This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| Fri 30 Sep 11, 3:32 AM freddiein40s UK, 6 yrs  |
This is a topic that might come up now and again from time to time. In simplistic terms the question is are Spanking and Bdsm connected or are they separate identities ? | |
| 30 Sep 11, 4:18 AM Peccavi 4 yrs |
Spanking can be incorporated within the plethora of BDSM but whether one chooses to view one's own purely spanking activity as a form of BDSM would be up to the individual. Certainly it may include an element of bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism and dominance and submission or it may simply be enjoyed as any other tactile sexual foreplay. It really is a matter for one's own interpretation. The idea that BDSM has to involve heavier play perhaps causes confusion. | |
| 30 Sep 11, 6:24 AM Muzzlehatch UK(TN), 7 yrs  |
I know a couple of professional 'spankees'. Talking to them I have found out a lot about their very specific kink. They have their own dedicated websites, don't do dungeons, and have no interest in anything else. When we first spoke, I was told. "I get spanked." When I said. "And then?" The answer was "Nothing!" To me it seemed a very limited, even blinkered way of thinking, but if that's what floats their boat, who am I to judge?
YKIOK Owner of The Croppery Dungeon and Breakfast. Organises The St Leonards munch. | |
| 30 Sep 11, 6:58 AM Baron_Morgan UK(N), 6 yrs |
In the broad sense, yes, spanking is a part of BDSM and there's no getting around that. However, it's a very popular fetish and often a very specific one, hence the big spanking community with only limited overlap with the rest of the BDSM world. There are also plenty of people who seeing spanking as an end in its own right, which doesn't have to lead to sex, and others who don't see it as sexual at all despite being an element of D/s. Each to their own, but any meaningful overview of BDSM would have to include spanking. | |
| 30 Sep 11, 7:30 AM wonderer UK, 5 yrs |
To me, BDSM is about dynamic - specifically a dynamic of unequal power. If you agree with that, then spanking is just one of many possible activities which can be used to convey that dynamic. But non-BDSM spanking, in which there is no expression of unequal power, can also exist. I suppose my understanding of BDSM tends towards the D/s side of things. Some might argue that if spanking actually hurts then it is part of SM. "Wisdom begins in wonder” (Socrates) | |
| 30 Sep 11, 7:31 AM FreeKinker UK(PE), 10 yrs |
Yet again we see the human need to categorise everything ! Most people incorporate spanking into other sceene activities I suppose. But 'bdsm' itself is a very broad and lose term for different groupings of activities and viewpoints. Its more a menu of choices than a set description. I would also observe that spankos seem to often seem to incorporate the use of domination / submission and costumes in role play scenarios which are parts of most people's bdsm.
Being a spanko is like being in the sweet shop and only eating mint imperials. But you are still in the sweet shop
vMaster aka Mike
Web Site: http://www.vmaster.me.uk/ | |
| 30 Sep 11, 7:35 AM wonderer UK, 5 yrs |
Categories are of course useful in the right context, and harmful if misapplied (e.g. to stereotype individuals or even oneself).
"Wisdom begins in wonder” (Socrates) | |
| 30 Sep 11, 7:45 AM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
A vast number of otherwise vanilla people spank their partner. It can be confusing. If a man is going on about spanking and nothing else that is a bit of a warning sign to me (as I need someone who wants a dominant/submissive relationship, not just spanking). On the other hand if someone would never spank me but is dominant I think that would be a pity although it would be his right to decide what he did. It is certainly a very good way of making it very clear who is boss. I would not like someone who spanked without sexual pleasure for him because he thought God said so. It has to be because it's sexual for him and helps the dynamic between us. | |
| 30 Sep 11, 5:20 PM freddiein40s UK, 6 yrs |
My take on it is , it is whilst possibly the two sides have been divided, possibly because there two seperate scene have developed over the years, it is still the same beast and always will be. Edited 30 Sep 11, 5:40 PM by freddiein40s | |
| 30 Sep 11, 7:24 PM ConsciousnessJunkie UK(N), 5 yrs |
I would suggest that it is more of a fetish, which is sometimes incorporated into BDSM play. | |
| 30 Sep 11, 7:26 PM ConsciousnessJunkie UK(N), 5 yrs |
Eh? Why does BDSM have to include spanking to be a meaningful overview? Not everyone into BDSM likes spanking. Having said that, when I say "I'm not into spanking, or pain, or anything like that" I get a look as if I've just sat there and crapped myself while singing Stevie Wonder and growing seven new heads. |
