsion. By which it is apparent that I don't really share the OP's fantasies!! Edited 9 Jan 12, 11:22 PM by misunderstoodslave | ||
| 10 Jan 12, 9:16 AM totallycoverme UK(M), 4 yrs |
That's ok, I have health problems which are exemplified by when I gain weight and I stuggle to have a healthy relationship with food. I can see where you're coming from in that weight is a very sensitive issue and for that reason I can see exactly why it is perplexing for someone in my position to be turned on by the idea of force feeding. As I was writing my blog I was very aware of how tabboo it felt to express my thoughts. I think it comes down to consent. For example I was in a relationship where my every effort to diet seemed to coincide with an ex's "sudden craving" to get a bargain bucket of fried chicken pieces. In this instance I wasn't happy because the actions of my partner at the time were done in a way that was against my interests and consent (I know I can choose what to put in my mouth but when someone eats stuff like that in front of you it's very hard, especially when they say they're full and you can't bear to see the food go to waste)...so yeah, there is non consentual and then there's consentual. I suppose there is obese as in "my body is in a lot of pain and it needs to change" and obese as in "I don't feel that my weight is comprimising my health and I enjoy the way I look". Yeah, I guess a lot of it comes down to context, consent and motivations but I totally respect what you say here because it is a very sensitive issue and potentially dangerous thing to if it's not considered carefully. It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice | ||
| 10 Jan 12, 9:19 AM totallycoverme UK(M), 4 yrs |
You are gorgeous and I really admire your outlook in this respect. Thank you
If it wasn't for having a bad back I would be very tempted to embrace a pro plus size attitude I'm apparantly supposed to weigh 10st. I think I'm now around 15st. My target is to weight 13.5st (or there abouts). I used to aspire to weighting a lot closer to 10st but I do love my food and I have always liked my curves. I think a lot of it is feeling that it's ok to embrace my curve and knowing how to dress them will help a lot.
Thanks again because I find your opinion on being plus sized to be a breath of fresh air It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice |
xx
