This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| 29 Nov 11, 2:28 PM InTheDark US, 6 mths |
I used to bring a lot of kinky girls back to the house. My folks must have heard something! They never brought it up though. Besides, once I happened to find a bullwhip coiled up in the bottom of my parents' closet! That stayed unsaid, too. I find that people can live in seperate worlds, under the same roof. | ||
| 29 Nov 11, 3:42 PM SousCelia UK, 6 mths  |
For me and some of my friends the pendulum has swung so that now we worry about what our children will find out about what we are doing! When they were still at home we were 'good' and carried out our favourite activities on 'away days'. Our bags of tricks were carefully hidden: now they are away (but still capable of popping in unannounced) we have had some 'touch and go' moments as we take less care. We keep quiet about the 'rampant rabbits' etc found in their beds and hope they ignore the odd strap left attached to our bedhead. As yet we have always remembered to sign out and close down the IC webpages! | ||
| 29 Nov 11, 3:52 PM angellover UK(CM), 3 yrs  |
My family know because, I would not want them to not know and then finding out when I am dead, like it was a dirty secret. Also, If I am with a partner then I am not going to stop being respectful to him just because they or we are visiting my family. If we have decided his title and his earned it from my eyes then his being called it... simple!! My family visit hear often and they often see the dungeon and they don't blink an eye lid, for me that's really nice. If I am ever collared then they too would be invited. I can however understand why some folk don't and I respect their choice's but only one man can take my choices away ;~)
The highest fences we have to climb, are those we have built within our mind | ||
| 29 Nov 11, 3:59 PM wonderer UK, 5 yrs |
I wonder if some might feel it's inapropraite, even non-consensual to deceive family members in this sort of way, and let them assume you have a normal sex life when in fact you're a raving pervert and enjoying yourself far too much?  After all they might feel they have a right to know; they might want to express an opinion about your practices; they might feel you were departing from family tradition and expections; they might feel they were affected by your private life. Does it make you a liar and a cheat if you keep it as your "dirty little secret"? Are you in fact "leading a double life"?Really! Going out and enjoying yourself too much without telling your family. Especially children. So often they like to thik parents don't have any sex life. It seems only right and respectful to remain completely celibate so they can sustain that belief without being deceived. (Tongue in cheek response by the way) "Wisdom begins in wonder” (Socrates) | ||
| 29 Nov 11, 4:19 PM perra_diablo UK, 3 yrs |
My daughter and I are both members of I.C., it's not an issue for us but that said in depth discussions are not on the agenda.  | ||
| 29 Nov 11, 5:19 PM Pensub  UK(B), 2 yrs |
I have found this thread interesting because I have had the problem the other way round. (see my profile) When I had to start having to evade questions from my middle aged children about all my late nights out, having always talked honestly about my vanilla activities, I thought I had to do something. After some thought and screwing up of courage I decided to write a letter to each of them beginning "Things you may not know about your father----" giving an outline of what I was doing and ending that "I was still the same person they had always known." I posted them to all three at the same time and awaited the results. It was a complete non event. Not a single comment, although I had said I was happy to discuss it with anyone of them. Now I just say "Sorry I can't come that day as I am in my other world" and it is totally accepted. I am now also much happier in my own mind knowing they will not have the shock of finding out in the event of any accident or similar. | ||
| 29 Nov 11, 5:29 PM Ama_Sidero UK(GU), 7 yrs       |
My family know, as I found it hard to lie about parties, what I got for christmas, etc. They were all ok about it. My mother in law lives with us, and my stepson did. They were NOT really ok with it, so there was (is) an air of disapproval about it all. My partner caved in and doesn't go out on the scene anymore, so I'm the only wicked one. LOL I don't flaunt it and they don't ask.
@Play_Space - Next party is 23 October, Sunday, 5 to Midnight! | ||
| 29 Nov 11, 10:07 PM Meistre UK(NR), 2 yrs |
Which is probably the best option. Unfortunatly I can't reveal anything of my alternative lifestyle to my immediate family except my sister.
She laughed about it but did recommend (quite sensibly) that I might NOT want to mention it to our parents Problem is of course is that a Ds lifestyle outside of the bedroom is a difficult thing to hide especially when the other half is quite open with her family about it all. At some point things probably will clash and when that happens I'll have to fess up, put a profile pick on here and emmigrate to somewhere far away..... There was a fascinating thread on here a long time back after the death of well known an IC member....some heartfelt responses in that thread.... ~ "Play 'angry', never play in anger!" ~ | ||
| 30 Nov 11, 12:26 PM sub121 UK, 5 yrs |
My family are aware of what I do. The morning after a club they say "did you enjoy last night" and I reply "I did thank best not to ask questions". It makes sense to give my family the hotel name and telephone. At least they can have contact in case of emergency. I sometime get the madam whiplash comments/jokes when going to Club Lash. | ||
| 30 Nov 11, 12:42 PM El_Duque 15 mths |
I´m the same as you, Sara, in the sense that my Mum died just over a year ago and she would not have understood or approved of my involvement in BDSM. My Dad knows about it but doesn´t understand it either and doesn´t like it at all, nor does anyone else in my family, which is sad. One or two of my friends do like it and (secretly) admire me for it but most don´t like it and one or two people are so narrow-minded that they don´t want to be my friends any more - their loss
Mi lema: es mejor morir de pie que vivir siempre arrodillado. Edited 30 Nov 11, 12:43 PM by El_Duque |
