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| tangendentalism |
We're working things through. It's difficult, trying to get the balance right, trying to figure out what we each need and want and how we feel about things and trying to fit them together in a way that works for us and makes us both happy. Thank you to everyone who responded to my last couple of blogs - it really does help to have other perspectives.
I think one of the most misleading things about how this sort of process is talked about online is that it seems (perhaps just to me) that it is up to the d-type (of whatever subdivided persuasion) to decide on the direction, to devise a plan and to set it in motion. The s-type's job in that equation is just (ha!) to follow and to accept whatever decisions are made on their behalf.
I don't know if that is really how it works for other people, but I am learning that I need to be a partner in this process for us. He will make the final decisions and will guide us through the process, but I need to actively engage with it and think about our direction and how to help us both be happy.
It sounds like I haven't already been doing that. Of course I have. I just wasn't clear how important that was until now, I think.
We made some real progress tonight, I think. I feel like I've really learnt how to do better, how to communicate better, how to trust that he really is with me better.
Trust. I know that's what it's all about. I am so afraid of my feelings because they are at my core, allowing myself to feel them means being more open than I have ever been. I don't know how to do this. Even though this is all new to him, he is still better at it than me, he is still guiding me.
I'm learning and I'm failing often, but I'm trying again and I'm so grateful that he isn't giving up on me. I love my daddy.
| 22 Nov 11, 9:34 PM Hatari  UK(BN), 6 yrs |
Glad things a sorting themselves out | |
| 22 Nov 11, 9:35 PM rose_in_chains UK(W), 4 yrs |
*like* x Twitterati? I'm emilyrose_uk - see you there? | |
| 22 Nov 11, 9:44 PM Souci_X UK(BA), 5 yrs  |
I adore it when people say things like this. There can be a perception online generally that we should be a certain way in relationships, that to do it differently is wrong. I think it may come from the fact that we are all so often terrified of showing weakness. Truth is that these kinds of relationships are still relationships, all members need to take responsibility for making it work, and there are ups and downs. Good luck to you, I am glad you have had a breakthrough, and I am really glad that you have shared it on here. |
