This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| Thu 13 Oct 11, 9:47 PM Ghost_Writer_sub 9 mths |
Recently I've been speaking with fellow kinksters and there seems to be something either in the air or the water lately. Why is it that when a couple are in a D/s relationship, one of them are still on the lookout for another partner? When said new partner is found they dump old one? Is it a seasonal thing? Or just in the air or water? So many kinkster friends have been telling me their woes of this kind of behaviour lately. Is the grass always greener on the other side of the fence? Or are people just making do with current partner, until their perfect one comes along?
By the way, I'm happy and content with my Master at present
i am His, "M" completes me, He controls me, He is my oxygen, without Him, i'm not her, His slut. | ||
| 13 Oct 11, 11:00 PM ladydreams UK(CR), 3 yrs        |
In my experience some do think the grass is greener on the other side regardless of season, air or water. They are scared they are missing out on something but only to find it tastes just the same or is not so sweet after all. Maybe it is because the opportunity/availability is very much in this scene or one partner gets a thrill out of the chase. No answers sorry, but on the flip side i do know of some very happy couples who grow together in their interests and lifestyle; preferring to choose quality over quantity. I could spend my life in this sweet surrender - Aerosmith | ||
| 14 Oct 11, 12:05 AM Muzzlehatch UK(TN), 7 yrs  |
It's in the water. It's a Taliban plot!  Owner of The Croppery Dungeon and Breakfast. Organises The St Leonards munch. | ||
| 14 Oct 11, 12:12 AM Grasshopper UK(SE), 2 yrs |
It's in the air tonight, oh Lord. Basically as I am seeink it, Ray, the problem is that you are not callink your girlfriend for five months. You see, the hot babies like to feel wanted. If you are not callink them on the phone for a while, it is like a way of saying "you are worst song, played on ugliest guitar" | ||
| 14 Oct 11, 3:55 AM rehtael_ni_dal  UK(G), 9 yrs |
Now I have chocolate and a gorillia in my mind - oh yeah ! I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it. | ||
| 14 Oct 11, 6:51 AM corvus_solitarius UK(W), 2 yrs    |
It's neither seasonal, in the air or water. If people are like that they will unfortunately do it. The hurt partner is the one that suffers the most, losing trust in relationships and finding it hard to move on or find a new partner.
Never a lip is curved with pain
That can't be kissed into smiles again. | ||
| 14 Oct 11, 8:22 AM calmhands UK, 2 yrs |
Sweet shop sydrome. So many to choose from. The internet has opened up the opportunity to meet people from further afield and provides a means of doing so fairly secretly and with a degree of anonymity. Personally I stay away from anyone connected to anyone else, if they will do it with you then they will do it to you. ch x Bring me back to me.. | ||
| 14 Oct 11, 8:24 AM Athena_x UK(SY), 3 yrs |
Edited 14 Oct 11, 11:25 AM by Athena_x | ||
| 14 Oct 11, 8:35 AM Ms_Valentine UK, 9 yrs |
This is as much a generalisation as any other. Someone can be unhappy in a relationship, meet a new person ( even if still connected), get separated/divorced, set up home with new person who is much more compatible and live happily ever after. Not everyone sees life as a sweetshop from which they are entitled to take and take. Falling out of love with one person and leaving them for another does not mean automatically that they will become serial deserters. I think you have to take each person as the unique individual they are and talk about their life history and values and from that you know if someone is a 'user' at heart or just someone who made a mistake, lived unhappily and finally decided to do something about it.
A Fine Norfolk Domme. Mistress of @paulss My PD blog at http://mistress-keene.blogspot.com/ | ||
| 14 Oct 11, 8:55 AM calmhands UK, 2 yrs |
I agree in some part with you. I have known people to do exactly that and live happily ever after. Rarely, but I have known it happen. I was generalising, and I think in general that is how people are. You however expanded to say one should take time to talk to them and find out their history. Very sensible advice, anyone with a track record should probably be avoided. You can't always help who you fall for, then it's the way you handle it that counts, minimising the fallout to the people who get hurt. My own personal thoughts, and they are just mine,are that I value honesty (however bad the truth might be) and integrity above all else. To me, just me, they are the corner stone of all relationships be it D/s, friendship or whatever, deciet and disloyalty are not high on my list of characteristics I find attractive in anyone. The only behaviour we are responsible for is our own and that includes how we accept, or not the way others treat us. CH X
Bring me back to me.. | ||
| 14 Oct 11, 9:19 AM Mistress_Rosanna PH, 6 yrs |
Its is SO EASY to look around when one is involved but the hurt and pain caused when it comes out is harsh. Its simple to fix this dilemma if you are not happy move on and don't hurt your partner. Real BDSM relationships are HARDER then a normal one due to the dynamics involved but the rules are the same. Rosannas Pet |
and not on the lookout!