Do's and don'ts list for potential Doms.... (31)

Owner of The Croppery Dungeon and Breakfast. Organises The St Leonards munch.

Agreed about the specifics.. The "thou shalt always..." and "thou shalt nots..." are bollocks.

I think there are some basic principles though that are pretty good starting points...

Put it this way... they helped me!

Let's all play nicely people.. Just remember.. This is meant to be fun!
"The art of being a gentleman is knowing when not to be..."

With the correct setting the voice can be so much more powerful than any action. The choice of words and more importantly, the intonation with which they are delivered is the key to this. The submissive can create any image in their mind but the power and effect of it is to a large extend controlled by the Dominant.

SOS

The Titter_Ye_Not group - for when you don't feel too serious.
Linuxware - The Linux user goup
I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. - Mahatma Gandhi
www.Londonmunch.co.uk
Londonmunch@hotmail.com - Enquiries

... and definitely ignore anything this man says!!

Let's all play nicely people.. Just remember.. This is meant to be fun!
"The art of being a gentleman is knowing when not to be..."

3. Step away from the keyboard and do it for real with someone whose surname is not .jpeg

( for the hard of reading...)

Watford Munch is on the 3rd Tuesday of every month.
Come to the edge. We might fall. Come to the edge. It's too high! COME TO THE EDGE! And they came, and he pushed, and they flew

However I run a busy business life and large family and house and I don't expect a man to deal with any of that So I wouldn't obviously email him confidential work stuff and expect him to tell me how to do it. I might though say i was thinking of buying a new dress and here are some suggestions and which does he like? Other subs might be in a relationship where they don't spend or control their money (I wouldn't at my life stage want that).

If we're talking about first dates I prefer if the man has some nice suggestion as to where to eat if we're eating but given people seem to suggest places which don't exist or are terribly down market and very noisy or cold I might suggest somewhere civilised like a hotel bar. I wouldn't want a man to choose what I eat on a first date as I don't know if I find him attractive and won't be submissive in two seconds of meeting someone. I would never be physical with a man when I first met him although I'm a tactile person, because I have long term relationships and get to know people well. Other people might expect dinner, hotel room booked etc. In fact it's worth making some of that clear in advance given you get the two types of first dates - some subs excepting a load of sex and others wanting to talk. In fact I'm more likely to be seduced by someone's brain.

There is no BDSM rule book, just find a sub that has the same views as you and enjoy life.

“Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

That is interesting, personally I wouldn't be at all sure about the toilet requests, I could be persuaded with the dress thing but I would expect the lady to be clued up on what outfits work in what situations and present some final options. Also whilst I would obviously respect not getting involved in family or business I would like to utilise that knowledge and experience for my benefit, for example for the sub to advise on our finances if she had a better business brain than I and could make a reasoned argument or advise on particular family problem, I would be a fool to not recognise this advice just in the interest of maintaining a traditional D/s relationship, but then it is only advice.

First dates are simple for me. Meet for a drink in a vanilla context or arrange to meet at a pre existing event to see if we have chemistry. No expectation beyond that, even if we are travelling a fair distance.

Interesting insight though classact2005, thank you.