This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| Fri 30 Sep 11, 3:25 AM Dreaming_Princess UK(G), 12 mths £   |
you know when you just get that feeling that things are coming to an end? horrible isnt it!! especially when the Dom has brought you into this lifestyle and made you believe your nothing but a mans toy.he brings you down to a certain point where you would literally do anything for him,hes made you so reliant on him that you cant submitt to anyone else unless hes there.you dont want any other Dom because hes made you not want anyone else.hes got into your mind so much that he knows exactly whats going on he knows how you feel and he understands you completely.he knows hes the only one i can let hurt me.hes made you want to do things that before you got into all this you would never dream of doing but you want to to please him because he likes it.the way he talks to you is so calm that it somehow makes you feel safe and secure even though you know your going to get beat.he makes you feel so happy and special when you get called a "good girl" or your name "sub" you know he isnt happy when he calls you by your real name. youv spent many months with this person trying to please him and trying to be the best sub you can be for him.all your energy and focus has been about him. but what on earth is a sub to do when there Dom has had enuff of them? your whole world comes crashing down,who else are you going to get your kicks from now when you so badly need them?hes the only one that gets you... im scared of being left... jessica | |
| 30 Sep 11, 3:28 AM Rumburak UK(G), 16 mths |
Good to know, a sub to be back on the market in Glasgow soon :PP On the more serious note: yes, I know how it is to be left by someone to whom you had given everything and was willing to do even more. It took me several months to get back on track (So, being serious, I don't expect this new sub to be available any soon :P) Time is a healer, and you can't do nothing to speed things up... | |
| 30 Sep 11, 4:28 AM Abraxus UK(WC), 12 yrs |
I know this is probably no help, but yes it is scary to be left and on your own again. However things have a way of working out. I'm sure lot's of people will find you special and, believe it or not, one day you'll find someone who you think is equally special. Each relationship is a learning experience and with each one your experience grows. What today feels like the best you can achieve will tomorrow become just one small step towards something even better, which you deserve. There's no doubt it will be difficult at first but one day you'll look back and see it was not only a good thing but necessary. Good luck and take care. | |
| 30 Sep 11, 7:16 AM flamesdesire UK(OX), 4 yrs |
Different scenario, but I left my Dom about 18months ago, for reasons I am not going to go into on here. However regardless of the fact that it was me who left him, I still had all those feelings that you are describing, we did not part on bad terms and still saw each other for several months after.
Things happened in his life that meant I could not see him anymore and this was good as it gave me the break I needed to no rely on him still. It is hard and you do wonder if there is someone out there who you can get to that level of love and commitment again. There is, but take time out for you and taking care of you first. Do some things that you want to do, let your friends take care of you. All comes good in the end and there is someone out there for everyone eventually....but when you are ready for it. jxx "Take me from this earth an endless night- this, the end of life. From the dark I feel your lips and taste your bloody kiss." | |
| 30 Sep 11, 7:38 AM clubslut UK(B), 4 yrs |
There was me to a degree in my last relationship, albeit a vanilla one. It felt like I was waling on eggshells sometimes, trying not to upset her, trying to keep her happy, etc. When our relationship ended I felt sick. But....what I have since discovered is that just because you're with someone, it doesn't mean that they are automatically going to make you happy. Live for the moment and live life how YOU want, not how you think others think you should. Put yourself first, take some time to find out who you are rather that what others think you should be, and you may come through it a stronger and happier person. Just because a relationship ends, it doesn't mean the rest of your life has to. Life is an adventure. Enjoy it. A friend with a flogger/cane/crop/pinwheel/violet wand/set of needles/strap on/etc. is a friend indeed | |
| 30 Sep 11, 8:31 AM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
I don't think you can always blame the man, though. Relationships break down. Usually one person ends it not both and usually both feel some loss. I always do even if I end something. It can take me a year to get over/want anyone else. The nature of the D/s relationship i s that you will feel reliant on him. If it's working well he will also though love you and want you so he will equally feel a loss when it's over. What is the solution? If it's really over (and no one can force another to stay in a relationship) then it's just a questio of letting time pass and hurt to fade. If you didn't both feel you were the one for life etc then it is as well it's ended and you can find someone better suited for you who will feel like that. | |
| 30 Sep 11, 8:32 AM RanDesu UK(WA), 16 mths  |
The wolves will gather. All of them fools. From what you have written, you will need time to heal and understand who you are and what you want. You may be fortunate and find that just one wolf will catch your scent, is worth the emotion you will dare to risk with them and will wait for your submission. Hopefully, more than one. Your journey is not over, just because the train you caught has been halted. Time for you to see that you have to decide what your destination is and that you need to walk yourself to the next station and hop another train. You are young. With youth, comes resilience and the ability to accept that life is challenging you. If you are the girl you believe yourself to be, you will see that there are those who would cherish you and still be as harsh as you need them to be. There are such Dominants in the world. Strong enough to see that affection is not a weakness. Strong enough to take you beyond all that could be done to you, because you know that they are able to love you and create pain to which you will succumb. Never be afraid of pain, whether it is physical or emotional. It makes you stronger and brings you closer to the perfection you seek in yourself. It prepares you for the next person you encounter, but should not taint your view of them. See them without the lens of hurt you are feeling now. If it is over... let it go and embrace the moment of calm. Don't forget to breathe.
Edited 30 Sep 11, 8:34 AM by RanDesu | |
| 30 Sep 11, 8:51 AM prettyPETunia UK(WS), 4 yrs |
Is it coming to an end??? Are you sure? Does he know how you feel? Have told him? Have you both looked at ways of repairing it? Maybe a no contact break from each other? Are you sure that its not just an insecurity thats taken hold of you? If love is blind I need to find a cane | |
| 30 Sep 11, 8:56 AM Gettin_better UK, 21 mths |
Its very easy to get lost in the pain of the end of a relationship - very understandably. We (huge generalisation - humans) need to see endings as positive - not negative. Lessons have been learned (hopefully) and rather than it being an end, its a new beginning. Love doesnt die completely, it just changes shape. If you love him and it is time to let go, let go. Love him... but more importantly, love yourself enough to move forward too. Realise that the future has wonderful things in store for you... good luck, be strong. Get up. Get over it. Get on with it. | |
| 30 Sep 11, 9:07 AM stillwondering UK(CH), 14 mths |
I'm not sure she was, but it's interesting that you read it that way. | |
| 30 Sep 11, 9:23 AM twilightsilence UK(ME), 16 mths |
I'm a week out of my first D/s relationship. I would be lying if I said it's easy. This is so different from previous break ups because, as you say, all your focus while you are together is on that person. Suddenly you are adrift with no focus.
It will get better though, it's about finding ways to distract yourself. Find another focus, and I don't necessarily mean another Dom straight away. I've decided to sign up for a degree course and I've thrown myself into having some fun Hugs xx You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have. |
Take some time for yourself and be kind to yourself.