26 Nov 11, 1:32 PM
spankee_1
UK(BH), 8 yrs
 |
BDSM = bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism....I don't see an F for fetish..but maybe I am speaking too specifically...there is the fet world which is about the dress up rather than BDSM but I do see someone can have a fetish which is involved in BDSM :-/
fitzcaraldo wrote:
Fetish is not BDSM ? Seems to me you have developed an incredibly narrow definition of what you understand BDSM to be about. I probably don't need to expand on what the large majority of scene participants include in their interests , fetish probably being a prime ingrediant. Fitz.
|
|
26 Nov 11, 6:37 PM
fitzcaraldo
UK(BA), 6 yrs
|
spankee_1 wrote:
BDSM = bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism....I don't see an F for fetish..but maybe I am speaking too specifically...there is the fet world which is about the dress up rather than BDSM but I do see someone can have a fetish which is involved in BDSM :-/
fitzcaraldo wrote:
Fetish is not BDSM ? Seems to me you have developed an incredibly narrow definition of what you understand BDSM to be about. I probably don't need to expand on what the large majority of scene participants include in their interests , fetish probably being a prime ingrediant. Fitz.
|
h
|
Yes. I was lying in the bath just now and thinking that BDSM is an inclusive term for what we know as 'The scene'.
So in actual fact the components are many and varied and people choose which ones they select and enjoy. In my experience though, fetishwear, to be more specific, is as much a part of the total experience as anything.
I wouldn't think there are that many that just go for the kinky clothes in isolation. Often the term fetish refers to someone including a particular thing in their repertoire : I'm thinking here perhaps of kinks like A-Bs , they're not covered in the acronym either ! Fitz.
Escaped from the parallel universe
|
26 Nov 11, 8:31 PM
spankee_1
UK(BH), 8 yrs
|
To be exact fetish means: A sexual fixation on a concept, object or body part. A person with a fetish is compelled to use that object in order to get sexual gratification, they can not achieve pleasure with out it.
A fetishist wears fetish clothes, for some it is a definite fetish for others it is just their choice of clothes.
So in the first instance that fetish could be BDSM, but I still see fetish as a separate entity but maybe I am just being pedantic 
fitzcaraldo wrote:
spankee_1 wrote:
BDSM = bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism....I don't see an F for fetish..but maybe I am speaking too specifically...there is the fet world which is about the dress up rather than BDSM but I do see someone can have a fetish which is involved in BDSM :-/
fitzcaraldo wrote:
Fetish is not BDSM ? Seems to me you have developed an incredibly narrow definition of what you understand BDSM to be about. I probably don't need to expand on what the large majority of scene participants include in their interests , fetish probably being a prime ingrediant. Fitz.
|
h
|
Yes. I was lying in the bath just now and thinking that BDSM is an inclusive term for what we know as 'The scene'.
So in actual fact the components are many and varied and people choose which ones they select and enjoy. In my experience though, fetishwear, to be more specific, is as much a part of the total experience as anything.
I wouldn't think there are that many that just go for the kinky clothes in isolation. Often the term fetish refers to someone including a particular thing in their repertoire : I'm thinking here perhaps of kinks like A-Bs , they're not covered in the acronym either ! Fitz.
|
|
26 Nov 11, 8:48 PM
Juantastic
UK(CH), 22 mths
|
spankee_1 wrote:
To be exact fetish means: A sexual fixation on a concept, object or body part. A person with a fetish is compelled to use that object in order to get sexual gratification, they can not achieve pleasure with out it. |
You probably just described BDSM for the majority of its practitioners on here. So shall we just take it as read that BDSM is a fetish?
|
A fetishist wears fetish clothes, for some it is a definite fetish for others it is just their choice of clothes. |
A foot fetishist does not necessarily wear specific clothes. Clothing can be a fetish, but fetishes are not necessarily clothing related.
|
So in the first instance that fetish could be BDSM, but I still see fetish as a separate entity but maybe I am just being pedantic
|
I think of the individual elements of BDSM as being the objectives that those involved are setting out to achieve. How they manage it covers a multitude of possibilities, and crossing over into a number of activities. Naked gardening could be used as a form of sadism (as humiliation) therefore BDSM crosses over into gardening. Taking your slave to Sainsburys on a collar and lead crosses BDSM into shopping. Having your sub watch you have sex with someone else crosses BDSM into partner swapping. Of course people are free to think of partner swapping as something other than 'swinging', but I'm equally entitled to see them as being in denial.Edited 26 Nov 11, 8:52 PM by Juantastic
|
26 Nov 11, 8:51 PM
ClassAct2005
UK(N), 7 yrs
|
I think the word fetish means a sort of obssession with one thing eg get off only when wearing women's tights or got a thing about sex against piano legs. Whereas I would say if you want a D/s relationship that's not really what I'd call a fetish. I'd say that was your fundamental sexuality. |
26 Nov 11, 8:57 PM
spankee_1
UK(BH), 8 yrs
|
It could be classed as a fetish if you have to have it to gain sexual gratification?
ClassAct2005 wrote:
I think the word fetish means a sort of obssession with one thing eg get off only when wearing women's tights or got a thing about sex against piano legs. Whereas I would say if you want a D/s relationship that's not really what I'd call a fetish. I'd say that was your fundamental sexuality.
|
|
27 Nov 11, 9:38 AM
Gabriel_angelika
UK, 3 yrs
|
To return to the OP.....
I think there can be a lot of crossover between BDSM and swinging... The club we attend most often atm is Kage, which is held in a swingers club but is most definately Fet... For a while the inimitable DtB also ran an event called Kaleidoscope, in the same club, which attempted to cross the boundary between the two by being 'a swing-friendly fet club'... We went once and quite enjoyed it, I think her exhibitionist side got off on having strange men wanking while we played lol!
One of these days we might just stay behind after Kage and see what happens when it reverts to a 'normal' swinger's club
Talking of which, it's Kage today....  No one said it would be easy
Did anyone tell you the road would be straight and long?
Relax your mind and give it all to me
'Cause you know and I know
Our love is strong enough...
|
29 Nov 11, 5:42 PM
Lady_Lucan
UK(L), 4 yrs |
I just wish sex*, WS and splosh were more welcome at BDSM clubs.
The rest I can do at home
*Exhibitionist sex, obv. There are no subjects except by and for their subjection. That is why they 'work all by themselves' (Althusser)
|
29 Nov 11, 5:46 PM
Caelum
UK(HP), 7 yrs
|
I initially read this thread title as 'BDSM and Swimming'.
Breast stroke and front crawl seemed to fit the theme, I wasn't so sure about the 'dolphin' or 'butterfly' though.
I should have gone to specsavers.
whosthatgirl wrote:
BDSM and Swinging Part II
Well someone had to do it
Mistress_Armani wrote:
I have been discussing this issue with some scene friends recently and wondered how many of us thought that the two scenes can work together or is it that SM players never swing and vice versa?
|
This opened up quite a wide and interesting (well to me anyway) discussion, including completely conflicting opinions as to whether or not swinging is completely vanilla. To be honest, I'm not sure, it doesn't seem so to me... but then I'm not to bothered about labels either.
So... any more thoughts on the subject?
|
|
29 Nov 11, 6:15 PM
redcat
9 yrs
|
theres cross over...
but on the whole if you wan't to claim S&M play isn't sexual a BDSM club is for you
If you like a bit of S&M with your swinging go for a BDSM night in a fetish club
If you want to put your sub down on the floor and have her fucked by a succession of strangers a night in a swingers club that encourages single males is just the ticket (becoming few and far between)
If you want vanilla swinging with some talk in the bar about B&Q as opposed to S&M.. try a couples night in a swingers club.
Basically there are too many sexual prudes in the BDSM community and too many boring fucks in a swingers club.
(and no i havn't read all the threads... life is just too short)
Buy a copy of Beyond the Circle
CAAN statement of principle.
|
