What is "sexual"? (41)

I do this a lot. It's not a sexual act, it's an attempt at getting my body to shut up so I can get some sleep

For me, the whole defining point of "sexual" is a mental thing, a feeling. So I can be physically horny, but mentally not (which leads to the non-sexual masturbation :P). Or I can be feeling mentally sexual but not be turned on.

As a continuation, this means that (to me) anything and everything can be sexual, and it doesn't mean that sex itself is inherently sexual. I have quite definitely had non-sexual sex. Sure, sexual can (and often does, for me) lead to sex, but I can have one without the other.

As for defining what this mental feeling is... This is where I get stuck. It's just a feeling, okay?! :P BDSM is mostly sexual for me, but it's also a challenge, a way to push both myself and my boy.

“When Rabbit said, 'Honey or condensed milk with your bread?' he was so excited that he said, 'Both,' and then, so as not to seem greedy, he added, 'But don't bother about the bread, please.'”

"It's all about sex" and "It's all about control" are both valid views of different parts of the spectrum.

Sexuality cuts across everything we do, but "Sex" and "Control" are not mutually exclusive, nor are they a function of the other. Sexuality and control, sex and sexuality.

I am in that part of the spectrum - the one in which I feel most at home - where this is about control. I am a hunter, a predator, capable of marking out prey and taking a girl to bed. If I want sex... I can get sex. Whether the girl knows she's been hunted or controlled, means little to me. But that is empty. She, is not submitting.

I want the submission of my prey. I want the control which comes with that. I will have her do as I wish, be my target, my bunny. I will leave her in no doubt as to the higher place I will take her to, at my will. And... if I also choose, I will have sex with her.

Other people live in different parts of that spectrum and they are who they want to be. I do not judge, nor should they attempt to judge me.

I hope that my sexuality is always clear. I hope that other parts of my nature are clear too.

I am not (a) into girls so I'd need a man there in charge to have any sexy effect and (b) it's just a bit frightening in a not good way and (c) the shop dummies don't look flesh and blood real so aren't erotic. I suppose the concept that she's made into one of them - Stepford wife analogy at the end is an interesting twist.

If the brain's pleasure centre is triggered by stimulation of the mind it is erotic, if it's by stimulation of the senses then it's sensual and if it's by stimulation of the genitalia then it's sexual.

Michelle

Trussed UK (shop) ~****~ Thoughts on BDSM (resource)

Fair enough but all are connected. My brain is stimulated by a fantasy. This heightens my senses. My genitalia become stimulated and I get an erection.

Now this is just the fantasy side of things. It can also be the presence of a woman, her look, her voice, her touch, her kiss or she may just grab me by the genitalia as one domme has done in the past

Happiness is a warm bum

Let's all play nicely people.. Just remember.. This is meant to be fun!
"The art of being a gentleman is knowing when not to be..."

Yes, there's nothing as unsexy as a "sex" act which is mere hydraulics without meaning. (Hydraulics may not be the best word for the female equivalent but you know what I mean; scratching an itch rather than doing something intense and meaningful).

"Wisdom begins in wonder” (Socrates)
"Imagination is more important than knowledge" (Albert Einstein)
Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est. http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/226772/

Like Bill Clinton, for example

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Yep that's how it is for me too.

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
Crawley Munch
DV8 XS Kent

Just as an aside,and not wishing to derail this thread.

As it happens I do believe that PDs are offering bdsm which will very often, although not always have a highly sexual content.

Firstly though this is not offering sexual services. I do not service anyone, they service me, if indeed, service is being had anywhere in the equation.

I have never worn fetish or overtly sexualised clothing for my sessions and in thirteen years I have been busy and successful without going down the fetish clothes route. I wear clothes I would wear normally during the day or clothes I feel relaxed and comfortable in.

I don't call my fee anything but a fee, a professional payment for my time.

You appear to know very little of Professional Domination but seem, as so many, to have a lot to say about it.

You seem to assume PDs all equate sexual activities and fun with shame and so worry about guilt. I don't. I am proud of what I do and have done for thirteen years. I have self esteem and some of it is connected to my pleasure and pride in being a good Domme and having had such good fun with my subs over the years.

The PDs you speak of may well exist but so do many other types, highly educated, eloquent, self aware women happy to be paid for something they love doing and are good at.

We know all the arguments people make, rudely judging us and what we do, putting their own moral slants on our lives and nothing anyone else says on IC will ever make me regret the good times I have had.

An Escort is going to be better at having sexual intercourse for money than I am and I will be better at dominating men for money. Sexual arousal may occur in both situations but they are not the same thing on the basis of that fact.

Mistress of @paulss My PD blog at http://mistress-keene.blogspot.com/ http://twitter.com/#!/Mistress_Keene