When new. (56)

Sensitive, sexual, sensual and submissive. But put away the ropes, whips and chains, without the mental connection, they mean nothing to me.  The power is in the presence and knowing. 

Edited Mon 24 Oct 11, 5:32 PM by thirsty_succubus

On-line communication is fine as a start. You will be very lucky to find the 'one' at the first attempt. Keep your options open to begin with. By attending your local munch you will meet other local kinksters. It is also a good place to meet your prospective Doms. Others there (if appraised of the situation) can look out for you, and thats always good from a safety point of view.

Enough lecturing. Get out there and enjoy yourself. You will substantially increase your chances of meeting the right person for you.

Owner of The Croppery Dungeon and Breakfast. Organises The St Leonards munch.

Maybe even go a time or two before inviting in a potential D ( though they may be there anyway). That way it becomes your home ground.

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Silly question alert. Do you have to dress like a kinkster to go to a munch ? Because I'm quite normal in my clothes lol.

Sensitive, sexual, sensual and submissive. But put away the ropes, whips and chains, without the mental connection, they mean nothing to me.  The power is in the presence and knowing. 

Sensitive, sexual, sensual and submissive. But put away the ropes, whips and chains, without the mental connection, they mean nothing to me.  The power is in the presence and knowing. 

It's not a silly question...

Most munches have a "vanilla/normal" dress code, most are held in pubs and it is considered best not to dress to draw attention to the group.

@The_Coven / @The_Problem_Page, you might give the advice that someone needs. / I want the "Moon on a stick and the Stars suspended from bunting". / So many haystacks, so few needles! / Conserve conversation and converse about conservation!

Sensitive, sexual, sensual and submissive. But put away the ropes, whips and chains, without the mental connection, they mean nothing to me.  The power is in the presence and knowing. 

The advice about going to munches is good, but perhaps doesn't fully explain the next stage of meeting someone for 'dates' or whatever.

Personally, if there is no play, kissing or sex then i'd say go and meet people once or even twice and feel free to do this with other people. This is just establishing if you're a good match for each other. If you don't know if you're a good match or not then it seems a shame to write off others who could be equally a good match, or a better match. I think if it's clear these are 'getting to know you' type meets or dates, rather than 'i'm meeting you twice so i can sleep with you next without being a slut, this is just a waiting game*' type things, then no one needs to be told, unless they ask. Bear in mind these people might be doing the same to you. How would you feel? Don't be a hypocrite.

If there is a lot of flirting, via memo, text, phone or in rl, then i think the person deserves to know you are doing this with others, they might not have realised where they stand and they deserve to know. If there is sex, kissing or play, then i think you need the other person's consent - as this seems to be heading into the realms of cheating (if no consent) or poly (if consent is given).

x

*I don't think you're a slut, or if you are that it is a bad thing, if you sleep with total strangers let alone people on a first date fwiw - i use this example as i know some people have a time line or amount of dates as a specific slut/non-slut number.

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Boredkitty wrote: chartreuse wrote: Boredkitty wrote: Munches are tricky for me due to work commitments. So I wouldn't be able to be a regular. I don't think. Although I think there is a ladies munch that I could make more frequently for support. Silly question alert. Do you have to dress like a kinkster to go to a munch ? Because I'm quite normal in my clothes lol. It's not a silly question... Most munches have a "vanilla/normal" dress code, most are held in pubs and it is considered best not to dress to draw attention to the group. Phew. I suppose that makes perfect sense.

Also, this highlights why the word 'munch' is important to mean something vanilla. Most munches are exactly this. They happen in a pub or room in a pub and are a non fetish/non kink way for new people or people who do not want to do the fetish thing to meet like-minded kinksters. Munches that have play or fetish wear shouldn't be called munches imo, as it blurs the meaning and can make it confusing. Luckily, most munches, certainly as advertised on the Munch Board here on IC are vanilla affairs with kinky attendees.

x

Quick Lynn, run, they're sex people
@Modified_Bodies
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@LGB_Forum