20 Oct 11, 6:14 PM
Emmaline
UK(B), 7 yrs
£ 
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"i had this very interesting dream last night, and it got me hawt" works well sometines 
x
[pink] ...It seemed like a good idea at the time...
http://chopmusic.co.uk/
. . . http://www.brumbazaar.co.uk/ . . . http://www.londonalternativemarket.com/
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22 Oct 11, 9:50 AM
Elysium
UK(EH), 5 yrs
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Mrs_miggins wrote:
I have a theory, don't waste any more time with vanilla's than is absolutely necessary before you decide that they are worth the effort...
My tactics, that ALWAYS work. Drop it into the conversation about BDSM (more than once, so that he knows you are interested), and then say "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeuw, I really don't like submissive men they turn my stomach, why try and halt millions of years of evolution. I need my man to be strong and let me know my place"
Most men (in my experience) usually suddenly become either a) masterful, to let you know they are into the idea, or b) go green around the gills, and look all pathetic. If it's the latter, drink up and leave.
Now if I knew 20 years ago what I know now, I wouldn't have wasted 20 years on a very good looking but completely submissive weak and wanky loser.
PS. Start as you mean to go on, no good falling in love with someone only to find that they are not or never are going to be what you want/need.
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Why's it against millions of years of evolution to be a submissive man?
Also, what makes submissive men weak wanky losers?
Why are you insulting submissive men? Let's televise and broadcast the raping of kings.
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22 Oct 11, 10:47 AM
clouds
UK(CR), 4 yrs |
othyim wrote:
takeninhanduk wrote:
How do i tell him?
I have been dating a guy for about a month now and everything is going great. He is naturally dominant and has displayed taken in hand tendancies but i have not told him exactly what i want from a relationship ie, taken in hand. My question is shall i tell him straight out? Hint? Or wait and see what happens?xxx
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Taken-in-Hand is a very specific, and IMO emotionally rather dangerous and edgy dynamic.
Through the dynamics, the risk for abuse is higher than in a D/s or a "regular" 24/7 or TPE.
Consent very much being a part of that.
Make sure you have the right counterpart?
Good luck.
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I'm not sure I understand the reasons for this comment.
Why is TiH any more edgy that d/s, or more open to abuse? Are you assuming consent is not a part of TiH? Because consent is definitely a part of TiH and dd (domestic discipline).
People reading this might be very much put off TiH, unecessarily so, IMO. Please can you clarify.
annie
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22 Oct 11, 10:52 AM
presprout
UK(NG), 4 yrs
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Elysium wrote:
Mrs_miggins wrote:
I have a theory, don't waste any more time with vanilla's than is absolutely necessary before you decide that they are worth the effort...
My tactics, that ALWAYS work. Drop it into the conversation about BDSM (more than once, so that he knows you are interested), and then say "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeuw, I really don't like submissive men they turn my stomach, why try and halt millions of years of evolution. I need my man to be strong and let me know my place"
Most men (in my experience) usually suddenly become either a) masterful, to let you know they are into the idea, or b) go green around the gills, and look all pathetic. If it's the latter, drink up and leave.
Now if I knew 20 years ago what I know now, I wouldn't have wasted 20 years on a very good looking but completely submissive weak and wanky loser.
PS. Start as you mean to go on, no good falling in love with someone only to find that they are not or never are going to be what you want/need.
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Why's it against millions of years of evolution to be a submissive man?
Also, what makes submissive men weak wanky losers?
Why are you insulting submissive men?
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It's not. They're not. She's not.
I think you'll find that she is explaining how she sends a very clear and simple message, in order to determine the attitude to her preferred role in a potential partner. It is not necessarily an indication of her beliefs or her public position.
I'm all for getting angry about injustice, but it's inappropriate to seize on things that people say out of context to suit your argument.
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22 Oct 11, 11:09 AM
MisstressvsSolicedog
UK(NN), 17 mths
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presprout wrote:
Elysium wrote:
Mrs_miggins wrote:
I have a theory, don't waste any more time with vanilla's than is absolutely necessary before you decide that they are worth the effort...
My tactics, that ALWAYS work. Drop it into the conversation about BDSM (more than once, so that he knows you are interested), and then say "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeuw, I really don't like submissive men they turn my stomach, why try and halt millions of years of evolution. I need my man to be strong and let me know my place"
Most men (in my experience) usually suddenly become either a) masterful, to let you know they are into the idea, or b) go green around the gills, and look all pathetic. If it's the latter, drink up and leave.
Now if I knew 20 years ago what I know now, I wouldn't have wasted 20 years on a very good looking but completely submissive weak and wanky loser.
PS. Start as you mean to go on, no good falling in love with someone only to find that they are not or never are going to be what you want/need.
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Why's it against millions of years of evolution to be a submissive man?
Also, what makes submissive men weak wanky losers?
Why are you insulting submissive men?
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It's not. They're not. She's not.
I think you'll find that she is explaining how she sends a very clear and simple message, in order to determine the attitude to her preferred role in a potential partner. It is not necessarily an indication of her beliefs or her public position.
I'm all for getting angry about injustice, but it's inappropriate to seize on things that people say out of context to suit your argument.
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the weak an wanky loser may well have been a complete twat,,,
or possibly some-one who could'nt meet Mrs Miggens needs,, and a thoughly decent bloke who was'nt right for her,,
or Mrs Miggens is a selfish self obsessed women who's only intrest is what she can get out of the bloke,,
i know plenty of Doms who come across quite meak publicly and are very asertive in the right way privatly,, and the reverse also,,
unfortunatly i think many of us find as we get older we get fussy and selfish without giving much thought to growing into a good partnership/relationship because our want and 'needs' are not being met instantly,,
yet we all talk about this very subject of union and few of us seem to actually understand it,
Please excuse crap spelling cause i,m rubbish
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22 Oct 11, 12:16 PM
ClassAct2005
UK(N), 7 yrs
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There's a balance. You meet the wimpish socially awkward man who finds putting on a suit and buying a meal dreadfully out of his comfort zone that he cannot even suggest a venue. its' not going to make most submissive women want him in the slightest. He might be dominant in his fantasies or if you train yhim up over 5 years but who wants to do that?
At the other extreme is the perfectly nice man who because the woman (or man if the sexes are reversed) is just so very fussy they reject him whereas if they had got to know him they would have seen he loves taking charge and can be assertive, rather than just thinking he would like to be which is a very very different thing.
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22 Oct 11, 7:23 PM
NightFox
UK(CV), 3 yrs
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The danger in the direct 'tell it all' approach is that it can frighten people off - too much too soon. They do not get the chance to adapt. Introducing it in bit size chunks is perhaps best. In introducing past girlfriends to my fetish, I did not suddenly produce a cat-suit, gas-mask and butt plug and demand they put them on and in ! Just introduced it a little at a time. Some latex underwear, then a dress etc etc. Slowly, slowly, catchee monkee ! It tended to work out okay - never had one running away. Perhaps you should just ask him to spank you one evening, as a taster, and take it from there.
Good luck
NF takeninhanduk wrote:
How do i tell him?
I have been dating a guy for about a month now and everything is going great. He is naturally dominant and has displayed taken in hand tendancies but i have not told him exactly what i want from a relationship ie, taken in hand. My question is shall i tell him straight out? Hint? Or wait and see what happens?xxx
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22 Oct 11, 7:31 PM
NightFox
UK(CV), 3 yrs
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Mmmm, looks like evolution may be your downfall lady. Jeeze you are even wanting equal pay these days, and you are not as strong as we are ! Grunt.
Mrs_miggins wrote:
I really don't like submissive men they turn my stomach, why try and halt millions of years of evolution. I need my man to be strong and let me know my place"
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22 Oct 11, 7:32 PM
ClassAct2005
UK(N), 7 yrs
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I think it depends what you're after. If you need a full D/s relationship then you need to disclose it early on because it's like saying "I'm gay" - it's so different from the norm and best to be said. So I tend to write to people about it in advance or shortly after we meet if we meet off line.
If I didn't need this then I could just think well he looks good and I like him so let's just see how it goes and get to know each other and then see if he might be quite firm in bed but that could waste so much time. If someone vanlla has a go at this stuff (in my experience) it just doesn't work and it's a bit of a joke. it's hard to "get it" if you aren't made that way. If all one nees however is the odd spank and occasional handcuffs then of course whether that is introduced into the relationship or not might be neither here nor there. If instead you want him to be in charge and in a way it affects your every interaction and how indeed you interact with each other then I think finding out early on if a man is dominant (or woman sub) or whatever might be best.
NightFox wrote:
The danger in the direct 'tell it all' approach is that it can frighten people off - too much too soon. They do not get the chance to adapt. Introducing it in bit size chunks is perhaps best. In introducing past girlfriends to my fetish, I did not suddenly produce a cat-suit, gas-mask and butt plug and demand they put them on and in ! Just introduced it a little at a time. Some latex underwear, then a dress etc etc. Slowly, slowly, catchee monkee ! It tended to work out okay - never had one running away. Perhaps you should just ask him to spank you one evening, as a taster, and take it from there.
Good luck
NF takeninhanduk wrote:
How do i tell him?
I have been dating a guy for about a month now and everything is going great. He is naturally dominant and has displayed taken in hand tendancies but i have not told him exactly what i want from a relationship ie, taken in hand. My question is shall i tell him straight out? Hint? Or wait and see what happens?xxx
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22 Oct 11, 7:33 PM
harlin_dolcett
UK(M), 6 yrs |
takeninhanduk wrote:
How do i tell him?
...but i have not told him exactly what i want from a relationship ie, taken in hand. My question is shall i tell him straight out? Hint? Or wait and see what happens?xxx
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If it didn't come up in the original conversations you'd better get it out in the open quickly before you both waste a lot of time on the wrong handling of you. Does he know what it means? Ask him that first. or, if you want to be as sneaky as a girl, just suggest something like "you remember when we first spoke and I mentioned being taken in hand? I'm ready now if you want to take me." Of course you didn't mention it, but will he remember?
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