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| dusted |
'Whats the worst fantasy you have of me?' I text it to you, already excited by the reply. I'm always so silly.
'It all revolves around the same thing. You being so emotionally dependent on me that you'd do anything I ask. It's harsh, but there it is.' The reply stuns me, I shut my eyes against the cold words. Problem is, you already have me.
I know this won't work. He's back now but not for long. She's so stupid, she believes him. She tells me it's okay, he's here for good this time. I smile at her disdainfully and say she's fucking stupid. Her eyes, so often an acid blue, cloud over. I just laugh at her and walk away. Don't get I attached I tell myself, he won't be here that long.
The outside is so cold that my breath is steaming up the glass. It's warm in the shop but I'm shivering. The neon lights are giving me a headache and making me feel like I'm under a spotlight. I check my watch, it's 10.10pm. She's only ten minutes late but I can't stop the crying. Big fat tears are rolling into my mouth as my manager stares at me dumbfounded. My hands are pressed to the cold glass now, like a child awaiting it's parents.
"Are you ok?" My manager is concerned. To be fair, I do look like a nutcase.
"She's not coming back. She's never coming back." My voice breaks.
"I'm leaving you"'my voice is strong, authoritative.
"Please, please no. Please, please I'm begging you...." he's whimpering now.
I look down at him on the floor. His long blonde fringe falling into his huge sky blue eyes. Tears are rolling onto his full lips which are now quivering. I feel....nothing. His beauty which once discarded me now sickens me. As his hands touch my shoes in a begging gesture I step away. I don't want those hands on me ever again. I'd suffered then on my body for too long, time to escape. He clings to my ankle as I pick up my bag.
"Don't be so fucking pathetic" I snarl and and kick it off.
I never look back as I walk away.
"You smell like peaches and cream" I whisper against her neck.
She looks raphaelite against the bed sheets, naked with her head hanging from the edge of the bed. My hands travel over her full breasts, my pale skin looking so stark against her darker tone. I move my head down to take her nipple into my mouth and she gasps, pulls my hand to her groin. She's wet, slick against my fingers as I rub her clit gently. Still so unsure.
I hear a growl as she pulls herself up and straddles me. Fleshy thighs enclosing my lean waist. She guides my hand back and I press a little harder, build a rhythm. My nervousness ebbing away now.
"Fuck me. Fuck me harder" she says as she orgasms. I'm dizzy from pleasing her.
I'm tired from the hospital, emotionally wrought. I haven't showered and I'm still in the same clothes. He asks me what's wrong so I tell him. I don't even cry. I'm feeling to much to be able to. His dark hair shrouds his eyes as he looks at me, his dead eyes. I know he's getting harder the worse my story is getting. My 18 year old self is already used to it. When I finish my body gos limp with relief. It makes the smack to my face hurt more. My hands stay by my side and just accept what's to follow.
The office is empty but they could come back anytime. I secretly hope there are security cameras as I lift her onto the desk. The bosses desk. Our bosses desk. She giggles and reaches for me, her arms clinging to my neck. The kiss is deep and desperate, I'm hungry for her as always. I run my hands over her tiny frame, under her tshirt and scrape her nipples with my thumbs. As she moans I move my hand down her belly and into her jeans.
The jeans that hang off her slender hips and have just enough space to slip my hand in. She's soaking and I watch her huge brown eyes flutter close as I slip my fingers inside her. As her cunt grips my fingers I wish I was a better person. I wish that the thought of her boyfriend waiting for her at home wasn't spurring me on. I can't stop, so I add another finger.
As I sob into the hotel sheets I realise I now know what pain is. The belt is biting into my skin like acid and I'm writhing under it trying to escape the onslaught. "Face down baby, stop moving" and it continues again. Over my ass and down my thighs. I begin begging please, please, please. Trying to cope, to take it for you. Wondering how I can possibly take anymore. You decide, I don't dare ask you to stop.
My hands are tangled in her long blonde hair. I know he's watching me kiss her deeply and then run my lips down her neck. She closes her eyes and I kiss her again, bring one hand to the back of her neck. I resist the urge to yank her head back, to smack her across the face. Instead I take my pleasure from knowing he's watching.
Her hands are at my corseted waist now to pull me closer. I oblige, loving the feel of her satin shirt against my bare chest. She's flushed, excited as she pulls away. I'm frustrated, consumed by my dark desire for her. I know he wants her. Everyone does. Maybe he thinks she's better than me Thinking about it pierces my soul.
The knife is snug in my mouth. Good job, because your hand is shaking making the blade vibrate against my teeth. I'm trying to stop thinking about it exiting my head. But I can't. My eyes are blinded by the hood covering my face which is denying me the chance to see your pleasure at this. If I could speak I'd ask you to finger me, I want you to know this is turning me on.
I want you to know that I understand so far, you're just playing.
I want you to know I'm just as bad.
| 2 Jan 12, 4:50 PM Drew_Heller UK(LS), 4 yrs  |
Wow. Just fucking wow. Nuff said x |
| 2 Jan 12, 5:18 PM coquettish UK(BN), 22 mths  |
Oh my! Loved this - on so many levels.
Just brilliant! |
| 2 Jan 12, 5:26 PM dusted UK(B), 18 mths  |
 thankyouLooking for a saviour within these dirty sheets. |
| 3 Jan 12, 4:29 PM jackvalentine UK(BN), 2 yrs |
Mmmmmmmm ... read it twice for better effect  "the purpose of life is to live creatively, love and be kind" Anne Rice "Ah but it's being creative in how you do that thats fun. And sometimes you have to be quite firm" JV |
