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| totallycoverme |
I feel that I've done just about everything on my to do list with regards to S and M and come to think of it, I'm quite bored.
When I started out in BDSM, I was like a kid in a sweet shop playing here there and everywhere. I used to relish the thrill of attending a play event and being paraded/passed around like a piece of meat and getting the opportunity to try lots of new experiences.
I used to crave the humiliation and degradation that would come with certain activities (this is a big part of what turns me on the grand scheme of things...that is to say that I need an undercurrent of these things to make something be mega awesome).
But what now? What now, now that I have tried pretty much most of these things? Where do I go from here? What do I have to do to get the same high and shock factor? Like even something like kneeling used to send a delicious shiver through me...now, it feels more like an act of love (which is mega beautiful in the context of Ds and kneeling for Master but what I'm saying here is that I want something to fill me with shame and anticipation in the way it used to).
I'm 23 and sexually, I'm asking myself "where do I go from here?" (that will sound like I'm trying to sound cool with it but that is definately not the case).
Like off the top of my head, there ARE things that would have an affect on me but I'm not sure if it's wise to go there in that, because I am less easily impressed these days, I don't want to take risks that will give me a new high that will be actually unpleasant. For example, I am curious about being cuckholded but I think this would upset me and/or damage our relationship in the long run. Also, I would love to find public play as thrilling as I once used to but I felt that I got the best out of it as a single lady whereas now it would be different because I wouldn't be in control of exactly how large I could have it (that is to say that my take on S and M is different to Master but that's ok because he is the love of my life).
So yeah, what happens when you're at the point where everything you've done has blown your mind and you want a load of new experiences to blow your mind but you need these new experiences to be ones that won't push you too far?
I hope I'm making sense here because the more I think about this, the mor I confuse myself.
So yeah, I've been there, done that and want advice about what new T-Shirt to buy.
What can I do within S and M to make it as fulfilling as it used to be?
I should perhaps add that Master and I enjoy different things within S and M so maybe that bears some weight on where I'm coming from.
Hmmmm.
Surely I can't be the only one who's had this train of thought?!
Laura 
xx
| 27 Nov 11, 7:02 PM ConsciousnessJunkie UK(N), 5 yrs  |
Uh... Snap? | |
| 27 Nov 11, 7:39 PM Souci_X UK(BA), 5 yrs |
I have, and actually feel really sorry for my current partner because of it. When I was driven by the physical it was fine, I could be a dominants fantasy wanting to try everything, eventually though that became rather hollow. I find now that when i am on this site I feel a little seperate from it, I still identify somewhat with it but at the same time I don't get that same joyus thrill any more. What you are going through now I had for the first time a few years ago. I got myself into a relationship that wanted an awful lot of protocol and I thought 'whats the point' and thats when it snapped a little for me. The next step, for me personally, was a relationship, of course I had them before but now I am engaged, so my focus is no longer just the sex, it is the other stuff the where are we going to live, what are we going to do for christmas, how can I stop being a selfish thrill seeker and start being a part of a whole. Thats a challange, and though I wonder about my dispassion for BDSM I also think where I am going now will probably be a hell of a lot more fulfilling once the right balance is achieved. | |
| 27 Nov 11, 10:40 PM Grownup_Frankie UK, 4 yrs |
Ahha. Stage one. Stage one is where you begin to notice that things have slowed down. Stage two: Panic. Stage three: Resignation. Stage four: Acceptance and release. Stage five: You take up an open university course on minerology. | |
| 27 Nov 11, 11:04 PM tanken UK(NR), 2 yrs |
Only you can decide in which direction to head. For some of us it isn't a question of being a 'kid in a sweetshop' and trying a variety of experiences but rather our own sexual desires sending us the same way time and again.
There are loads of practices I have never tried and I'm sure that even at your young age you have more experience of the variety of bdsm than I do but for me it's just 'in my blood' so to speak so I could never 'move on' to pastures new
For some people it's just a phase and that's fine, for others it is more of a 'sexual orientation' even though it will never be classed as a 'sexual orientation' Happiness is a warm bum | |
| 27 Nov 11, 11:15 PM totallycoverme UK(M), 4 yrs |
interesting points...i think it should be classed as a sexual orientation, especially when it determines the dynamic of relationship that someone might choose to enter. you post has given me a lot of food for thought in that i know S and M is not a phase for me...I know this because it's a really strong gut feeling more than anything and also, i've honestly never had a "vanilla" type fantasy in my life. Hmmmm, so if i'm sitting here thinking "it's not a phase! it's not a phase!" then hmmm, I wonder if it's not so much me needing to try something new but to see how to get the needs that i've always had met.
very thought provoking. thank you It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice |
