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| Thu 5 Jan 12, 10:44 PM MsBorgia_and_Mrk UK, 7 mths  |
can it be built back up and if so how? | |
| 5 Jan 12, 10:47 PM fellatrix UK, 2 yrs |
I don't think it can because you'll always have that nagging doubt... smartarse | |
| 5 Jan 12, 10:48 PM Unholy_One UK, 5 mths |
You can put a sticking plaster over the crack, and hide the fault from public view but you'll know the crack will always be there and can never be totally repaired as good as it was before. It will always be a weak spot ready to break again under any pressure. Edited 5 Jan 12, 10:49 PM by Unholy_One | |
| 5 Jan 12, 10:48 PM Meistre UK(NR), 2 yrs  |
Oh this isn't going to be easy.....from my personal experience the answer is No. Once lost I couldn't recover it and neither could my partner. Now, I have heard that other have done it...but it's a long and slow process.
I figure once it's been cracked, any repair will never be as strong as the original Sorry Omnia vincit amor | |
| 5 Jan 12, 10:48 PM Shypeachybottom UK, 20 mths |
It depends... ... on what the breach of trust was, and how important the trust and breach are to you ... on the reasons for the breach (was it deliberate? through thoughtlessness or inadvertently? was it for a "good" reason?) ... on whether the person understands the negative effects of the breach of trust, and whether they are willing to seriously and fully try to mend things and whether you are willing to try... which by posting this blog, I think you might be. But I agree with the others... it would take a long time to rebuild, until you get to the point where you no longer immediately think of the breach of trust everytime there is a problem, a question about his trust. So to even make it worthwhile trying, you both have to really want to try to fix things... Good luck There's a somebody I'm longing to see, I hope that he turns out to be, someone to watch over me Edited 5 Jan 12, 10:51 PM by Shypeachybottom | |
| 5 Jan 12, 10:50 PM m0nstre UK(G), 15 mths |
Yes, depending on what was done. How to do it? By proving to yourself, and them, that you deserve to be trusted again. By actions, not words. Words mean nothing once trust is broken, what you do is the only thing that matters. " I was going to make a gay joke... butt fuck it." | |
| 5 Jan 12, 10:53 PM DeCoverley UK(GL), 4 yrs |
My view and experience too. Except… if the guilty party comes to a kind of emotional rock bottom, with full consciousness of what she has done, and desires to make amends because it's absolutely what she wants, rather than to make the other party feel better. Then it may – just may – be possible to build something NEW. I don't think you can ever rebuild the old.
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| 5 Jan 12, 10:53 PM Ironsmith UK(CW), 8 yrs |
Total, absolute, unflinching honesty - however much it hurts - by both parties. If you're lucky, it will work. Chances of success are low; certainly less that 50%. A lot depends on how strong the relationship was before. Truly strong relationships can survive almost anything.
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| 5 Jan 12, 10:53 PM spankee_1 UK(BH), 8 yrs |
Depends on why the trust was broken and how strong your relationship was before the breakdown, in my experience though it is very difficult! | |
| 5 Jan 12, 10:55 PM Sobri_Quet UK(N), 6 mths |
When trust has gone, it's gone. I don't think that means a whole relationship needs to be over but both parties have to want it to work. There has to be an understanding of what is expected on both sides. A period of paranoia is to be expected but at some point at least the illusion of trust must return to the relationship if it is to work. I think as with most things the key is communication. | |
| 5 Jan 12, 10:56 PM stillwondering UK(CH), 14 mths |
Trust is like virginity. You only lose it once. |
