This post is on the BDSM Activism web board.
| Fri 16 Dec 11, 11:28 AM a_pellentesque_ornar UK, 5 mths  |
The people I see attempting to positively represent the scene are often the last people I would choose to represent me I've noticed there has been quite a few instances of BDSM 'PR' recently (TV interviews, articles in print etc). My point for discussion is this: Although it is on the one hand great that some people make a genuine positive intent effort to portray the 'scene' (or lifestyle or whatever) in a good way, the folks who I see doing this are generally towards the bottom of the list of the type of people I would choose to represent the 'scene' (or whatever). In particular I find that they are not very 'representative' of the bdsm 'scene' (or whatever) that I know and where I have many many friends (young, successful professionals who are normal*)
(*normal is clearly a point for debate, but I can't be arsed to find a better word, I'm not a conformist, and in fact I'm definitely not normal
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| 16 Dec 11, 11:32 AM bohnanza UK(FK), 12 yrs  |
Could you supply links to examples to back up your argument? I have the perfect accent for conflict resolution, shame about the personality. | |||
| 16 Dec 11, 11:35 AM Attitude_Adjuster UK(N), 6 yrs |
That would involve naming people and probably wouldn't be contructive to the debate.... And all men kill the thing they love, By all let this be heard, Some do it with a bitter look, Some with a flattering word, The coward does it with a kiss, The brave man with a sword! | |||
| 16 Dec 11, 11:48 AM crimbo_clitpump UK(WV), 4 yrs |
satitstics to support the proposition indicating a higher tendedancy within that particular demographic would be a start. although any such satistics ive seen have been fundementaly flawed from the start.
Therefore it would appear that this is based upon nothing more than anecdotal experiance. "Having engaged in it consensually would not be a crime, but to have a photograph of it in one's possession would be a crime. That does not seem to make sense to me " Lord Wallace of Tankerness | |||
| 16 Dec 11, 11:49 AM pleasureswitch UK(E), 6 yrs |
De Facto the public face of BDSM right now is Max Mosley, or I suspect if an ordinary person was asked to name someone he would be pretty near the top of the list. Whenever I've seen or heard him in the media he dose carry himself grace and speak in a very considered manner, so as a non appointed public figure, I do think he is a good man to have on "our" side. "Yeah I like Kinky stuff,dirty dark pervy stuff,weird sex....
An' Yerself ?" | |||
| 16 Dec 11, 11:51 AM Attitude_Adjuster UK(N), 6 yrs |
I'm inclined to agree. There are a great many people who represent us in an objective way (backlash/caan etc) on broad ethics positions. Thats fine. When people start to pop up portraying 'the scene' it makes my toes curl. They are doing nothing more than protraying themselves and a handfull of people they hang out with. Most people into BDSM don't go to clubs, munches, whatever. There is no such thing as 'this lifestyle'.
And all men kill the thing they love, By all let this be heard, Some do it with a bitter look, Some with a flattering word, The coward does it with a kiss, The brave man with a sword! | |||
| 16 Dec 11, 11:54 AM bohnanza UK(FK), 12 yrs |
Without examples it isn't a debate, it is a rant. It has as much validity as me saying the quality of IC posts is so low because the posters are crap at it. If whoever this thread is aimed at is not very good at it why doesn't someone more competent step forward? Probably because they can't be arsed to put in the effort or want the public exposure. It is the same with events. You get shit events because not everyone with the get up and go to run an event is very good at it. I have the perfect accent for conflict resolution, shame about the personality. | |||
| 16 Dec 11, 11:59 AM Attitude_Adjuster UK(N), 6 yrs |
perhaps our newly born OP will enlighten us.
And all men kill the thing they love, By all let this be heard, Some do it with a bitter look, Some with a flattering word, The coward does it with a kiss, The brave man with a sword! | |||
| 16 Dec 11, 12:04 PM Gentledom14 UK(CA), 6 yrs     |
Except for Max and Rihanna,I cant name anyone Or Does the OP mean the Odd Sexual topic they throw on This Morning or channel 4 for titillation? The average BDSM couple will never get publicity and gladly so. Maybe one day after they run out of token characters in Eastenders/Corrie they will have the first sub/Dom couple to make us proud. “Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” | |||
| 16 Dec 11, 12:04 PM Doghouse_Reilly UK(MK), 6 yrs |
I don't think BDSM has or needs a public face because it is so widespread these days. It's commonplace in the mainstream media, I would expect most people have given some elements of it a try at some point and let's face it, while they remain vocal, the real minority in this situation is the people that think this kind of thing is important. To take the Mosley case as a for instance, where was the outrage? Where was the judgement? More people were critical of his adultery than what he was actually getting up to. Shocking as it may sound, BDSM just isn't shocking. The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power. | |||
| 16 Dec 11, 12:06 PM kitiara UK(WV), 8 yrs |
I think I know where you are coming from. As you said it's great that people are coming out to press etc and there are positive interviews. However, sometimes these people are big on the scene and do not represent every ones situation; we are all individuals and each persons experience of BDSM is different. I would also consider my life kind of 'normal'; a family life with children, family, friends that are not at all connected to any form of this lifestyle. I seem to have a few different coats in my closet (not sure if this is the best way to describe it, but will do for now) My main coat is an, almost, typical solicitor's wife, pearls included. It is all very good to have Master this and Mistress that to come out and represent what they interpret as the lifestyle or scene, but for me the scene is a very small part. I respect what they are doing though. My husband doesn't or never has or will own a single pair of leather trousers, they suit some, but not all and the trousers do not define the Dom/Domme. Nice things come in small packages...but so does poison! |
but I haven't had enough caffeine to think of a better word)