What is "sexual"? (41)

I rapidly came to the conclusion that different people mean very different things by the word. I suppose literally, it's about gender difference and reproduction, and in the animal world it's just that, but amongst humans? Well I guess you could call anything more than reproduction "perversion" (and some of us will be happy with that tag).

In some ways, "sexual" is something it's easier to know when you feel it than it is to define. I suppose in many ways sexuality is a social construct, and so what counts as sexual (as well as what you find is sexy) depends on your social group.

So - how would you define "sexual" - and what's the relationship between BDSM and sexuality for you?

WARNING: The above post may contain inaccuracies, irony or downright sarcasm.Not suitable for anyone allergic to nuts.

I think it's different for everyone, sometimes genuinely people don't find BDSM etc sexual. However sometimes I think it can be a bit that they're just trying to kid themselves. Perhaps I've just talked to too many people for whom they are just trying to justify not telling their wives!

For me, everything related to BDSM and Fetish is sexual. It's just all a big old sexy game which is rather fun. Hence I have no desire to make it my entire life (to me that would be weird, I find the idea of living your entire life as some kind of sexual fantasy a bit hard going) and I can quite happily live without it (the body doesn't need sexy-time to survive).

It's quite interesting though, the ways that people view the same activities.

Edited 11 Nov 11, 8:53 AM by ConsciousnessJunkie

Both? Only both?

"Fork handles?" "No, not 'fork handles' ... four candles."

Most of it!

There are occasions when I'm given a sub to tie up at a munch or club, and they can end up as quite sexy, but not sensual/sexual. for that I have to be more involved.

All the other times though...

Owner of The Croppery Dungeon and Breakfast. Organises The St Leonards munch.

I seem to be able to experience different types of orgasms, from just being dominated, from pain alone, or from sexual acts. The orgasms arising from combinations of the three are pretty mind-blowing.

Anyone seen a unicorn lately?

I hadn't thought of that - and I realise that for those animals, sex can be about power, about dominance in their peer group - or is it vice versa - only the dominant get to reproduce?

WARNING: The above post may contain inaccuracies, irony or downright sarcasm.Not suitable for anyone allergic to nuts.

Even things that don't involve physical touching such as fantasies can nevertheless produce hormones in the body that give feelings of sexual pleasure and arousal. How many times does the average person think about something sexual in a day?

If you consider that food & drink, clothing, and shelter are the basic needs of the individual then sex is undoubtedly the most basic need of the human species. In the modern world all these basic needs are a lot more complicated than just bread and water and a hut to live in. So also is modern sex complicated too

Happiness is a warm bum

But BDSM is all about the sexual aspect. Some may state it is a purely mental dynamic with no real sexual side to it but that is just a crock. We are all driven by the sexual aspect and imagery, even power exchange has its place as determining who controls who and for what within the sexual arena.

While we may live in a society that conditions us to perform and live our lives for the good of our comunity, each person expected to help maintain our society and work for it, we are like all living things. Our driving force is sex, spread the genes, procreate and ensure the continuation of the species. So we are smart enough to realise we can do other things as well but our natural programming will always default to a sexual aspect when it can and drive us to be active and interested sexually for as long as possible.

You cant fight nature, embrace it

11.11.11. We will remember them. If it doesn't fit, force it!

I rather liked your own definition.