This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| 2 Oct 11, 10:56 AM MisstressvsSolicedog UK(NN), 17 mths  |
haveing read your previous post's i hold squarly on that your more into 'erotic' BDSM IE like hard sweaty sex but without a pain eliments couple with that a careing affectionate side also,, your profile although reads good for what, a hormone enduced guy will read it wrong,, thinking you want to be used and abused,, something i doubt you want, it's not about giving up kink it's about understanding how and where your kink lays,, Please excuse crap spelling cause i,m rubbish | |
| 2 Oct 11, 11:10 AM Sister_of_Cain UK, 7 yrs  |
Are there any ways of giving up kink? Well that depends on how hardwired it is into your sense of person or sexuality. For me it is hardwired in and a large part of who I am, so not sure it would ever be possible. Unfortunately there are suicides every year from people who have not accepted there sexuality, in all forms. It becomes easier when you've accepted your preferences and tastes. The chances are it's not just kink (or lack of) that's getting you down, but other factors too, you thought of looking at these? For most people lack of companionship is a big one. My advice would be to take a step back, spend time with good friends and comeback to kink when the time is right. Sometimes suffers blonde moments. Edited 2 Oct 11, 11:12 AM by Sister_of_Cain | |
| 2 Oct 11, 11:17 AM misunderstoodslave UK(OL), 2 yrs |
That makes sense to me. The point about is it hard-wired or not is an interesting one. If not, it may be something you can move on from. If it is, then as much use to say you can forget it as to say you should go to one of those mentalist camps in America to "pray the gay away." But understanding how it is for you is the main thing. | |
| 2 Oct 11, 11:33 AM NightFox UK(CV), 3 yrs  |
Can you stop liking the music you like, the food you like, the art you like, the people you like ?
Other than taking drugs that would suppress your sex drive - then I'm afraid its a no-brainer !
Oh, chopping your genitalia off apparently does not work either. NF
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| 2 Oct 11, 12:16 PM inferno 7 yrs |
I tried for a long time too. No point trying. If you're asking because you're with a vanilla person who isn't willing, then I'm afraid you guys need to have a serious chat about the best way forward, and failing that, then... you know what's next. | |
| 2 Oct 11, 1:00 PM skingaz UK(DN), 2 yrs |
No, it's not because I'm with someone vanilla. Fact is, I'm not with anyone right now, and I'm really, really lonely. I don't think kink is helping either, frankly. | |
| 2 Oct 11, 1:02 PM pleasureswitch UK(E), 6 yrs |
I view My Kink as My sexuality. You or others may view theirs in others ways, an good for that. But as I view mine as my Sexuality,I could not give it up in the same way as I couldn't give up being right handed or having blue eyes, it who an what I am. I might be able to distract myself or replace it in My life with something else that requires as much attention, emotional effort and time but that would only be quitening it down, not gettin rid of it. It might fade over time of course. Skingaz, I really do think that You should some sort of Professional help. I hear an feel Your real pain You have around this, but playin this out on the Boards isn't goin to solve the problem, Professional Talk might. (Please note, I'm not sayin "Don't Post", You've got just asc much right to the space here as anyone else has!) I wish You Well "Yeah I like Kinky stuff,dirty dark pervy stuff,weird sex....
An' Yerself ?" | |
| 2 Oct 11, 1:33 PM chegne UK(EX), 8 mths |
People frequently do all of the above- their tastes change. Skingaz- I suggest you think carefully about what you mean by "kink". What is it, specifically, about "kink" that has come to disgust or depress you? And what is that you're still drawn to? Although IC is a great resource for discussing most kink-related issues, its probably not the best place to get help in quitting it. You should maybe consider seeing a counsellor, but make sure its one who's genuinely non-directive and non-judgemental (they'll all SAY they are, but some lack self-awareness). Someone who can help you to decide what you really want. As regards this or that being "hard-wired" into the brain, the fact is that scientists still know very little about how the brain controls sexuality, or how different sexual identities and preferences develop.
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| 2 Oct 11, 1:44 PM Empress_Martine UK(HA), 2 yrs £      |
No,that just not possible but you are looking gay etc partner which is difficult on IC.You could find someone on the gay fetish sites. http://empressm7.uboot.com/ http://www.socialkink.com/empressmartine Vampire, pro/lifestyle ts dom/switch.Ageplay mummy/aunty/AB,medical play,domestic,energy, outdoor specialist."Awsome! But whose's look after the country's security? The FBI pull double shifts!" | |
| 2 Oct 11, 1:46 PM Dante1 UK(BN), 5 yrs |
Having until recently been in a vanilla marriage for 15 years, I can honestly say that I don't believe you can give up kink. You can hide it, put it in a box, but in the end it will come out.....or else you go mad with unhappiness. It's like the evangelists in the states who claim to be able to cure people from being Gay, how can they possibly do this? It is hard wired in the DNA. In the same way I believe kink/BDSM is hard wired. I knew at 6 or 7 that I liked restraining people. Scenes of slavery in old Tarzan movies on the TV in the afternoon turned me on even then. No, sorry old chum, no off switch, embrace and enjoy.
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