This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| Mon 21 Nov 11, 4:59 PM rachhh UK, 6 mths  |
So, I am pretty new to the scene. I have been interested in and personally enjoyed all aspects for some time now. However, I do feel as though I do need to explore my sub self fully. Are there any tips/advice you would give to someone who really hasn't explored at all? | ||
| 21 Nov 11, 5:42 PM Gentledom14 UK(CA), 6 yrs     |
Take your time to find the right person for yourself. Someone who will explore your kinks at your pace. There is no rulebook just do what feels right for you “Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” | ||
| 21 Nov 11, 5:46 PM The_Dark_Prince UK(WR), 4 yrs  |
Same advice I'd give to anyone new. Get out and meet people. Talk to as many people as possible to get a variety of views. Take your time and don't get pressured by anyone. Enjoy and have fun. It can be very rewarding when it works out. ETA - And always be safe Be the change you want to see in the world. - Gandhi. Edited 21 Nov 11, 5:47 PM by The_Dark_Prince | ||
| 21 Nov 11, 5:52 PM redvixen75 UK, 8 mths |
same as what's been said, take your time, be very careful etc but use sites like this to read and learn, get a feel for what you might want etc and then go slow when you meet someone be sure you talk through everything with them and be totally honest all the time.
try to relax and enjoy yourself
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| 21 Nov 11, 5:52 PM WayneKing  UK(SE), 2 yrs |
No-one is your Dom until you agree to submit to them. There will be some that believe that because you are a sub that they can treat you as if they are your Dom. You may be a sub but you are not their sub until you wish to be.
Please check out the Anthony Nolan register | ||
| 21 Nov 11, 5:53 PM calmhands UK, 2 yrs |
Same advice again from me. Get out and meet people, talk to other femsubs and build a good support network. ch x Bring me back to me.. | ||
| 21 Nov 11, 5:55 PM Belasarius UK(M), 8 yrs     |
Keep exploring. Read lots here. Take every opinion you read or hear with a large pinch of salt and asess how you feel about what you've read/been told: If it rings true to you, it probably is; for you... now. Summon up the courage to go to a munch and meet people. You'll suddenly realise just how not alone you are. Remember that many of my persuasion will see you as fresh meat and attempt to make you their latest temporary or permanent conquest. At that point, remember that the power is yours. Until you give it up. Remember that the power is always yours - to give up on that person if the relationship or dynamic does not do what you hoped it would. But, for me, if you had given yourself, your submission, within your limits, would need to be constant, not fair weather and something you'd have the grace to embrace consistently, whilst the relationship survived. This, of course, is a personal view.
My goal - to save women from nature (Dior) | ||
| 21 Nov 11, 6:20 PM DeCoverley UK(GL), 4 yrs |
There's the truth. You've just advertised your presence as a new, young sub, probably rather naïve (not meant offensively) and ripe for the plucking. You'll already have received several private memos since making this post. Take your time, chat to people, don't go meeting anybody for play any time soon!
Errmmm… not that you will in Inverness anyway
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| 21 Nov 11, 6:26 PM Shypeachybottom UK, 20 mths |
^^ wot she said Also, I would suggest attending one of the femsubclub events. Unless you are quite courageous, try to meet up with some folks beforehand otherwise any event is a bit nerve-wracking - there is often a Scottish contingent coming down (liaise with @Bonhanza) And try to attend a munch And read lots - with a pinch of salt - to get a bit more of a sense of what 'feels' appealing or unappealing to you Look at the posts of people, and try to get a feel for those people who make comments that resonate with you, and chat with them (on a friendly basis, rather than a 'looking for a dom' basis) so that you get to know more folks
Good luck There's a somebody I'm longing to see, I hope that he turns out to be, someone to watch over me Edited 21 Nov 11, 6:27 PM by Shypeachybottom | ||
| 21 Nov 11, 6:31 PM Xafar UK(S), 12 yrs £    |
yes... ignore every memo you get from a man in the next two months... and i do not mean reply with a polite decline... i really do mean ignore... spend those two months reading as much as you can and asking questions in threads that take your attention... and decide for yourself who is worth your time and attention when those two months are up... do not think that just because someone has been here five years or nine years or eleven years on this site that they are typing sense... it really is no guarantee of anything... and last of all... have fun and enjoy the life... a lot of people on are really nice and talk sense... this is the only bdsm site i have time for these days... Mac
"Me Man Whore... You Jane..." | ||
| 21 Nov 11, 6:31 PM calmhands UK, 2 yrs |
Possibly the best advice yet. ch x Bring me back to me.. |
