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| dubpistol |
on Mon 2 Jan 12, 8:47 PM to dubpistol's blog.
Hello all,
I'm just wondering what peoples opinions are about the D/s dynamic and what your exceptions are out of a D/s relationship.
For example, as a non pro Dom/me, how often would you expect your slave to be at your beck and call and in what capacity? Imagine the situation, as I'm sure exists for quite a few of us, that you are not sharing the same living space. Perhaps you work shifts. Would you demand your slave comes straight to you after their work day is finished and come service you domestically or sexually, or would you be satisfied with just the weekends? Would you allow the slave to have a key to your apartment so they could let themselves in before you arrive home and prepare you dinner or run you a bath, or maybe just even be there waiting in the nude patiently for you to return and have your wicked way.
The same question for the submissives out there. What would you deem as being too intrusive into your life and indeed your free will to live your life as you see fit. What exceptions on your time do you think your Dom/me should or should not, make of you?
I ask this question purely out of curiosity, although some time ago I almost went in for a new and more "pure" D/s relationship but decided it wasn't for me at the time. Previously I was lucky enough to be in a vanilla(ish) relationship which enjoyed a healthy dose of fetish and switching roles. Which I think is more my style personally, although I have always fancied a go at a real D/s relationship (me being on the bottom and being obedient to all reasonable demands from my Domme). Maybe some day ... 
I am sure it will be different for everyone but Looking forward to hearing the replies.
Cheers
Dub...
Edited Mon 2 Jan 12, 11:14 PM by dubpistol
| 2 Jan 12, 9:00 PM carenza_lionheart UK(NN), 24 mths  |
Different people, different expectations. If my Dom lived across the street, no doubt I'd be expected to be more frequently available and at shorter notice than if there were an hour's drive between us. Likewise, if we both had kids it would make a difference to what was practical and feasible. There's no way to generalise or to decide ahead of time what I would accept or expect. The one who claims to be innocent - who wants to test the claim? |
| 2 Jan 12, 9:06 PM misunderstoodslave UK(OL), 2 yrs |
you've said it yourself, depends ENTIRELY on what suits an individual or a couple, and I should imagine half the fun is finding out what does. I've seen enough on IC to know that it is the broadest of churches and all kinds of interesting domestic arrangements exist among the members, some of which will be of interest to you, others you'll think, no, not really my thing, and move on. That's why it's endlessly fascinating. Now, you and I clearly have a different take on it for starters, as you are asking what subs would do that was reasonable, whereas the whole point for me is that he can ask unreasonable stuff if he wants. In fact it pleases me that he does. I genuinely think I could go the whole hog and live a 24/7 full-on ridiculous (I say ridiculous as a nod to those who think the whole thing laughable, which I can understand a littl) M/s lifestyle. But as I'm not going to get that opportunity, who can say if I'm right? It is a big ask, after all. So I do my best - if he wants to control an aspect of my life, that's it, I'll obey on that issue. I am a slave, I have no rights he doesn't choose to give me. I'm rather taken by the idea that the bits I choose and do for myself are because he doesn't wish to control them, and not because I choose what I can have control over. But it is different for everyone. If being controlled and not having choice is your thing, you tend to think like me. If it's not, you tend to snort with derision at posts like this. Matters not. Each to his own. |
| 2 Jan 12, 10:41 PM fen_fatale UK(CB), 8 yrs |
It's all about communication, D/s relationships often start out incredibly intense and then that intensity cannot be sustained.
It needs talking about what would be a sensible level of input right from the start, or the sub will feel pressured and the Dom/me will feel let down when it just isn't realistic. Honesty is massively important, rather than the sub saying what the Domme wants to hear just so they won't be dispensed with. My own expectation of a Ds relationship that would work for me, would be something that doesn't interfere with my work in any element or my time with my children. I want a Dom who is a human first of all, and realises that I am a human firstly and sub second, as long as that is remembered then it stands more chance of working long term. My submission flows through me, but doesn't lead me, I serve naturally and that would always be there, but I will never be able to sustain a lifestyle where my top demands time from me that I feel begrudging of giving. If he interfered with my longing to take photos, i would end up resenting him, and wouldn't offer him the best of me. If the relationship will work, then the levels are as individual as the people, what works for one couple will not work for another. What it is right to expect is what your sub can offer to you, fairly without them feeling they are sacrificing things in their life, and that should be equalled with the amount you need of them to feel satisfied. It is no use pretending it is only about the Dom/me, it has got to be right for both and both have to feel happy. No point in demanding if your sub begrudges giving in to those demands, in the long run... both would be left miserable.
Edited 2 Jan 12, 10:43 PM by fen_fatale |
| 2 Jan 12, 11:13 PM dubpistol UK(N), 11 mths |
Interesting replies.
Much as I thought but felt it would be good to throw it out there and see what came back.
Apologies anyone if your replies where not immediately visible, I inadvertently put a block on it. Haven't used IC in a while and was not aware of that feature. Think I've rectified it now!
Do keep em coming though. E |
