 |
| Sister_of_Cain |
on Sun 18 Dec 11, 4:44 PM to Sister_of_Cain's blog.
Now this has been triggered from the What constitutes bullying? thread.
It might seem like an odd question, as people will say of course I don't like bullies, bullying causes damage, the topic often brings up memories. Despite this bullying takes on many forms and does persist into adulthood. Those who appear to be bullying seem to be 'popular' they know everyone, people are nice to them, so that would mean that bullies are liked.
Many bullies will seem like this on the surface, they have their clique are always seen with others, but is this a front? In some it's a cover up for their own insecurities, in others it's how they have been socialized to behave. Others are very 2-faced in their attitude, to the casual observer sweetness and light, but delve deeper and the snide comments, body language, passive-aggressive behaviour will become apparent.
As someone who has been bullied including on this scene, or have I am I just oversensitive about the going to out you being told you better ... or I'll make sure you're not welcome, rumours etc, (I think that might count) Now I'm not an innocent fluffy bunny who's not done anything wrong, but I do think that response was a little unfair. I've observed that in my case the people who did the bullying seemed popular but months later I heard comments of can you believe XYZ has been ABC and so on, therefore I feel that although some bullys will be liked in the long term many won't and that there are some wonderful people around without having too much to do with the bullies.
Definitely a little introspective and things. Hormones plus the back to reality after a good weekend seeing friends in Leeds.
By the way have you ever noticed the twistedness of willy wonka and the chocolate factory? On ITV now 
| 18 Dec 11, 4:57 PM Hatari  UK(BN), 6 yrs |
Regrettably I think your spot on. Most of the bullies I have known have been leaders of a pack, the followers following and emulating the behaviour of the bully. From my experience bullies rarely exist in isolation they seem to need the affirmation of the pack. This post is my opinion, sorry if you don't agree with it or if it offends you in any way | |
| 18 Dec 11, 6:22 PM Drew_Heller UK(LS), 4 yrs  |
Hey I love bullies, I really do... You see it's so cathartic when you take them down and make them realise that they are fucked (even better when you get the chance to kick them in the bollocks with steel toecaps and watch them cry like babies) Sorry being slightly flippant. Simple answer is no. I regard bullying as something which if I had my way would involve having limbs removed without anaesthetic as a suitable punishment... | |
| 18 Dec 11, 9:31 PM Sister_of_Cain UK, 7 yrs |
@Hatari - you put it better than me, thank-you
@Drew_Heller - yours made me giggle, so off to start a limb removal club then? Sometimes suffers blonde moments. | |
| 19 Dec 11, 9:31 AM Jezzebelle UK, 10 yrs |
Smiles http://www.flickr.com/photos/jezzebelle/ | |
| 19 Dec 11, 9:35 AM Jezzebelle UK, 10 yrs |
I often think bullies are popular not because people actually like them but because they fear being on the other side and so tolerate the bad behaviours. The bullies then become surrounded by a clique of sycophants which then boosts their sense of their own self worth until someone, as Drew said "brings them down". http://www.flickr.com/photos/jezzebelle/ | |
| 19 Dec 11, 11:29 AM crystaltips UK(S), 5 yrs |
"Others are very 2-faced in their attitude, to the casual observer sweetness and light, but delve deeper and the snide comments, body language, passive-aggressive behaviour will become apparent." The above quote can so often be true. I think the whole subject is very difficult - is it still bullying if its a reaction to other's behaviour? - possibly, but is it justified sometimes? I wouldn't want to hound someone in the way the other thread describes but sometimes i react very badly to blatant lies. I just realised i didn't answer the question. I think it links to the quote, initially they are very popular but over time, more and more people avoid them. Edited 19 Dec 11, 11:52 AM by crystaltips | |
| 19 Dec 11, 5:03 PM Drew_Heller UK(LS), 4 yrs |
I'll get my chainsaw oiled... You can leave the anaesthetic at home | |
| 21 Dec 11, 3:47 PM Sister_of_Cain UK, 7 yrs |
Thank-you for all your contributions, always nice to hear things from other sides.
Sometimes suffers blonde moments. |
