This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| 8 Nov 11, 9:58 AM Emmaline  UK(B), 7 yrs £      |
I'm intrigued - did you speak to the DM at any point afterwards? [ip] ...It seemed like a good idea at the time... | |||
| 8 Nov 11, 10:13 AM AshUK UK(EN), 7 yrs £ |
Oh come on ! Where's your sense of adventure ? " Pow ! Right in the kisser ! " | |||
| 8 Nov 11, 10:15 AM twilightsilence UK(ME), 16 mths |
Hiding behind the sense of self-preservation perhaps?? Take me on a journey and keep me safe on our travels.... | |||
| 8 Nov 11, 10:20 AM AshUK UK(EN), 7 yrs £ |
Because I think once you go down the ' I'm going to tie you up for ten minutes, then spank you for ten minutes, followed by five minutes of flogging and then cool down, soft blanket and cake ' you've pretty much sucked all the excitement from the scene like a ten dollar whore gagging on a tired cock. Whereas ' I've got you tied up and I'm going to do what the fuck I like to you ' is far more exciting for the sub ( I hope ! ) and fills their mind with all kinds of tremors and expectations. And - going back to your earlier point, about knives vs spankings - I think this is where a bit of common sense needs to come in. Yes, I do knife play. I adore knife play. But even I would accept that it's not everyone's cup of tea. So before I actually cut anyone, I would probably check that they were into cutting. Whereas spanking ? Jesus, everyone in here takes a spanking. Don't they ? If I tied someone up and they were like ' Please sir, don't spank me ' then I'd probably throw them out into the street and tell them to go find a nice vanilla relationship.... " Pow ! Right in the kisser ! " | |||
| 8 Nov 11, 10:27 AM Emmaline UK(B), 7 yrs £ |
Apart from the whole blood-letting and potential communicable diseases...! ...It seemed like a good idea at the time... | |||
| 8 Nov 11, 10:28 AM mcncirce UK(BH), 9 yrs |
Basic consent is insufficient when playing on an ad hoc basis or with a new partner. What you need is informed consent (It's not just the name of a website ya know}. You need to find out what is involved in the play scenaria and what the possible results/consequences might be - and then you are in a better position to give consent. Michelle Trussed UK (shop) ~****~ Thoughts on BDSM (resource) | |||
| 8 Nov 11, 11:44 AM Reversed 23 mths |
I am finding this thread extremely interesting and think this is one of the more important topics that gets aired on this site. The fact that the difference between 'play' and Actual Bodily Harm seems to be escaping some people's attention is slightly concerning. As is the recourse to *nuances of the concept of 'consent' that seem more to help align behaviours to people's preferences rather than encourage a undestanding of what the fundamental principles of 'consent' really are, and how they can be applied to the things we get up to in ways that demonstrate and perhaps enhance our mutual respect within different roles.
[* There isn't any such thing as uninformed or partially informed or hinted at or assumed or let's-just-hope-for-the-best consent. It's like pregnancy - it is or it isn't Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. | |||
| 8 Nov 11, 11:58 AM Attitude_Adjuster UK(N), 6 yrs |
winning reply. And all men kill the thing they love, By all let this be heard, Some do it with a bitter look, Some with a flattering word, The coward does it with a kiss, The brave man with a sword! | |||
| 8 Nov 11, 1:48 PM dryad_x UK(YO), 7 mths |
Yes, yes it does! | |||
| 8 Nov 11, 1:57 PM proccie UK(HP), 6 yrs |
This website is not called "Informed Consent" for nothing. Without the informed part there is no informed consent and hence no real consent to anything. If you play without a discussion of what is about to take place, either as dom or Sub then you are not taking part in the exchange of the necessary information for the play to informed consensual. I subscribe to the principal of "RACK" Risk Aware Consensual Kink", if you are not informed then you are not aware.
Zen S&M: The sound of one hand slapping. |
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