Male Chastity - what's in it for the Lady? (36)

Plus it's the flip side of my usual sadism, I like the contrast of cold hard bitch and sensual warm caring Domme.

When my partner is in chastity I not only find him paying more attention to me, but I pay more attention to MYSELF.

It's almost like early days of courting. I make sure I'm dressing up and flirting with him to make his predicament all the more punishing.

We tend to use it as an extended foreplay, 2 weeks and my pet starts to get edgy and depressed, no matter how I keep him stimulated or "entertained" (we've been working with chastity for over 5 years, so lots of experimenting)

With any other slaves under my care or being keyheld by me, it's completely different.

I benefit from having them thinking of me 24/7 in my absence, and the control is in a much more physical format.

Do be careful though. Make sure you really want her to get interested. 5 years ago I was a pregnant stay-at-home mother, now I'm a working Pro-Domme with a wonderful social life and an every increasing interest in cuckolding

www.MistressWatchful.com Owner of Chastity Mansion ~ www.chastitymansion.com rated 95% by Kinky Britain www.kinkybritain.co.uk/kinky/?cat=12 House Domme & Hostess at Pure ~ www.pureadultfun.co.uk

Knowing that someone is suffering sexually for me makes me incredibly horny and my orgasms, especially if they are in the presence of someone who is chaste for me, are considerably increased pleasure wise.

Of course there is the psychological control aspects, the fact that it brings us really close together... etc... etc...

I get nothing out of locking up a man who cannot control himself honourably without a device. That is boring as the sub is not really submitting,just being forced. Forced submission is to me about as meaningless as it gets.

However using a device as a symbolic representation of my power and control is wonderful and very sexy. He is locked away and no one can touch him but me.

I like it being a part of a huge tease and denial dynamic for a while.

We use a chastity device for whenever he is not in my company. So, he wears it to work every day and at home if I go out and leave him alone. I like how he obediently fits himself in when I go out. It is such a lovely respectful thing and it reminds him just who controls his cock.

Mistress of @paulss My PD blog at http://mistress-keene.blogspot.com/ http://twitter.com/#!/Mistress_Keene

Personally I never use a device, hence my reference to it being a trust issue to, as well as one of profound respect.

Devices do nothing for me, in fact they leave me cold!

Well, fair enough, I can see that if devices turn you off then why would you use them?

Both p and I are toy junkies. I love all different kinds of chastity devices and we have several and will purchase more I am sure.

I can trust paul 100% so I have no 'need' for a device.If I stopped him wearing them tomorrow he wouldn't dream of touching his cock without permission. I would miss them though as we really do have a shared interest in them.

Mistress of @paulss My PD blog at http://mistress-keene.blogspot.com/ http://twitter.com/#!/Mistress_Keene

That is certainly something that you will have to ask her.

What each person gets from something will vary enormously, although often, we do not find an understanding of what we get from something until we actually explore.

At one time, chastity didn't really feature on "my list", it didn't particularly hold much interest for me until I really began exploring it with someone. In doing so, I discovered all of the joys of chastity and found all of the needs that it fulfilled in me. It certainly changed my interest in that area which I hadn't really known before exploring.

I could have explored and hated it. I could have explored and found that I didn't get anything from it. In which case, it isn't something that I would then do.

Communicate. Explore. It really is the only way we find out.

^^^ I have to agree with the above in terms of the man controlling himself without the need for a device, that is something that is very much the case for me. However, I also like devices, I like the image, the use of them, and that in using them, they can also be used to meet my own personal sadistic needs in making him suffer for my own pleasure!

Control is the main thing I get from it. The level of control it gives me and in the ways it gives it to me. It goes above and beyond just meeting any sexual desire or need. I don't do it for him, because he wants to, or because it is what he wants. (Although I don't have a problem if it is what he wants!) I do it for the reasons that I choose or want to, for what it gives to me, the level of control that it gives me and all the things that it brings to me and also into the relationship. I like the intimacy that it can bring. But ultimately I do it because I love it! I love the control of it!

I get other things from it too ~ I like to witness psychological changes that a man goes through in his denial. The way it alters his feelings, changes his patterns of behaviour, but also his attentitiveness. I like how you can use chastity to change and control these feelings and behaviours too.

For me, it isn't about long term denial of orgasms, (although I don't think a few months is too long) but I don't have a desire to move towards celibacy as that isn't what I want. Instead I want control over his body, the release that he may be granted and when and in what way. I like to deny just because I can, to push, to stretch, to tease and deny. To keep him simmering like a saucepan on a low heat, knowing that it keeps his interest, his drive and his longing.

It also fulfils needs for me in terms of my own sadistic needs and desires, it can be incredibly sexy and is a tool that can be used in a wonderful but also powerful way. It is done on MY terms, when I want, how I want and in what ways I want. Ultimately, it is very much about having control although, I get a great deal out of it, and more than I thought possible when I first explored it.

"There is a beauty in the strength and determination of a woman who follows her own path, who isn't thrown off by obstacles along the way. There is a beauty about a woman whose confidence comes from experiences; who knows she can fall, pick herself up, and move on" unknown

"Wisdom begins in wonder” (Socrates)
"Imagination is more important than knowledge" (Albert Einstein)
Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est. http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/226772/

I thought you might enjoy the idea of the chastity dynamic. If done with a sub who understand what pleasure a Domme can get from it, then it is wonderful.

Some subs just don't see, sadly, that all Dommes are not cut from the same pattern or indeed will share their ideas about what chastity is about.

I have had subs approach me who say,"I need to be put in chastity" to which my reply is "You need a different Mistress then" and they do not get that if they are telling me they need it, it leaves me no room for manoeuvre, it becomes a must-do, a reverse hard limit. I am being controlled by them.

If I ask them, if we get that far, why do they think they need it, they say because without it I will wank and then I won't be submissive. Well, that attitude may be fine for some Dommes but it makes me feel somewhat less than special and that I must act as 'gaoler of the cock' in order to drag submission from the sub.

I have also had subs who have promised the earth in terms of chastity and what they will do. They go ahead, often without my input or advice, and buy expensive hand made chastity devices and then, these subs often can't last five minutes in the device and find they have wasted money on something that turned out to be just another hot wank fantasy. These subs have no will power, no real desire to please their Mistress, just a horny idea of what chastity is about. They are often needy, demanding attention a lot of the time, as though in recompense for me having stopped their hands touching their willy, I must read five long e-mails per day on their minute by minute suffering. Argghhh! Do-me Prima Donna's of the worst kind.

Just some, a few, lovely subs come through and say things like they are interested in exploring chastity, they love tease and denial, they want to hand over control and somehow what they say and how they say it resonates and I know I have a good one. They are often happy to start simple and work up, they listen to Mistress, they will prove to her they can be trusted not to wank so she knows it is not all about being put in 'cock prison' and that what they will do will be a joint venture with their Domme, something they can both really enjoy. Ahhhh..those are the ones that make it all worthwhile.

Mistress of @paulss My PD blog at http://mistress-keene.blogspot.com/ http://twitter.com/#!/Mistress_Keene