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Humiliation!!! (20)

This post is on the Other BDSM web board.

14 Dec 11, 1:40 PM
valleyrose17
UK(BS), 2 yrs

maybe its cos I have a son of his age but I think hes getting a bit of a rough ride.

"Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed" Michael Pritchard
"Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall in love with a gorgeous redhead" - Lucille Ball

14 Dec 11, 1:52 PM
othyim
NL, 3 yrs

valleysnowdrop wrote:
maybe its cos I have a son of his age but I think hes getting a bit of a rough ride.

Cause I have possible son in laws that age I agree.

"Class is the impartial, consistent display of emotional integrity."

14 Dec 11, 2:43 PM
Avenged
UK(NE), 10 yrs

othyim wrote:

valleysnowdrop wrote:
maybe its cos I have a son of his age but I think hes getting a bit of a rough ride.

Cause I have possible son in laws that age I agree.

I agree as well. I think a lot can depend on the first couple of answers. If they are negative, disdainful and unhelpful then others will come along and continue in the same vein.

In any case, I hope some people with experience in the area can provide some wisdom and set him on the right path.

14 Dec 11, 3:15 PM
MisstressvsSolicedog
UK(NN), 17 mths

MarkR_88 wrote:
Humiliation!!!

Humiliation!!!

Hi Everyone I am looking for Humilatrix, who does not just want money, are there no dominate women out there who just get a kick out humiliating men online/or in person, is there no satisfaction in knowing that you have a man wrapped around your figure and you can abuse him and get him to complete humiliating tasks you set him???

Just wondering if any one has any experience of this and that they could share

Well,,

Welcome to IC,,

i would advise that you get yourself known around the boards by adding into post's etc,,

don't stick to only self intrest as targeting the way and manner of your post's will get you a rep as being frankly a little boreish if not done with 'flair',

Also remember that your dealing with people not autromiton's there to do your bidding,,

also given your age your at a good point to explore other aspect's within your intrest by purousing the boards and posting,, and likewise you will without doubt, your see posting from people that are within your intrest group also,,

as a personal point i would re-evaulate your profile to see how that could be enhanced the general intrest that people may find out about 'you' the person in it,

very best of luck an all,,

Please excuse crap spelling cause i,m rubbish

14 Dec 11, 3:47 PM
othyim
NL, 3 yrs

Hej OP,

xmastressvsdog gives good advice (he usually does).

One of the first things I would do if I were you is to get rid of this pic you have as your avatar now. There is no golden rule that you need a facial pic here.

Also, check out possible munches in your area; you can find those here: http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/uk/munches/all/

Try to get to know poeple. Both here and in real life.

Oh and change your profile. If you dont know how, look at other profiles to give you a blunt idea. In any case, talking bout the vanilla you as well in your profile might be a good ideea.

Good luck

"Class is the impartial, consistent display of emotional integrity."

Edited 14 Dec 11, 3:52 PM by othyim

14 Dec 11, 4:16 PM
Elysium
UK(EH), 5 yrs

Ms_Rika wrote:

Elysium wrote:
I have plenty of experience of this, from both sides of the D/s spectrum. In years long poly relationships.

The bottom line is that the BDSM scene as a whole is nothing but a reflection of standard societal gender politics/games.

As such, if you want to get your rocks off in this way, expect to be in for a long wait. If you as a young penis owner operator are not willing to either sacrifice monetarily, or give over all power over your life to a most likely selfish and insecure control freak: who will think less of you as a man as a result. Then, well, you're likely to be watching a lot of porn and playing waggle with your flesh stick for quite a while. At least until you can coerce an unsuspecting vanilla partner to call you names while you fillet your beef.

I suggest you get married before you even bring your kinks up. Don't want to risk rejection for the sake of letting someone you love know who you really are.

If that doesn't work out, and she isn't game. Then,I recommend you spend the inevitable child support on a lovely pro domme. That will obviously inevitably lead to a deep relationship where you feel valued, accepted and appreciated for who you truly are as a person.

Wow...that was eloquent! Great advice, wrapped in sarcasm and dripping in disdain. Really beautifully written!

While I agree with most everything Elysium wrote above, I think you can broach your fetishes before you get married. Not that you will choose to marry or not based on her willingness to go along with your fantasy, but because you should be open and free with a partner with whom you expect to spend the rest of your life.

The bottom line on this: a woman catering to a man's interests (read: fetishes, likes, fantasies, etc.) is not a dominant act. Unless she shares the desire, a woman who does something for you is doing so out of a desire to see her partner happy and fulfilled. This is a basic relationship tenet - fulfill each other and have a more healthy relationship. If you want to submit to a woman, you will have to learn what SHE considers to be service and then provide THAT to the best of your ability.

You may well find a woman who is a great match for you in many relationship ways (you may marry her) and who may be willing to accept and execute against your fantasies. That doesn't mean it's something she would do naturally...just something she does for you because she loves you. And she may get very good at it.

If, however, that isn't good enough for you - and you absolutely need to have a partner who WANTS to debase you - for whatever internal reasons she has - then you're in for a very long haul as Elysium indicated...and are likely going to end up on the short end.

As I've said in my book, the happy sub is not the one who gets what he wants, it's the one who is happy with all he gets. Recognize the gifts she gives you.

Thanks very much. It's high praise coming from a published author.

I would like to make it clear that I of course don't think it wise or desirable to hide such inclinations from a partner. Any loving partner. Not because you simply shouldn't hide these things, but because it's entirely self defeating and a disservice to your partner(s) and ultimately kinky relationships as a whole.

It's really not anything to hide, it's something to celebrate and something which everyone should take ownership. Not hide and cloak in language of shame.

This word 'naturally' comes up. I loathe the connotations of it within the context of D/s. It's a bugbear of mine.

The idea of natural hierarchies or stratification for naturalistic reasons hints at a rather flawed philosophy. This philosophy tends to prop up the ridiculous and shameful state of BDSM and FLR.

Not that I think you are a proponent of such philosophies.

I also think that realistically, a little fantasy fulfilment within the wider context of a D/s relationship can be an expression of D/s. If that's all the relationship is, then it's clearly not. However, I can see and indeed have experienced context from both sides where having fantasies fulfilled or fulfilling those of a partner did fit within the dynamic.

A grateful submissive is not one who is in charge.

Let's televise and broadcast the raping of kings.

15 Dec 11, 1:25 AM
Charlie_G
UK, 2 yrs

Are you in the SAS?

Cruel Goddess

15 Dec 11, 2:53 AM
NANA777
UK(SW), 3 yrs

As long as I know, there is no dominant woman who really enjoys humiliating strangers or people who they don't know very well.(maybe except super handsome guys... I know I know, the world is not fair to everyone!)

Humiliation is a mind game. If they don't know the sub's mind, humiliation is not really valid in my opinion. I can't imagine dominant women who really enjoy humiliating a sub they don't know nor like. Well, there might be some who would enjoy humiliating the person they hate! I might enjoy the case... But then, if the person is a sub and loves humiliation, I would hate to provide what they want at all!

You said you are looking for a dominant woman who humiliates you but does not just want money. But they all would say, they are looking for a sub who does not just want some particular activity...

15 Dec 11, 2:51 PM
MarkR_88
UK(HP), 6 mths

Thank you to those of you have given me some good adive and a lot to think about, as you proberly guessed I have no experiance and just intrested in finding out from thoses more experianced.

15 Dec 11, 2:57 PM
RockNRollBimbo
UK(AL), 15 mths

Caelum wrote:
Come on everyone, give the poor guy a break. He's only 22. I remember being so naive when I was that age.

Hey now, age has nothing to do with this.

As for the OP, I would advise working on your spelling and grammar before seeking people out. One of the most common turn-offs is poor writing, so you'll get a much higher rate of replies if you take the time to write eloquently