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| Clodmin |
on Sun 13 Nov 11, 8:13 PM to Clodmin's blog.
Ultraviolent porn gets me rock fucking hard because I'm a cruel, evil piece of shit who will destroy your life and then laugh about it because I don't care about anyone or anything. I play by my own rules. I've written some porn to that effect. I really hope you like it. Here goes. Be gentle, and be sure to fuck me if you like my work.
*****
I meet you in a bar. You're wearing a black dress and some other clothes too. Shoes as well, I would imagine. I'm wearing a suit, because I'm a stylish man. A crisp tuxedo and jagged leather shoes. My strong, masculine chin is peppered with way more stubble than I can muster in real life. There's tons of the stuff. Fuck, I probably drive a Lambo too.
Actually, it's a casino, not a bar. You're stood at the other side of the roulette table, nursing a martini back to health and looking bored of the game. A stray wisp of hair dances like a marionette on the ledge of your cheek but you don't blow it away. Coins pour like water from a slot machine nearby and some appropriate-sounding music rattles faintly through the ceiling speakers, like a well-chosen similie, setting the mood and deftly contextualising the scene.
The dealer deals me in, because it's his job to do so, and I order a tall whisky in a short glass. Some of it spills over the lip. I bet on black. Not in a racist way, though. I bet on red just to be clear about that. I win. There are butterflies in your stomach, lurching into the sides as you watch my smooth, manicured hands be expertly relocated by long, confident arms. I scratch my dick and adjust my belt, hoping no-one noticed. The butterflies regress into caterpillars and waddle their way through your bowels.
I leave my winnings at the table, ask you if you've played poker before. “I'm unbeatable,” I tell you. You raise an eyebrow. I raise an eyebrow. You raise another eyebrow. I fold. My hand was weak and I need to keep one eyebrow for the taxi home.
“Can I spike you a drink?” I reply. It's a bar again, not a casino.
“Yes,” you enquire, leaning forward on your stool. The stool is thick in consistency but this movement breaks it apart and some falls off your chair. The smell is intense.
I punch you in the face and drag you into the back of a cab. The driver adjusts his mirror to get a better look down my top.
Suddenly, we wander up the steps toward my front door. Actually, let's say we wander down the driveway for a while first; that makes my house sound bigger. Maybe the guard buzzes us through and we wander through some gates. Anyway, yeah, we're doing that. You're totally intoxicated with love and to some extent Martini, and a miscalculation in Rohypnol dosages has you drooling uncontrollably at the thought of my awesome cock. The gravel crunches beneath my jagged leather shoes and clicks beneath your pointed heels. We pass an elaborate stone fountain, which I don't even remark upon because I'm used to seeing it, because it's mine. Several impressive Bentleys scroll past. I think about the long, protracted sexual experience to which I am about to subject you, and this causes my genitals to become sensually engorged with anger and blood.
Slowly and tenderly, I ejaculate into my tuxedo trousers, closing the suit jacket to obscure my spunky cummerbund. I apologise, sexily, and you lose yourself in my slowly-closing eyes.
I wake up somewhere further down the driveway, a couple of minutes' walk from my imposing oak door. I wonder if the taxi has left yet, and whether I can persuade you to get back in it.
*****
Inside the house, the mood had changed.
He was angry. She could tell. There was something about the way he punched her in the face and neck.
“Is something wrong?” She asked, her mouth opening and closing mechanically around the fleeing words.
“Wasn't I the protagonist?” I ask, rectifying her sloppy confusion of tense.
“Sorry,” she asks. I punch her in the cunt.
Or, I punch you in the cunt. Wait, which one am I? Anyway, the way you're sitting there is pissing me off so I gnaw off one of your little titties and mail it to your Grand-parents in Sudan. You writhe around on the floor for a while, while all the while I while away the while thinking of something sexy and consensual to do with your corpse.
I pull out my cock. “Suck it.”
“Suck what?”
“My cock.”
“Shit. Sorry. I didn't see it there. I thought you wanted me to suck your fly. I was like, what?”
We share a brief chuckle at this hilarious but profoundly emasculating misunderstanding, then I scalp you with a bread-knife and potty-train my children in your hollowed-out skull. This only turns you on more and you're like, oh my god, definitely fuck me and stuff, but I chastise you for talking about sex while there are underage persons in the room, then swiftly usher them next door. Seriously, have some fucking discretion, what are you, sick in the head? Jesus.
Anyway, what's left of your head starts to give me a pretty mind-blowing suck-job, your limp, sinewless jaw clattering up and down the shaft of my cock like a puppet falling down stairs.
“God you're so fucking amazing,” you tell me, as I spoon your liver into a 1920s washing mangle and wind the handle in broad, slow turns. One of your eyes is lolling about on the table, staring longingly at me with what looks like love. The other one is in a jar full of formaldehyde, slowly pickling in a cupboard on the wall. “Fuck my stupid worthless cunt.”
“You don't need to tell me twice,” I ask! “Pardon me?”
“I said fuck my cunt.”
“Right.” I push my little cock inside you and waggle it around, overpowering your pussy with my heavy thrusts. You let out a quick, generous moan each time my nearly hardened tower of flesh touches the edge of your vagina and when I order you to come, you tell me that you just did.
“This does not surprise me,” I say. “I would not be surprised if you came several times... Did you?”
“Sure.”
“Sweet.” I spoon you into a coffee grinder and it pulverises you into a fine grey dust. I pour the dust into a large latex mould, add some boiling water and then compress your ashen remains for several hundred thousand years into a diamond sex-doll, which my ancestors periodically defile.
Afterwards, you tell me how evil yet amazing I am, and press '1' on your phone.
The woman at A&E recognises your voice. You order the usual, then book a few weeks off work. You smile. I look away. You pick up your skirt and one of your socks, searching for the other one amongst the rubble of our lust. I pour myself a whiskey and tell you to leave.
Edited Wed 7 Dec 11, 5:25 AM by Clodmin
| 13 Nov 11, 8:16 PM twilightsilence UK(ME), 16 mths |
I'm not sure if this is the reaction you want but I properly laughed out loud reading this. Classic! Take me on a journey and keep me safe on our travels.... | ||
| 13 Nov 11, 8:19 PM Rhoobarb UK(FK), 12 yrs |
I've lusted after you for ages. This has just added to the intrigue  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | ||
| 13 Nov 11, 8:25 PM mia  UK(M), 4 yrs       |
8/10. More reward charts next time. x Quick Lynn, run, they're sex people | ||
| 13 Nov 11, 8:25 PM Attitude_Adjuster UK(N), 6 yrs |
hot. you sir, are a genius. I thought the interplay between tenses challenges our perspectives of gender identity and self, in a way unique within the genre of mutilation porn.
And all men kill the thing they love, By all let this be heard, Some do it with a bitter look, Some with a flattering word, The coward does it with a kiss, The brave man with a sword! | ||
| 13 Nov 11, 8:45 PM Hells_Bells UK(G), 7 yrs |
You promised you wouldn't blog about this. Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. ~ Groucho Marx | ||
| 13 Nov 11, 8:51 PM Corwin UK(L), 11 yrs |
That's the best thing I've read in ages, truly impressive! If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see | ||
| 13 Nov 11, 8:57 PM Shypeachybottom UK, 20 mths |
It does leave the reader absolutely speechless. And eyebrows raising in sympathy of course. There's a somebody I'm longing to see, I hope that he turns out to be, someone to watch over me | ||
| 13 Nov 11, 9:01 PM hollythedolly UK(NN), 2 yrs  |
Where are the dynamic duo when you need them to save the souls of IC | ||
| 13 Nov 11, 9:07 PM Clodmin UK(OX), 3 yrs |
God this is so fucking hot. I can't keep my hands off the area where my dick should be. Whoever wrote this is like a fucking sexual genius, but with a bigger brain and willy. Jesus. I came so hard there were teeth in my spunk. Here are some small words for you to look at. Aren't they tiny! | ||
| 13 Nov 11, 9:18 PM Richtea UK(BN), 2 yrs  |
I grinned out loud and outside. Very funny stuff. "Me and Kevin, we're just not the same" |
