18 Nov 11, 9:14 AM
valleyrose17
UK(BS), 2 yrs
 |
well maybe thats why (or because?) I'm a nice fluffy sub and you're a nasty mean Dom. Horses for courses and all that.
xx
AshUK wrote:
valleyrose17 wrote:
He understood this and said that one day she would just be a used quivering wreck - no good to herself or noone else - but was still interested enough to want to play with her and play hard. I questioned whether he thought he should have a part in her downfall and his view was: she is of consenting age and if she says yes, well then that is enough for me.
|
I see your point - but for me this borders on issues of personal responsibility . I'm responsible for me, no-one else. If I consent to something and I get hurt, then that's my problem . I'm not going to whinge, complain or look for someone to sue .
I expect the same philosophy to apply to people I play with . If I ask you ' can I punch you in the face ? ' and you say no, then it doesn't happen . If you say 'yes' - then ( as my tagline says ) it's a case of ' pow ! Right in the kisser ! '
|
"Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed" Michael Pritchard
"Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall in love with a gorgeous redhead" - Lucille Ball
|
18 Nov 11, 9:16 AM
River_Deep
UK, 6 yrs
|
AshUK wrote:
I see your point - but for me this borders on issues of personal responsibility . I'm responsible for me, no-one else. If I consent to something and I get hurt, then that's my problem . I'm not going to whinge, complain or look for someone to sue .
I expect the same philosophy to apply to people I play with . If I ask you ' can I punch you in the face ? ' and you say no, then it doesn't happen . If you say 'yes' - then ( as my tagline says ) it's a case of ' pow ! Right in the kisser ! '
|
I do not want to turn your blog in a one of personal responsibility as this is written as a piece of fiction, but you have the mental stability (no sniggering at the back) to choose, they do not - this is the difference and just saying "cos they said yes it is ok" is no defence to that.
edited cos my brain is in reverse...again.
It is not what you say or do but the way you say or do it
Edited 18 Nov 11, 9:18 AM by River_Deep
|
18 Nov 11, 10:04 AM
AshUK
UK(EN), 7 yrs
£
|
River_Deep wrote:
I do not want to turn your blog in a one of personal responsibility as this is written as a piece of fiction, but you have the mental stability (no sniggering at the back) to choose, they do not - this is the difference and just saying "cos they said yes it is ok" is no defence to that.
|
I do see your point - trust me, I do - but where I struggle with this is how am I supposed to know if someone has mental stability or not ?
So I meet a girl in a bar. I ask if she wants to play. She says yes. I tell her I play hard, and ask if she's ok. She says yes. I ask if she's ok with being hit repeatedly in the face. She says yes.
What further steps am I ( reasonably ) supposed to take before proceeding ? Should I phone her ex boyfriends and ask for references re. her mental stability ? Should I drag her to hospital and get a psychiatrist to give her the once over ? Should I ask her for her life history to see if she's cuckoo ?
Of course if she gives signs of being crazy ( or what we in the business call a little bit ' martine ') - then I'd proceed with caution - or not at all. But if she seems fine and I play with her, then am I really at fault if I find out later that she has a history of mental issues and wasn't really capable of giving consent ?
Whereas the concept of personal responsibility is brutally simple. I'm responsible for knowing my own sanity; no-one else's. " Pow ! Right in the kisser ! "
|
18 Nov 11, 10:15 AM
valleyrose17
UK(BS), 2 yrs
|
I agree with your example Ash which goes to show that there are no hard and fast rules - and that we have to go with the information available to us at the time.
As long as we don't use personal responsibility as an excuse to use people who we KNOW are vulnerable.
It's all got a bit confusing because i think most people would agree that the girl in this story was being abused but then the story is just that - fiction. "Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed" Michael Pritchard
"Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall in love with a gorgeous redhead" - Lucille Ball
|
18 Nov 11, 11:14 AM
River_Deep
UK, 6 yrs
|
AshUK wrote:
River_Deep wrote:
I do not want to turn your blog in a one of personal responsibility as this is written as a piece of fiction, but you have the mental stability (no sniggering at the back) to choose, they do not - this is the difference and just saying "cos they said yes it is ok" is no defence to that.
|
I do see your point - trust me, I do - but where I struggle with this is how am I supposed to know if someone has mental stability or not ?
So I meet a girl in a bar. I ask if she wants to play. She says yes. I tell her I play hard, and ask if she's ok. She says yes. I ask if she's ok with being hit repeatedly in the face. She says yes.
What further steps am I ( reasonably ) supposed to take before proceeding ? Should I phone her ex boyfriends and ask for references re. her mental stability ? Should I drag her to hospital and get a psychiatrist to give her the once over ? Should I ask her for her life history to see if she's cuckoo ?
Of course if she gives signs of being crazy ( or what we in the business call a little bit ' martine ') - then I'd proceed with caution - or not at all. But if she seems fine and I play with her, then am I really at fault if I find out later that she has a history of mental issues and wasn't really capable of giving consent ?
Whereas the concept of personal responsibility is brutally simple. I'm responsible for knowing my own sanity; no-one else's.
|
I totally agree with this example and this is why I did not want to turn this blog into a personal thing. As Valleyrose has said it is THIS girl that we have said is being abused because unlike the example above she was known to be vulnerable. You would not know this about the girl in the bar. She is not going to say "Yes I am a fuck head but it is ok to still hit me" is she now? Hmm well maybe if it was some off here  , but you know what I mean It is not what you say or do but the way you say or do it
|
18 Nov 11, 6:43 PM
Crystal_Eyes
UK, 5 yrs
  |
AshUK wrote:
River_Deep wrote:
I do not want to turn your blog in a one of personal responsibility as this is written as a piece of fiction, but you have the mental stability (no sniggering at the back) to choose, they do not - this is the difference and just saying "cos they said yes it is ok" is no defence to that.
|
So I meet a girl in a bar. I ask if she wants to play. She says yes. I tell her I play hard, and ask if she's ok. She says yes. I ask if she's ok with being hit repeatedly in the face. She says yes. What further steps am I ( reasonably ) supposed to take before proceeding ?
|
For me personally, agreeing to 'play hard' (face-punches, GodKnowsWhatElse etc) with a man you've literally just met in a bar would in & of itself indicate a certain level of, if not mental instability, a definite sense of irresponsibility and carelessness for her own safety.
Of course it isn't your responsibility to 'look after her', but if you choose to get involved with someone that apparently unstable, you've only got yourself to blame if/when it goes horribly wrong.
------------------------------------------
"Oh bother" said the Borg; "We've assimilated Pooh."
|
