Chastity, Love Making with no orgasm (13)

Having a sub/slave wear a strap on is a lot of fun (either with them in chastity or not)....there are also the options of tubes/extenders that can be worn over the cock if freed - which obviously doesn't allow for any real sensations.

If you don't want plastic involved I guess the other option would be the various ways of producing "numbing" condoms.

It is a matter of very great consequence and I suggest that it is time to affirm your promise and do whatever is necessary to mend the bridge that has been comprehensively destroyed, perhaps by giving a hostage to fortune in the way of some form of credit to him, for him to deploy at his discretion in the future.

Let not the sun go down upon your wrath,but remember,things are not what they seem,neither are they otherwise.

Edited 29 Nov 11, 2:27 AM by Cassius

sub rob is a slut

Mmmmmm...not an easy one.

This is a classic femdom dilemma because the 'Mistress' is supposed to be somehow not bothered by sex, so it doesn't matter that you lock the sub/slave up and effectively throw away the key. However, this is not a stance some of us 'Dommes in the real world' with loving relationships want to take because perhaps we love our subs, love having sex, love their cock and so I can see you are in a difficult bind.

I don't think there is any sure fire technique of love making which will ensure he doesn't come by accident.

You can try to use de-sensitising sprays or gels maybe?

Take him out of his device temporarily for an hour per day to teach him by manual teasing how to hold on a bit longer, so you feel you can see his self control has improved.

I think ultimately you have to decide what is most important to you. If love-making and intimacy are more important than the chastity decision, you must change your mind. If keeping to your word is more important than sexual closeness and your own pleasure, then stick to it.

It sounds from the way you emphatically have said that him getting his Christmas present early is not a possibility, so it sounds as if your word and your sense of complete control over him is more important than your own pleasure in your sexual intimacy.

I know that I cannot do without my sub and our sex life. I like his cock and love him in the same way any red blooded woman does. I don't organise his chastity in the way you have outlined because it hinders my pleasure in him. I now take the view that my pleasure and our sex life is more important than chastity games and so only do them in ways which don't stop me from having my fun.

It seems an odd thing that we Mistresses feel in this bind. I know male Dominants would not get themselves in a situation where their sexual pleasure was compromised.

A difference between the sexes and how we view and prioritise sex and intimacy perhaps?

Mistress of @paulss My PD blog at http://mistress-keene.blogspot.com/ http://twitter.com/#!/Mistress_Keene

Edited 29 Nov 11, 6:14 AM by Ms_Valentine

Sometimes we think we want one thing and then we discover we want it a little differently, did you put him in chastity for his pleasure or for yours... whichever of those two options it was you ARE allowed to maintain it or withdraw it, as you wish - if intimacy with him is what you desire, take it, it is his role to please you.

@The_Coven / @The_Problem_Page, you might give the advice that someone needs. / I want the "Moon on a stick and the Stars suspended from bunting". / So many haystacks, so few needles! / Conserve conversation and converse about conservation!

I would heartily recommend it as the frustration is quite enormous.

For Dommes like myself, strap-ons are the absolute antithesis of intimacy. A cock feels like a cock inside a woman and a piece of rubber/plastic feels, well, what it is. They are not the same.

I can see it might be a tease for the sub to be made to fuck his Mistress with a strap on and feel nothing but to my mind, it never can compare in the intimacy stakes to his own cock.

Mistress of @paulss My PD blog at http://mistress-keene.blogspot.com/ http://twitter.com/#!/Mistress_Keene

To the OP: I'm not saying it's right for your relationship,,. but there is the option of leaving your sub in chastity and cuckolding him, meeting your need for physical intimacy with someone else.

WARNING: The above post may contain inaccuracies, irony or downright sarcasm.Not suitable for anyone allergic to nuts.

I'd suggest using local anaesthetic in a condom. Either buy the commercial ones or get local anaesthetic ointment and put inside a usual condom if you want to get a larger dose.

And use a double layer of condoms as well if you want to be more certain. Adds some girth which may be a good or bad thing. Use lots of lubricant if that is a worry, can even by unlubricated condoms for the outer layer so only the lubricant of your choice is in intimate contact with the lady.

But, as said, whether you make love or not should be your call, not his. If you want it, do it. If he is pushing fro it, say no. If you change your mind about when he is allowed to some, that should be your choice too. Not always easy for a sub in chastity to accept, it is a love hate thing, but a good thing for a sub to learn to deal with.

On your promise: Your promise of a 'gift' for Christmas presents a completely different problem...although I think you have an excellent, mind-bending way out of it.

As I mention in my book, I NEVER tell a teased sub exactly when he's going to come. Telling him does two things that are negative:

1) It creates a "requirement" for you to live up to - which you are already getting flack for above. I don't promise anything that I can be held to...every promise has an open switch - an out clause - which I can throw if I choose. I am never bound to do something for my sub...not from the perspective of our power exchange. I never want to feel I HAVE to do something...more importantly, I never want him to feel he has a right to demand something. I do things because I enjoy them and want to...that's my prerogative as a dominant.

2) It lets him know that he should not expect to come anytime before that date...which lessens the impact of any teasing you do. A man with an understanding that he will not have an orgasm will control his libido...whereas a man who is never sure if this time is THE time, will always be piqued - making the denial all the more effective.

As I said, you have a beautiful out with this one: You promised him a Christmas Present of an orgasm - I don't think you promised him the exact timing...On Christmas, hand him a card with his present inside...Written inside, it says you will allow him to orgasm...sometime in the next three months. I guarantee he will be nicely teased if you don't let on that this is your plan - set him up for thinking he gets his 'present' on Christmas and the spin him off again - without going back on your word.

Then don't promise a date anymore! Leave things open ended...offer him "Chances" for orgasm. Make each teasing session seem like he's finally going to get his chance to orgasm - but he never really knows. This makes him unable to protect himself.

On technique: On that subject, in my book, I describe a 'count down' technique whereby my subs learn to orgasm exactly on zero from a countdown. Once they've mastered this technique (and they all can), you can count them down and know EXACTLY where they are in their orgasm cycle. If you stop stimulation at say, 1.5 or 2, they're spun off. If you stop after one, they're ruined. And if you stimulate all the way to zero,they have a great orgasm. BUT to keep them honest, if they don't come at zero, they don't come at all. By never letting on when I will stimulate them all the way to zero, it forces them to be ready to orgasm at zero 'just in case'. They effectively torture themselves!

I use this technique almost all the time...even during intercourse. He knows that if I tell him to pull out,he pulls out immediately - not one stroke more - and that's the end...and if it happens to be as the count down hits two, oh well...poor baby!

- Rika

Edited 29 Nov 11, 12:57 PM by Ms_Rika