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| tangendentalism |
I've had a bit of a realisation today. Since I moved back south I haven't really had a chance to make new friends. This is partially a consequence of rushing off on the train every chance I get and partially to do with the ridiculous amount of work type things I'm doing. I had two fairly personal (not really personal, just not work related) conversations with people (specifically women) today. I missed that. I've missed it so much, without even realising I was missing it. I'm also not really doing anything that isn't work with my time at the moment and it's making me rather dull. These things are undoubtedly having an impact on my emotional state, which is all over the place, which in turn is putting a tremendous pressure on my daddy to be everything for me. Not fair.
Having realised that I need to get out some more (rushing around for work absolutely does not count) and make some proper friends down here, I now need to find cheap (preferably free!) things to do. I have a few prospects friends-wise that I'm going to pursue and some thoughts for things that I can do, but I'm also going to ask daddy to help me to make sure I follow through on my intentions. It's all too easy to become trapped in a cycle of thinking you don't have any time for things or people and then filling the time you (I) do have with nonsense.
It's interesting, now I think about it, that this thought process has come about through thinking about how much my negativity is impacting on my daddy. In a very real sort of sense this is a call for me to take more responsibility for myself, to make sure I'm not putting unreasonable pressure on him. But it's also an opportunity to ask him for the kind of help I know I need to make me a happier person. The motivation to do these things for myself is there, it's just not quite strong enough to make it happen or perhaps to sustain it after the initial burst of energy. By recognising it as something I am doing for him as well as for me I hope I can keep it up. And, assuming he is happy to check up on it with me, I feel much more confident that I will succeed.
| 23 Nov 11, 11:30 PM MisstressvsSolicedog UK(NN), 17 mths |
If your in a new area and if you drive,, get to know the area things your daddy may like instill him with the confidence your not dangling on a string waiting for your grip to fail,, shops supermarkets store's garage part's habadashers etc etc garden centers move about explore,, it will help you know where what is to root you ( er could have put that better ) but explore Please excuse crap spelling cause i,m rubbish | |
| 24 Nov 11, 7:42 AM tangendentalism UK(RG), 17 mths |
But if you don't?? You're right, of course. I don't feel rooted here at all. Part of the problem is that I will only be here for this year, so I haven't felt all that much motivation to situate myself here properly. I can see now that even if it is temporary, I need to make this my home. In the end, nothing you do matters. All that matters is what you do. | |
| 24 Nov 11, 8:27 PM rose_in_chains UK(W), 4 yrs |
Hoping I'm on the 'prospects' list.... Seen less of you since you moved than before... that's mostly down to me and other circumstances, but let's rectify x Twitterati? I'm emilyrose_uk - see you there? |
