This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 7 Dec 11, 9:06 AM Belasarius UK(M), 8 yrs        |
Bang on, in my book. My goal - to save women from nature (Dior) | ||
| 7 Dec 11, 9:12 AM Shypeachybottom UK, 20 mths |
As a submissive... I think this is a very good point! I would even go further and say that setting a date sends the wrong message, as submission shouldn't be about making an effort for a set period of time, it should be part of the relationship on an ongoing basis! To the OP : by all means choose and have that "outward sign" of ownership ready like a piece of jewellery, but you might consider having it with you, and then *you* decide when it is a meaningful time to give it to her. It should be meaningful, and not something she receives merely because she has told you she wants to feel owned (otherwise sounds like topping from the bottom). So it's good that she has told you what she would like, even better for the two of you that you are interested in giving her something, but you should give it at a time and place and in a way of your choosing. When you receive gifts you didn't really expect, they can be much more meaningful, as opposed to simply fulfilling a sense of entitlement the recipient has created by asking for them... There's a somebody I'm longing to see, I hope that he turns out to be, someone to watch over me | ||
| 7 Dec 11, 9:20 AM ClitMeister UK(OX), 3 yrs |
A clit piercing with jewellery having both your birthstones on the end of a barbel.Can be worn permanently. KC | ||
| 7 Dec 11, 10:14 AM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
And for anyone in a new relationship obviously be careful about anything like sharing blood or eating it. We all know that the AIDS virus etc does not show up for more than 3 months on tests etc. | ||
| 7 Dec 11, 10:32 AM DrTaps AQ, 10 yrs |
Some excellent ideas given. Just to add a note of caution because this seems like quite a new relationship. Once she feels owned via this ceremony, it will be all the harder if you ever split up. Having to take off an ownership marker, whatever it is, physical or mental, can be a real damaging wrench for whoever is left behind. So I would agree with the earning it over time after a period of serving you and of you both being sure that this will be a longer term thing and worked on it long enough to have the evidence of this behind you. My personal opinion is that early and possibly rushed collarings, with or without an actual collar, are to be avoided. | ||
| 7 Dec 11, 10:36 AM dangerousdonkey 2 yrs |
I agree with this. Could you give her something small to start with and set a time frame to build up to full collaring. The first thing my Dom gave me was a silver bracelet. | ||
| 7 Dec 11, 11:51 AM Ms_Valentine UK, 9 yrs |
I don't think setting a date has to send out a 'wrong message' as all it is saying is if you please me and submit well until X, I will give you a treat. It might be a good way of building trust about how honourable a Dom can be in what is after all the early stages of a relationship. Pre-defining dates may mean some subs would then see it as an excuse to just be good because of the pre-known date of the treat. I think you would have to see if you thought that would be applicable in each unique situation and act accordingly. No one, surely, will keep a sub who was only good to get treats. I think setting a date is perfectly valid, although I accept so is the other option. It will work either way if the sub is motivated and mature and if they aren't and have no sense of self-discipline, very little will force them to become good. If the submission was not good enough, date or no date known in advance, the treat can be withheld. That is always up to the dominant and the sub would surely understand they are never 'rewarded' or given treats for poor behaviour. Once a relationship is established submission for its own sake should really be the general order of the day but to begin with, some half way measures can help to ease a sub along.
Mistress of @paulss My PD blog at http://mistress-keene.blogspot.com/ http://twitter.com/#!/Mistress_Keene | ||
| 7 Dec 11, 12:01 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
The traditional route in just about all cultures is an initial agreement (betrothal/engagement). In some cultures that is as a child as in others it's 6 months or something before the wedding. it's an initial contract in a way and indeed you could go to court for breach of promise or marriage. I think in the US the supposed finance of Dodi Fayed when he left her for the Princess of Wales brought that action. It's a commitment leading up to the stronger one of marriage. I would not feel owned by someone unless they knew a huge amount about me and were committed to me (although I'm not suggesting initial symbols are wrong or not sexy - they can be very important). The real ones I suppose are when people publicly say they are no longer available, then gradually go to family events together so people know them as a couple and I suppose ultimately live together having married. I don't think I've quite entered into the spirit of the thread. Laughing as I type. | ||
| 7 Dec 11, 1:23 PM xAdamx  UK(SE), 9 yrs |
I peed on mine like marking my property / territory and gave her a permanent steel collar locked in place with screw pin ( does'nt come off even for airport security ) grinz.. | ||
| 7 Dec 11, 1:42 PM Belasarius UK(M), 8 yrs |
We do the peeing thing as a reminder of ownership ritual a few times a year. It feels both connecting and cleansing. My goal - to save women from nature (Dior) |
