erotic embarrassement (11)

We both concluded how lovely it was to be made to blush, however, as I am in a long term relationship, It is difficult for me to experience the level of embarrassment I would like to, due to knowing Sir. ( i am talking about the embarrassment that makes you cringe, that you hate but love at the same time. I like to be made to feel embarassed as it makes me feel more submissive.)

Has anyone else experienced this and if so, have you any tips i can subtly suggest to Sir, that we can incorporate more erotic embarrassment in to our relationship??.

Another thing I enjoy immensely but we dont do much of, is me being referred to in the 3rd person. It makes me feel very humble and almost a non individual. I am not into humiliation,but there is something about that that brings about a sense of humility and is also a huge turn on for me. I am sure this must be extremely common and I have since found out the term used to describe this usage is "illiesm".(I think). I would be grateful to hear other peoples experiences and what it does for you, and i am sure, for those into gorean stuff, its something thats done alot. ( correct me if i am mistaken).

pollyx

Illeism.

What works to embarrass someone is often connected to the self-image s/he usually tries to project. If you normally comport yourself as a pure, dignified flower than the very fact that your Sir knows all your secret kinks (i.e. what you're really like underneath) could potentially be employed in embarrassment play; if you tend to be sexually open, not so much...

'They weren't dreams like ours (in the midst of the darkness, we dreamed of more darkness, because nothing else came into our minds); no, she dreamed - from what we could understand of her ravings - of a darkness a hundred times deeper and more various and velvety.' (Qfwfq)

"Wisdom begins in wonder” (Socrates)
"Imagination is more important than knowledge" (Albert Einstein)
Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est. http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/226772/

i often feel embarrassed, shy and scared to do things i'm told but there is the obvious pleasure from doing them despite my feelings... and i'm just thinking that there is somehow a part of those shy feelings that makes it even better for me.

i was thinking that being ordered to expose yourself implies some third party who will witness your embarrassment. so naturally feeling familiar with your sir will reduce the discomfort. i can see how third person references could be used to heighten the difference between you both and create that sensation of having to overcome your inhibition.

i have some personal experiences that, fittingly, i am too shy to share in this post but i will memo you

XX

I have the more extreme category of humiliation as a limit. I know it would be destructive for me as an individual, and so I simply don't go there. But the milder forms, similar to the ones polly_pocket describes, I actively enjoy. I like being turned into a slut, to be humbled, to become small and to be made to blush. But if someone were to call me worthless, and useless, or ridicule me in more vicious ways, I'd be calling safeword in no time at all.

A friend of mine recently went to a workshop about humiliation. In the course of that workshop, they made a clear distinction between so-called Ordeal Humiliation (as described above), and Sensual Humiliation. The way she described sensual humiliation, it was an almost perfect match for erotic embarrassment.

Now I know this all comes across sounding like another definition thread, but in terms of communication and limits, I think it's an important distinction to make. Now that I'm aware of the concept of Sensual Humiliation, I'd not be so quick to discount the H word, because it could be any number of things.

I suppose that's the point about broad labels. Until you sit down and talk with someone, and find out what they actually mean by humiliation, you can't really say whether you'd be prepared to go through with it or not. Certainly now, rather than just say: "no, that's a limit", I'd be more prepared to explore what type of humiliation a potential play partner might be interested in.

The other side of it is that what is humiliating to one person might not be humiliating to another. Some things I actively enjoy, but don't describe as humiliation, might be considered by some to be the worst and most shameful thing they can do. I suppose it's the same as most psychological D/s; every individual reacts in an individual way, so as always, lots of communication is needed before you start to explore this potentially difficult area.

~Twistee~

Digging for fire

I doubt it

Is the answer for master to lend you to a trusted fellow Dom? This alone may make you blush enough.

Stop trembling start living

x

Quick Lynn, run, they're sex people
@Modified_Bodies
@O_and_P
The Warehouse Saturday 26th November

That's the one that normally does it for me too. I guess we prefer to think of ourselves as nice girls

In the beginning god created man ... that was his first mistake ... everybody knows the lady should always come first
I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices ~ Mark Twaine

This may be just me I dont know but thats my take on it.

As far as being refered to in the third person as Im His pup thats how we always tend to do it, its just become the natural way of doing things.

The art, from my perspective, lies in finding those aspects of someone about which they are proud but shy.

If you are proud of your submission but shy of displaying it in a vanilla setting, then being made to do so in a way too subtle for anyone to obviously notice is likely to lead to erotic embarrassment. If you are proud of your body but shy of being made to display it in certain ways or certain places, then such display is erotically embarrassing.

If simply and directly telling him is not appropriate, and at the risk of being accused of encouraging manipulation or worse – perhaps a little subtle psychology of association?

Step 1. Think of something you do that is in Sir's top 3 turn on's. For the sake of clarity in this explanation, let's say 'Flutter your eyelashes'. In reality it will be something much more directly sexual.

Step 2. Choose the right time. Ask a question about the last occasion EE occurred. Such as “I was thinking about how you ……. - what made you decide to ……?”

Step 3. Then as the conversation commences, with subtlety, begin to 'Flutter your eyelashes'. Keep doing it all the way during the conversation. And after.

Step 4. Keep the conversation going with questions about his perspective and “How did you feel when I…….” Keep 'Fluttering'. Make sure he realises how turned on you are. Make sure he is getting what he wants.

Step 5. If you have chosen well Sir will be very 'receptive'. An association will be building in his mind between “Fluttering Eyelashes” and your Erotic Embarrassment.

Step 6. From then on every time EE occurs, in action or in conversation, 'Flutter your Eyelashes”.

Before long you'll be fluttering your eyelashes at a party and all he will be able to think about is ways to Erotically Embarrass you.

Or as I said, simply tell him.

I expect I've broken some unwritten IC code now.

we are going to try handing me over for some training to another couple(male dom, female sub)and have had the conversation around what we want to try so i am sure being in unfamiliar surroundings with people i trust but am not over familiar with, hopefully there will be plenty of erotic embarrassement!!

am also going to try some of the other things suggested.

thanks all x