Chastity device only comes off 5 times a year (48)

Like the way you put it MsValentine and partner. About he feeling as if he is being held and controlled when he has it on.

I'd never use a chastity device in order to make someone behave well, or because they can't control their wanking. Quite the opposite.

For me, if I give someone the gift of me locking them in chastity it's usually because I want them to feel they are being rewarded in some way. They are being given irrefutable evidence of my ownership of them ... for them to feel, touch, see, experience and be acutely aware of when they are alone, or away from me. It's not something I do lightly. It's what I do to make them feel comforted, trusted, wanted and in full submission to me. If a man can't appreciate that as something good, then he's not the type of sub I'd want.

As to whether it makes them more attentive, yes I have noticed a heightened level of attentiveness in some, and often because I have asked for that (to be fair), but to an already devoted sub, it shouldn't really change. It can be more about just adding to the closeness and bond between you. [/quote]

Love this post. Rather typically I suppose ive always thought of the reward in chastity to be the release from a device. I'm blown away at the thought of wearing a device and it being a reward that is gifted to you.

In my particular world i would regard myself as totally submissive with a deep and real desire to serve and to be subservient. This is not something i can change or alter on a base level. However this feeling can be enhanced and magnified by use of chastity. Does this make me feel less of a submissive because this trait in my personality, absolutely not.

Perhaps a particular Mistress would not see this as a benefit, but rather a needy submissive who requires chastity to attain true potential. While and other might see tremendous potential in this control method. i believe there simply isn't one fit all answer. That is what makes life so interesting and exciting.

I think there is a huge difference between a feeling and an action. A sub may well quite reasonably feel more submissive because of a chastity device and I would applaud and support this. It is not a bad thing to enjoy the feeling of submission which a chastity device engenders.

What I dislike is where subs need a chastity device in order to behave submissively. What they feel is their own affair and their business. How they act is where I get involved as any sub of mine must be able to behave submissively and obediently regardless of kinky accessories.

Dominant partner in an FLR with @paulss

*Nods in agreement.*

I have a couple of questions... though.

Would you remain involved with a submissive who only acted submissively if he wore what made him feel submissive?

Would you consider him to be a submissive?

Would you do what was necessary to make him act submissively?

Would you try to gain his submission without those devices, etc. and, if you couldn't, would you have made him aware that unless he could serve as you want him to that he would serve no purpose to you?

If you happened to really like the submissive (a lot) but he continuously failed to behave submissively and obediently would you carry on with him, would you accept his inabilities, forsake what it was that you wanted; make allowances for him/turn a blind eye, give up on ever achieving his submission but maintain a relationship with him (on his terms or on a non-D/s basis) or would you call it quits, tell him it wasn't working for you (despite how much you liked him) and end the relationship, on all levels except that of a friendship, if that were possible?

Just how much compromise would you make to keep a man who professed to be submissive but who wasn't able to do it on your terms?

Sorry to aim these questions in your direction but I agree with so much of what you say that it could have been me saying it... I am in the process of doing some self-analysis, I sometimes think I ask the impossible but I know other people find what I seek and... you are one of them.

The impossible task that I face seems to be finding the right mix of both chemistry and submission... it seems that I either get one or the other, never both at the same time from the same person.

Of course, others are welcome to respond to the above questions, there are a few other Dommes that also appear to have a similar philosophy to mine, with regard to D/s. However, I also feel that I am in a minority where D/s means more than game playing, for sexual purposes only (but that's not to say that sex isn't VERY important to me).

@The_Coven / @The_Problem_Page / I want the "Moon on a stick and the Stars suspended from bunting". / So many haystacks, so few needles! / Any man can be what a woman wants him to be, if he wants to be with her... relinquish the power to her and let her lead the way.

Edited 21 Jan 12, 10:42 PM by chartreuse

Dominant partner in an FLR with @paulss

Your D/s relationship philosophy is very similar to mine (I expect there will be a few differences but, on the whole, you seem to be of the same mind-set, about what you want, as I am - no surprises there for me ).

I have had a few brief periods of happiness but they have only been brief, it's like searching for a Holy Grail and (as per my tag line) there are so many haystacks, so few needles! I am exhausted with the search.

@The_Coven / @The_Problem_Page / I want the "Moon on a stick and the Stars suspended from bunting". / So many haystacks, so few needles! / Any man can be what a woman wants him to be, if he wants to be with her... relinquish the power to her and let her lead the way.

Edited 21 Jan 12, 11:54 PM by chartreuse

If the chastity device constricts the penis and is worn full-time, over time the corpus cavernosum WILL go fibrous and fail to fill with blood the way it should to provide expanded girth and erection. So, chastity has a potential downside. While the CB2000, 3000, etc is probably not a problem, more rigid metal tubes can be a problem. The key to living in them is to alternate with another chastity device that is not as restrictive!