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Book Research (13)

This post is on the Other BDSM web board.

Sun 18 Dec 11, 6:28 PM
fetishist11
UK(KT), 6 yrs

Hi all,

Please tell me if I am posting this in the wrong place or breaking site protocol in any way.

After Xmas I am planning to start researching a book about the 'non-vanilla' world and the people who participate in it. I'm also very interested in how it fits in with any vanilla lives they may be living.

I don't participate heavily in the scene myself, though I would like to, but have been involved to some extent for quite a while now and would be writing from a very 'pro' fetish/alternative world point of view.

I am loooking for people of any persuasion at all who would be willing to give me some of their time to talk about themselves and the lives they live. Anonymity, if asked for, is guaranteed.

I can't offer any payment, apart from copies of the book if it ever gets to publication and whatever drink/food is on offer where we meet!

Please send me a memo if you would be willing to talk and am open to any suggestions of where else to post.

Thanks

18 Dec 11, 7:15 PM
Bubbles_2
UK(E), 6 yrs

May i ask why?

Club Subversion Crossing the Rubicon FleursduMal bobette's Facebook Beginners Guide to BDSM

18 Dec 11, 10:27 PM
fetishist11
UK(KT), 6 yrs

Why does anyone want to write? I would like to be able to say I've had a book published, and this would be a subject I already have knowledge of and would enjoy writing about.

I'm not sure yet whether it would be a book predominantly aimed at those who already are involved in the non-vanilla world, but would like it to be more for anyone who is willing to learn more about it and may have false preconceptions about many of us.

18 Dec 11, 10:43 PM
skadii
UK(W), 5 yrs

Provisionally I'm not averse to talking in confidence to researchers (I've recently done an interview on alternative lifestyles with a researcher) BUT I would want to know

* do you already have a publisher?

* do you have a synopsis?

* is this planned as academic research, or as a guide to the scene, or what?

* have you had anything else published previously, including articles or research?

* do you have anybody who can vouch for you as a genuine person?

I'm all for encouraging genuine research and productive comment about BDSM in the UK, but I don't know you from Adam, you don't post here although your profile's been here for 5 years, and to be brutally honest I wouldn't want to be feeding someone's wank fantasy anthology. I'm sure you understand why people might want a bit more information before volunteering!

18 Dec 11, 10:48 PM
PearlBlueSoul
UK(EC), 2 yrs

Happy to meet, happy to talk. I've got no great incriminating secrets to confess, but plenty of thoughts to share, so ain't too worried about your legitimacy or discretion, especially since it all seems to be at the mulling/sounding-board stage.

18 Dec 11, 11:10 PM
fetishist11
UK(KT), 6 yrs

Thanks to those who are replying here and those who are sending me memos. I will be conatcting anyone who expresses an interest in January.

For those with comments about my reasons/legitamacy I do understand your concerns.

I haven't participated actively in IC up to now, but I have been attending events, mainly munches and LFF sporadically for over 2 years now. I'm a latecomer to the scene and feel I have missed out badly, but even when I wasn't involved with others my lifestyle was definitely different and fetish oriented.

I have no credentials as I writer to show anyone, but the only fantasy I'm trying to fulfil by doing this is that of being able to call myself an author. I find my sexual fantasies can be fulfilled in much easier ways that spending hours interviewing people and transcribing notes. (Well maybe not easier, but that's my own story)

As for having anyone to vouch for me, not sure what you want them to say. But there are people on IC who may not know me by this profile but will definitely have seen my face and that of my partner at events.

No-one is being forced to contribute and I would hope that anyone who does will feel comfortable doing so. I do not have to know real names unless people choose to use them.

18 Dec 11, 11:18 PM
belle_lettriste
UK(N), 18 mths

fetishist11 wrote:
Why does anyone want to write? I would like to be able to say I've had a book published

Believe me, that really isn't a good reason to want to write a book. That's the reason lots of people start books but never finish them. As with just about every human activity, the pros make it look easy. It's not.

19 Dec 11, 12:04 AM
Silent_Storm
UK(M), 6 yrs

I'm prepared to overlook some points that have been mentioned, fairly dormant profile etc.

You could start your research by purchasing CAAN's book and the polyamory project, the links are below. Both of which feature extensive contributions from people who are on IC.

http://www.caan.org.uk/beyond.html

This book argues in no uncertain terms that the entire approach to sex and sexuality in Britain today is discriminatory, in that it presumes a normal and �correct� (heteronormative) way for individuals to conduct themselves - and therefore sees all alternative forms of sexual conduct as needing to be subject to strict legal "safeguards". The latter may carry the stamp of outward respectability from an essentially white, middle class and male psychiatric profession: however, they are little more than old-fashioned puritan morality dressed up as rational standards. As religion's hold over society fades away, so the modern pseudo-science of psychiatry tightens its grip on the law-making process! Were this the case in any other field of human endeavour, there would be a national outcry: but because the discrimination under scrutiny is in respect of sexual conduct, and the British attitude to debating sex and sexuality has rarely raised its head above the level of seaside postcard humour, almost all attempts to engage in discussion of this issue are met with polite put-down. Nonetheless, discrimination victimises against individuals for doing no more than engaging in perfectly legal and consensual activity with other adults. This book documents cases where individuals have lost job, home life and family as a direct result of societal prurience. It highlights how the current approach to Equal Rights - about to be strengthened through the Equality Bill - does little to protect anyone who falls outside recognised minority groups. As one academic comments: "Equality is the framework that makes discrimination possible". It proposes an alternative and radical Human Rights-based approach, in which discrimination itself is redefined not in terms of groups affected, but relative to the harm done to innocent individuals.

http://www.caan.org.uk/

http://thepolyamoryproject.wordpress.com/ I have just scratched this review off Amazon.

This book is about the individual experiences of being in a Poly Relationship and how each has different dinamics dependant on the personalities and sexual preferences of the individuals involved. It is intimately written and has total honesty about it. Having been in a Poly myself, I can relate to some of the individuals and how they manage the relationship. It gives evidence that although it is not accepted in common and popular society, it is within other groups and subcultures such as the BDSM / Fetish scene as an example.

This isn't just for those of a curious nature that want information to make a valid decision before possibly going further, this is also for those who have experience and may feel alone and shy to come forward. It is reassuring, to me anyway, that there are those out there able to speak out and have no fear about what the wider audience or society think. It takes a strong will and confidence to write something of this nature and it is worth reading. It will do something to you emotionally and make you empathise with those who have spoken.

This is beautifully written and is an experience not worth missing, wither you've never heard of Polyamory before or you are already in a practicing relationship. Take the time and be inspired.

As a Kindle / Ebook, it works very well. Clear and consise in the wording and programming. I personally feel that it would be best read on a Kindle / Ebook as it gives it the personal approch the book has about it.

Just beautiful is the only way to sum it up.

*Choose Freedom* Sign up to http://www.caan.org.uk

19 Dec 11, 5:09 PM
fetishist11
UK(KT), 6 yrs

Thanks for the links Silent Storm.

Yes my profile has been dormant, but hopefully will continue to be a lot more active as I carry on with this.

To be honest one of the reasons it's stayed that way so long is I haven't been sure enough of what I wanted and who I was within the Fetish oriented community, though I knew I belonged there as much as anywhere else. Therefore I didn't feel that any profile description I gave was going to reflect who I was. Not very promising for an aspiring writer, I know.

Perhaps, even if the book doesn't succeed, the work I do on it and the people who are willing to talk to me will help me to understand myself more.

Just to answer an earlier question about any synopsis I have, my plan is, rather than have a structure that I will fit any research I have into, to talk to others first and see where that leads me. I feel that will be a more productive and less blinkered way of working.

Edited 19 Dec 11, 5:11 PM by fetishist11

20 Dec 11, 2:13 PM
skyfox
UK(EH), 5 yrs

fetishist11 wrote:
Just to answer an earlier question about any synopsis I have, my plan is, rather than have a structure that I will fit any research I have into, to talk to others first and see where that leads me. I feel that will be a more productive and less blinkered way of working.

Sure, it's all well and fine to have open-ended research without a specific conclusion in mind, but there is also a wealth of topics one can cover in terms of "non-vanilla people". Psychology, history, social aspects of, practices of, etc. What is your working question? (Which would lead to your thesis statement.)

And, for the potential interviewees, why are you choosing to interview people and what do you hope to gain from these interviews? While I realise that there is a bit of the observer's paradox in disclosing such information, kinksters do tend to be skeptical of research of which they are the data (unless it's an online survey). More information about what will be spoken about and how it will be used will get more responses.

As for interviewing, I would actually be more inclined to use the snowball approach with this group. The technique is better for groups where trust is an issue. (And believe me, trust is an issue here!) This would also circumvent you having to explain to every soul on IC that you are not a sensationalist journalist or a wanker looking for fodder but are taking this seriously.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

20 Dec 11, 5:18 PM
Sultrylady
UK(B), 11 yrs

An idea... why don't you start by talking to the people you actually know, the ones you've met. You could approach them face-to-face and perhaps preliminary discussions with them will help to give your project direction.

When you have a clear idea where you are going and can assure me it won't be a waste of my time, I would be happy to share my views, opinions, experiences or whatever it is you decide you need.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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