Kink Therapists in London (44)

well done for sorting the tight foreskin, I once had the same problem, not to a severe degree, but enough to interfere with the most energetic sex. In the physical sense, receiving pleasure, or far more vigorous thrusting, has become more pleasurable, but for me the new sensations took several months of sex for me to associate with more intense pleasure. Hence, take it slowly and don't expect instant results!

Re the therapy, I have no qualifications and can only offer common sense. We're all on the IC because we deviate from the norm, but for most of us, where's the harm in that? It's a big, wide world and there are plenty of of kinky folk to meet. So I'd suggest chatting to a few therapists, but not necessarily with the sole view of becoming 100% vanilla, but perhaps to consider that maybe you can just accept your kink as one of many things about you make up your personality. I wouldn't suggest it's mandatory to find a kink-specialist therapist, most will be broad-minded - just chat to several until you find one that you feel you can open up to and who will help.

I'd expect all loving partners to help & understand each other's kinks, provided that you can openly communicate. If the kink is forming a problem between you & a partner, then I'd first address the communication, and if they were really unsupportive, for me personally, I'd question the relationship.

Good luck!

What would tops do without bottoms? And vice versa!

Good article that.

Despite the DSM having modified their defining criteria for S&M, it is still easy to be pathologised by a therapist who doesn't know better, and it seems sensible that the OP would rather see someone who is knowledgable about the issues he is facing. It will save lots of time and money that would otherwise be wasted explaining terms and concepts to the therapist, basically TFG paying to educate his counsellor.

And self selecting a psychologist who doesn't believe in pathologising such things is objective medicine because....

just saying like

And all men kill the thing they love, By all let this be heard, Some do it with a bitter look, Some with a flattering word, The coward does it with a kiss, The brave man with a sword!

..otherwise it would be akin to going to discuss your homosexual leanings with a Roman Catholic priest.

Surely that's one matter the priests do understand very well ?

What would tops do without bottoms? And vice versa!

Edited 30 Oct 11, 2:09 AM by Eleise

Paraphilia isn't exactly uncommon, and opinions shouldn't come into it - if you're seeing someone qualified and reputable. There is, however, a bit of a danger in self selecting your doctor, on the basis of their opinion, which really starts to sound like a search for self confirmation of something rather than an objective opinion.

In some sense the OP pathologised himself, he already stated that 'kink' was the source of his woes, which, at some level its interfering with his otherwise happy life. Thats pretty much the definition isn't it? Surely he should be looking for a kink unfriendly therapist?

And all men kill the thing they love, By all let this be heard, Some do it with a bitter look, Some with a flattering word, The coward does it with a kiss, The brave man with a sword!

The two things seem however at most peripherally connected.I suppose my desire for penetrative sex was diminished by the condition because sex invariably involved a week of the wrong sort of pain but it certainly had no bearing on my view of kink.

My GP was a bit reluctant to a circumcision but it worked for me.Penetrative sex is really good now,with increased sensitivity but my enjoyment of kink is totally undiminished and if I had to give up one or the other I would give up the vanilla penetration without a thought.

There seems to me to be a guilt issue with the OP and I think that is what needs to be addressed.